The Colbert Report

Cheating Death - Clenched Fingers & Pill Reminder

Season 6 • 03/18/2010

An enzyme derived from gangrene is used to straighten clenched fingers and treat bent penises.

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05:47

Rebecca Skloot
The Colbert ReportS6

Rebecca Skloot discusses Henrietta Lacks, whose cells were the first to be immortal and commercialized.
03/16/2010
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05:01

Nell Irvin Painter
The Colbert ReportS6

Nell Irvin Painter debates the meaning of white people and arm-wrestles Stephen over the Scots-Irish.
03/17/2010
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04:47

Sport Report - Vasectomies, Chess Boxing & Golf
The Colbert ReportS6

Doctors offer March Madness vasectomy deals, chess players punch opponents in the face, and Tiger Woods hires Ari Fleischer.
03/17/2010
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00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS6

That's it for The Report, everybody.
03/17/2010
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06:40

United States Census 2010
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen reluctantly fills out his census form so the military won't target a Predator drone missile at his house.
03/17/2010
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03:14

Ireland's Shamrock Shortage
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen finds a shamrock replacement under some grow lights in his neighbor's backyard shed.
03/17/2010
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00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS6

That's it for The Report, everybody.
03/18/2010
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07:03

Glenn Beck Attacks Social Justice - James Martin
The Colbert ReportS6

James Martin works with the poor because he believes in capitalism, but he knows it doesn't provide for everyone.
03/18/2010
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02:22

Middle Eastern Dogs
The Colbert ReportS6

Fundamentalist Fidos have infiltrated our borders and are lifting their legs on Lady Liberty.
03/18/2010
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05:15

Mary Matalin
The Colbert ReportS6

Mary Matalin attempts to explain the Republican position on health care without using talking points.
03/18/2010
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05:32

Cheating Death - Clenched Fingers & Pill Reminder
The Colbert ReportS6

An enzyme derived from gangrene treats clenched fingers, and an Internet-connected cap reminds you to take your pills.
03/18/2010
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05:11

Claire McCaskill
The Colbert ReportS6

Claire McCaskill praises the health care reform bill and sends a message to Rush Limbaugh in Costa Rica.
03/29/2010
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02:57

Passover Dinner With Elijah
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen buys the most expensive bottle of Manischewitz for his Passover dinner with Elijah.
03/29/2010
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04:05

Geriatric Breeding Program
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen will capture and breed the elderly in captivity to save the senior population from vultures.
03/29/2010
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00:04

Sign Off - Friedrich Schiller
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen quotes Friedrich Schiller as he says goodnight.
03/29/2010
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04:24

Passover Commercialism
The Colbert ReportS6

Jewish families embrace the Christmas spirit of commercialism with "Jewpardy" and the Ten Plagues Finger Puppets.
03/29/2010
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03:23

The Word - Napoleon Blown Apart
The Colbert ReportS6

The Republicans may have lost the health care fight, but that sets them up for real victory in November.
03/29/2010
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04:33

The Word - Forgive and Forget
The Colbert ReportS6

If the pope is responsible for a sex abuse cover-up, the Catholic Church needs to reassign him to a religion where nobody knows him.
03/30/2010
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02:52

Ricky Martin Is Gay
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen dismissed the rumors that Ricky Martin was gay back when he was a local anchor at WPTS Patterson Springs.
03/30/2010
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05:22

Thought for Food - Corn Diapers, Fatty Foods & Jamie Oliver
The Colbert ReportS6

Babies can now poop in corn diapers, junk food is addictive, and Jamie Oliver shows American kids how chicken nuggets are made.
03/30/2010
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00:14

Sign Off - Pringles & Whipped Cream
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen signs off with his Pringles and whipped cream snack.
03/30/2010
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