The Colbert Report

Cheating Death - Clenched Fingers & Pill Reminder

Season 6 • 03/18/2010

An enzyme derived from gangrene is used to straighten clenched fingers and treat bent penises.

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05:47

The Colbert ReportS6
Rebecca Skloot

Rebecca Skloot discusses Henrietta Lacks, whose cells were the first to be immortal and commercialized.
03/16/2010
05:01

The Colbert ReportS6
Nell Irvin Painter

Nell Irvin Painter debates the meaning of white people and arm-wrestles Stephen over the Scots-Irish.
03/17/2010
04:47

The Colbert ReportS6
Sport Report - Vasectomies, Chess Boxing & Golf

Doctors offer March Madness vasectomy deals, chess players punch opponents in the face, and Tiger Woods hires Ari Fleischer.
03/17/2010
00:05

The Colbert ReportS6
Sign Off - Goodnight

That's it for The Report, everybody.
03/17/2010
06:40

The Colbert ReportS6
United States Census 2010

Stephen reluctantly fills out his census form so the military won't target a Predator drone missile at his house.
03/17/2010
03:14

The Colbert ReportS6
Ireland's Shamrock Shortage

Stephen finds a shamrock replacement under some grow lights in his neighbor's backyard shed.
03/17/2010
00:03

The Colbert ReportS6
Sign Off - Goodnight

That's it for The Report, everybody.
03/18/2010
07:03

The Colbert ReportS6
Glenn Beck Attacks Social Justice - James Martin

James Martin works with the poor because he believes in capitalism, but he knows it doesn't provide for everyone.
03/18/2010
02:22

The Colbert ReportS6
Middle Eastern Dogs

Fundamentalist Fidos have infiltrated our borders and are lifting their legs on Lady Liberty.
03/18/2010
05:15

The Colbert ReportS6
Mary Matalin

Mary Matalin attempts to explain the Republican position on health care without using talking points.
03/18/2010
05:32

The Colbert ReportS6
Cheating Death - Clenched Fingers & Pill Reminder

An enzyme derived from gangrene treats clenched fingers, and an Internet-connected cap reminds you to take your pills.
03/18/2010
05:11

The Colbert ReportS6
Claire McCaskill

Claire McCaskill praises the health care reform bill and sends a message to Rush Limbaugh in Costa Rica.
03/29/2010
02:57

The Colbert ReportS6
Passover Dinner With Elijah

Stephen buys the most expensive bottle of Manischewitz for his Passover dinner with Elijah.
03/29/2010
04:05

The Colbert ReportS6
Geriatric Breeding Program

Stephen will capture and breed the elderly in captivity to save the senior population from vultures.
03/29/2010
00:04

The Colbert ReportS6
Sign Off - Friedrich Schiller

Stephen quotes Friedrich Schiller as he says goodnight.
03/29/2010
04:24

The Colbert ReportS6
Passover Commercialism

Jewish families embrace the Christmas spirit of commercialism with "Jewpardy" and the Ten Plagues Finger Puppets.
03/29/2010
03:23

The Colbert ReportS6
The Word - Napoleon Blown Apart

The Republicans may have lost the health care fight, but that sets them up for real victory in November.
03/29/2010
04:33

The Colbert ReportS6
The Word - Forgive and Forget

If the pope is responsible for a sex abuse cover-up, the Catholic Church needs to reassign him to a religion where nobody knows him.
03/30/2010
02:52

The Colbert ReportS6
Ricky Martin Is Gay

Stephen dismissed the rumors that Ricky Martin was gay back when he was a local anchor at WPTS Patterson Springs.
03/30/2010
05:22

The Colbert ReportS6
Thought for Food - Corn Diapers, Fatty Foods & Jamie Oliver

Babies can now poop in corn diapers, junk food is addictive, and Jamie Oliver shows American kids how chicken nuggets are made.
03/30/2010
00:14

The Colbert ReportS6
Sign Off - Pringles & Whipped Cream

Stephen signs off with his Pringles and whipped cream snack.
03/30/2010
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