The Colbert Report
Season 7 • 08/03/2011
Robert Wittman goes undercover to recover stolen artwork around the world.
America's Credit GratingThe Colbert ReportS7
America should handle credit ratings agencies the way it does all terrorists: by marching the marines into their offices and whisking them off to Gitmo.
Newt Gingrich's Twitter ScandalThe Colbert ReportS7
Allegations arise that 80% of Newt Gingrich's Twitter followers aren't real, but making up people may be the key to keeping his campaign alive.
Al HuntThe Colbert ReportS7
Bloomberg News' Al Hunt believes Barack Obama lost the debt ceiling negotiation, but he doesn't think the Republicans won.
Sign Off - GoodnightThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen shoots WristStrong bands into the audience and says goodnight.
Baby Teeth EconomyThe Colbert ReportS7
In order to get the soft tooth market back up, kids must reduce baby teeth inventory and stop losing teeth.
Sign Off - Official Flag UpdaterThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen considers the legitimacy of the states in his American flag sampler.
ThreatDown - Fake States, Sharia Weather & MonopolyThe Colbert ReportS7
The state of North Dakota may not exist, subversive weather blows into Arizona, and the classic American game of anti-trust law violation gets a makeover.
Women's Health-Nazi PlanThe Colbert ReportS7
Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites.
Intro - 8/3/11The Colbert ReportS7
An old kids' game gets updated, the government gives women new health guidelines, and Robert Wittman investigates art crime.
Multiracial Spider-ManThe Colbert ReportS7
A half-black, half-Hispanic Spider-Man replaces a dead Peter Parker, setting a terrible precedent for superhero diversity.
Robert WittmanThe Colbert ReportS7
Art crime investigator Robert Wittman recovers stolen paintings around the world and explains the challenges of museum security.
Intro - 8/4/11The Colbert ReportS7
Somebody snuck a vegetable into Wisconsin, baseball's cherished records face a threat, and Anthony Bourdain travels the world in search of great food.
Wisconsin's Recall Election & Americans for Prosperity's Absentee Ballot TyposThe Colbert ReportS7
The Koch brothers-funded Americans for Prosperity PAC sends absentee ballot applications with minor inaccuracies to Wisconsin's Democratic districts.
Anthony BourdainThe Colbert ReportS7
Chef Anthony Bourdain worries about the ballooning of Americans and occasionally eats endangered birds with a hood over his head.
Barack Obama's 50th BirthdayThe Colbert ReportS7
Barack Obama throws himself a lavish birthday party instead of working on the economy, so the recession will last four hours longer.
Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records & MLB's Twitter FeedThe Colbert ReportS7
Two of the grid diamond's lowest records might fall, and MLB gets in on gambling, giving Stephen control of their Twitter feed.
Colbert Super PAC - The Heroes RespondThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen calls on the Colbert Nation to send in more suggestions for the direction of his Super PAC, in addition to more money.
Colbert Super PAC - Rick Perry for PresidentThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen already licked the Rick Perry for President donut, so all the other Super PAC bitches better back off.
Nassir GhaemiThe Colbert ReportS7
Psychiatrist Nassir Ghaemi believes that mental illness can foster great leadership, but the Republican presidential candidates are too "normal."
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