The Colbert Report

The Word - Clarity

Season 2 • 12/14/2006

The only kind of conflict associated with a diamond should be the conflict of a married couple.

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00:34

Intro - 12/13/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: Stephen finds his long-lost eagle son, foreigners complain that Americans aren't polite, and Doris Kearns Goodwin finally gets to meet a historical figure in person.
12/13/2006
01:28

Replenishing the Eggnog Supply
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen stocks up the eggnog in December so he can nog out all year long. His doctor says he's got a mass of powdered nutmeg obstructing his lower intestine. Again.
12/13/2006
00:35

Charge Me Twice for Stephen
The Colbert ReportS2

The Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation is working with your local cable provider to bring The Report to the truly needy, and the truly needy to Stephen's advertisers.
12/13/2006
06:15

Daniel Pinchbeck
The Colbert ReportS2

Daniel Pinchbeck believes the Mayan god Quetzalcoatl is making a comeback. Stephen wants to know who he is and why we should be excited about him.
12/14/2006
01:36

Caesar Honeybee or Tyrone Hunnibi?
The Colbert ReportS2

Some viewers were confused by Stephen's giving two different porn names during different interviews, so he clarifies the difference.
12/14/2006
02:02

Letter to Representative Jack Kingston
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen admits it -- at the end of each week, he sends a letter to Rep. Jack Kingston telling him all the things he learned that week.
12/14/2006
00:40

Intro - 12/14/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: Who's responsible for losing the Iraq war (even though we're winning), the ethics of buying diamonds, and a drug advocate who knows the date of the end of the world.
12/14/2006
01:50

Blood in the Water - Bruce Tinsley's DUI
The Colbert ReportS2

Cartoonist Bruce Tinsley, who draws the comic strip "Mallard Fillmore," was arrested for DUI, and the left-wing media jumped all over it -- in that it was reported.
12/14/2006
02:29

The American People Are to Blame
The Colbert ReportS2

Tom DeLay says the will of the American people is no longer behind the war in Iraq and Stephen agrees -- the public should be ready to chew what the president has bitten off.
12/14/2006
01:30

Finger Strengthening
The Colbert ReportS2

The Decemberists stole Stephen's Green Screen Challenge, he called them out, and they challenged him to a guitar solo contest -- so he's been practicing.
12/14/2006
03:33

The Word - Clarity
The Colbert ReportS2

The Kimberly Process tracks diamonds from mine to store to make sure that incoming diamonds are conflict free -- until they reach married couples.
12/14/2006
01:22

The Jingle-Terns
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen tried to get holiday song artists, the Jingle Dogs on his show but it didn't work out. So, he presents the Jingle-Terns, his caroling inters.
12/18/2006
00:31

Intro - 12/18/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Dick Cheney says goodbye to Donald Rumsfeld, Stephen takes some time to discus art and gets an idea from former head of General Electric Jack Welch.
12/18/2006
06:27

Jack Welch
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks Jack Welch how he's making it on a fixed income and has him sign a copy of his book, "Winning," for his father-in-law.
12/18/2006
02:33

Profiles in Balls
The Colbert ReportS2

Dick Cheney had balls, but Nancy Pelosi doesn't -- although, she could.
12/18/2006
03:09

The Word - The Draft
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen feels the draft should be reinstated so that America can go back to the days of Vietnam when they hated protesters more than the war.
12/18/2006
01:41

DIY Cold Medicine
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen was sick all weekend and cold medicine wasn't doing the trick, so he reverse-engineered some crank and made some Sudafed which he snorted.
12/18/2006
03:44

Tip/Wag - Art Edition
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen tips his hat to the exhibition "Bodies" and wags his finger at Picasso, Rodin and Nazi gingerbread men.
12/18/2006
07:07

Deepak Chopra
The Colbert ReportS2

Deepak Chopra talks to Stephen about life after death, maintaining a youthful biology and his book, which costs 24 dollars.
12/19/2006
06:22

Stephen Goes to Harvard
The Colbert ReportS2

The election on his mind, Stephen takes a trip to Harvard University, where he sets the students of the John F. Kennedy School of Government straight.
12/19/2006
02:47

Person of the Year
The Colbert ReportS2

With the power of the Internet in their hands, the Colbert Nation has become Time Magazine's Person of the Year.
12/19/2006
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