The Colbert Report
Intro - 4/24/07
Season 3 • 04/24/2007
Congress may install two new seats. Who will get the no-bid contract to install them?
The Colbert ReportS3 Mike Huckabee - Running Mate Bid
Mike Huckabee and Stephen talk about plastic fruit and rowing in paddleboats in Central Park.
The Colbert ReportS3 Colbert Nation Online Discussion Group
Stephen speaks to those interested in joining a Colbert Nation discussion group.
The Colbert ReportS3 Russell Simmons
Russell Simmons talks about Oprah, diamonds and the secret to success.
The Colbert ReportS3 D.C. Voting Rights - Eleanor Holmes Norton
Stephen tells Eleanor Holmes Norton that this is the United States of America, not the United Districts of Columbia of America.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Act Globally
According to the head of the EPA, George W. Bush is making major progress -- there is a 4/10ths of one percent reduction in the increase of greenhouse gasses.
The Colbert ReportS3 60% Good News
When Stephen watches "Fox & Friends," he feels like he's watching a Disney movie about the news.
The Colbert ReportS3 Dr. Andrew Weil
Dr. Andrew Weil tells Stephen that it's possible to channel his rage in a useful way and that he finds Dr. House to be too cynical.
The Colbert ReportS3 Bye-Bye to Boris
Russia's first democratically elected President, Boris Yeltsin, has passed away and the New York Post has paid tribute with their usual class and sensitivity.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Captain Lead
Stephen reminisces about his favorite childhood toys: Captain Lead, General Light Socket, Admiral Dry Cleaning Bag, Lieutenant Fluffy -- and his wad of asbestos.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Uncle Ben
After 61 years, Uncle Ben is now not only spokesman of his products but CEO of the company.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/24/07
Stephen discusses President Bush's fight against global warming and the two seats being considered for Congress, and sits down with new age medical guru Dr. Andrew Weil.
The Colbert ReportS3 New Issue of GQ
Stephen expects the new issue of GQ with him on the cover to be the most popular issue they've ever had.
The Colbert ReportS3 Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-Calypse - Prayer
People don't develop special powers, they pray for them. The only reason Superman can fly is because Jesus is carrying him.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Sacrifice
Stephen supports enlisting illegal immigrants in the war in Iraq, simultaneously bolstering our fighting forces and solving our immigration dilemma.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Promises
Stephen doesn't want to make any promises he can't keep, but he'll see you tomorrow night.
The Colbert ReportS3 Dead to Me - Long War
Good news -- the long war in Iraq is over! That is, the use of the phrase 'Long War' is over thanks to Admiral William J. Fallon.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/25/07
America faces a troop shortage, Stephen unleashes on pop culture, and the U.S. Comptroller General David Walker talks with Stephen about the national debt.
The Colbert ReportS3 David Walker
Accountant David Walker warns of a 50 trillion dollar deficit and Stephen asks if his haircut can be a tax write off.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tom Wolfe
Stephen disagrees with new journalism because he believes people want entertaining journalism, not factual journalism.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/26/07
The U.S. Army's constructing walls in Iraq, Stephen gets to know Guam better, and author Tom Wolfe talks about journalism.
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