The Colbert Report
Tip/Wag - Mitt Romney
Season 3 • 05/14/2007
Stephen tells Mitt Romney that you should never apologize for your religion.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/10/07
In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with Rolling Stone Magazine founder Jann Wenner, and Japanese magicians sue TV stations for revealing their secrets.
The Colbert ReportS3 Hometown Hero Town - Naperville, IL
In Naperville, if you're too drunk to drive, you can get your car towed to your house.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Illusion
When someone reveals how things are done, we need to resist the impulse to understand the mystery.
The Colbert ReportS3 He's Singing in Korean
In order to reign in Korean pop star Rain, Stephen shows his own influential Korean R&B music video.
The Colbert ReportS3 The In-Box - Doctor Colbert
Dr. B. accuses Stephen of being irresponsible by posing as a medical professional.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/14/07
Stephen ponders President Bush's replacement for Tony Blair, the cool guy in movies becomes hard to find and William Langewiesche talks nuclear weapons.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Supporting Role
As the replacement for Tony Blair is considered, Stephen suggests someone with a good accent. Ian McKellen works because he makes things like the war sound smart.
The Colbert ReportS3 Stealing Lincoln's Body
Stephen gives detailed instruction for how to properly steal Abraham Lincoln's body and adds a moldering stovepipe hat to the bookshelf.
The Colbert ReportS3 William Langewiesche
William Langewiesche explains to Stephen why America shouldn't spend too much time worrying about other nations getting the nuclear bomb.
The Colbert ReportS3 Ferrari List
As Stephen was getting ready to buy a new Ferrari, he learned that there's a shortage and a waiting list. Luckily, he's next in line on a kidney list and willing to trade.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tip/Wag - Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney gets a wag of the finger for speaking out against polygamy while the Boston Pops get a tip of the hat for having audience members who rumble.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Michael Wiley
Triple amputee Michael Wiley tore down the wall of stereotype, showing that disabled people are not always nice, sweet and innocent, but mean and great at driving.
The Colbert ReportS3 Walter Isaacson
Walter Isaacson speaks to Stephen about Albert Einstein's rebellious childhood and how he used the Nobel Prize to get his wife to divorce him.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Heated Debate
Barry Lucier shouldn't be forced to watch movies he doesn't agree with -- college is not a place to learn new ideas.
The Colbert ReportS3 Pasadena, India
Stephen reports on the demise of the mainstream media with a story about two reporters in India who are covering local Pasadena news.
The Colbert ReportS3 Bonus Wag - Bush Graphic
Stephen gives a bonus wag to CNN International for airing a "Bush Resigns" graphic when they meant Tony Blair. He then shows us exactly how much time Bush has left in office.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/15/07
A college student objects to watching "An Inconvenient Truth," Stephen sees things in Wolf Blitzer's beard and Walter Isaacson joins Stephen to talk Einstein.
The Colbert ReportS3 R.I.P. Ted Maiman
Stephen pays tribute to Dr. Ted Maiman, the inventor of the first working laser. He honors him by letting him know that his ray of light was a true ray of light.
The Colbert ReportS3 McNulty Guilty
Stephen is so excited to announce that Deputy Attorney General Paul J. McNulty has resigned, he draws a Fu Manchu on his face.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Name of City Here
Stephen says goodnight to name of city here.
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