The Colbert Report
The Word - Clarity
Season 2 • 12/14/2006
The only kind of conflict associated with a diamond should be the conflict of a married couple.
Intro - 12/13/06The Colbert ReportS2
Tonight: Stephen finds his long-lost eagle son, foreigners complain that Americans aren't polite, and Doris Kearns Goodwin finally gets to meet a historical figure in person.
Replenishing the Eggnog SupplyThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen stocks up the eggnog in December so he can nog out all year long. His doctor says he's got a mass of powdered nutmeg obstructing his lower intestine. Again.
Charge Me Twice for StephenThe Colbert ReportS2
The Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation is working with your local cable provider to bring The Report to the truly needy, and the truly needy to Stephen's advertisers.
Daniel PinchbeckThe Colbert ReportS2
Daniel Pinchbeck believes the Mayan god Quetzalcoatl is making a comeback. Stephen wants to know who he is and why we should be excited about him.
Caesar Honeybee or Tyrone Hunnibi?The Colbert ReportS2
Some viewers were confused by Stephen's giving two different porn names during different interviews, so he clarifies the difference.
Letter to Representative Jack KingstonThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen admits it -- at the end of each week, he sends a letter to Rep. Jack Kingston telling him all the things he learned that week.
Intro - 12/14/06The Colbert ReportS2
Tonight: Who's responsible for losing the Iraq war (even though we're winning), the ethics of buying diamonds, and a drug advocate who knows the date of the end of the world.
Blood in the Water - Bruce Tinsley's DUIThe Colbert ReportS2
Cartoonist Bruce Tinsley, who draws the comic strip "Mallard Fillmore," was arrested for DUI, and the left-wing media jumped all over it -- in that it was reported.
The American People Are to BlameThe Colbert ReportS2
Tom DeLay says the will of the American people is no longer behind the war in Iraq and Stephen agrees -- the public should be ready to chew what the president has bitten off.
Finger StrengtheningThe Colbert ReportS2
The Decemberists stole Stephen's Green Screen Challenge, he called them out, and they challenged him to a guitar solo contest -- so he's been practicing.
The Word - ClarityThe Colbert ReportS2
The Kimberly Process tracks diamonds from mine to store to make sure that incoming diamonds are conflict free -- until they reach married couples.
The Jingle-TernsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen tried to get holiday song artists, the Jingle Dogs on his show but it didn't work out. So, he presents the Jingle-Terns, his caroling inters.
Intro - 12/18/06The Colbert ReportS2
Dick Cheney says goodbye to Donald Rumsfeld, Stephen takes some time to discus art and gets an idea from former head of General Electric Jack Welch.
Jack WelchThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen asks Jack Welch how he's making it on a fixed income and has him sign a copy of his book, "Winning," for his father-in-law.
Profiles in BallsThe Colbert ReportS2
Dick Cheney had balls, but Nancy Pelosi doesn't -- although, she could.
The Word - The DraftThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen feels the draft should be reinstated so that America can go back to the days of Vietnam when they hated protesters more than the war.
DIY Cold MedicineThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen was sick all weekend and cold medicine wasn't doing the trick, so he reverse-engineered some crank and made some Sudafed which he snorted.
Tip/Wag - Art EditionThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen tips his hat to the exhibition "Bodies" and wags his finger at Picasso, Rodin and Nazi gingerbread men.
Deepak ChopraThe Colbert ReportS2
Deepak Chopra talks to Stephen about life after death, maintaining a youthful biology and his book, which costs 24 dollars.
Stephen Goes to HarvardThe Colbert ReportS2
The election on his mind, Stephen takes a trip to Harvard University, where he sets the students of the John F. Kennedy School of Government straight.
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