The Colbert Report

Intro - 7/21/09

Season 5 • 07/21/2009

Stephen will be the mighty oak in his investigation of Acorn.

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00:04

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report.
07/20/2009
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05:20

Sport Report - Jessica Simpson, Olympic Brothel & Bud Light
The Colbert ReportS5

Tony Romo breaks up with Jessica Simpson, an Olympic hopeful opens a brothel, and Stephen loves the taste of Bud Light.
07/20/2009
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03:57

Reverse Racism - Geoffrey Canada
The Colbert ReportS5

Geoffrey Canada can't find any area where white men are being disproportionately victimized.
07/20/2009
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05:14

Bob Park
The Colbert ReportS5

Bob Park doesn't understand why humans need go to space when robots can do a better job.
07/20/2009
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02:58

Reverse Racism
The Colbert ReportS5

As a recent black man, Stephen looks forward to hearing President Obama's NAACP speech.
07/20/2009
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03:31

The Word - A Perfect World
The Colbert ReportS5

Investigating prisoner abuse will be a political food fight, and that is messier than torture.
07/21/2009
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06:44

Better Know a Lobby - Acorn
The Colbert ReportS5

Acorn's chief community organizer, Bertha Lewis, needs to know the number of Stephen's sexual partners for her census form.
07/21/2009
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00:16

Sign Off - Stephen's Chip
The Colbert ReportS5

The opinions expressed tonight are exclusively Stephen's -- the chip in his head only makes suggestions.
07/21/2009
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06:16

Aaron Carroll
The Colbert ReportS5

Aaron Carroll believes the single-payer system will cost less, cover everyone and lead to better outcomes.
07/21/2009
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02:32

40th Anniversary of the Moon Landing
The Colbert ReportS5

To celebrate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, Stephen re-airs his historic broadcast from July 20, 1969.
07/21/2009
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00:32

Intro - 7/21/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen will be the mighty oak when he investigates Acorn, and Aaron Carroll believes America should have a single-payer system.
07/21/2009
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03:09

Sniper Trifle
The Colbert ReportS5

The only huge surprise about Dick Cheney having his own secret assassination squad is that it didn't include cannibalism.
07/22/2009
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00:35

Intro - 7/22/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The truth behind the CIA's secret assassination squad is revealed, and Chris Anderson talks about a future economy where everything is free.
07/22/2009
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06:03

Chris Anderson
The Colbert ReportS5

Chris Anderson explains how it's possible for companies to make money by providing free services.
07/22/2009
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04:17

Pope Wrist Watch
The Colbert ReportS5

The best way to spread wrist awareness is by getting a WristStrong bracelet to Pope Benedict XVI.
07/22/2009
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03:11

Sniper Trifle - Matthew Waxman
The Colbert ReportS5

Matthew Waxman discusses the legal argument over whether to alert Congress about certain covert action programs.
07/22/2009
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02:40

The Longest Solar Eclipse of the Century
The Colbert ReportS5

Xenu returned Asia's sun, but he will devour it again unless India returns America's outsourced jobs and China forgives the national debt.
07/22/2009
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00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
07/22/2009
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04:51

Zev Chafets
The Colbert ReportS5

Zev Chafets doesn't have a problem with steroid use in baseball, but he is concerned about its cover-up.
07/23/2009
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00:12

Sign Off - TiVo
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen doesn't want to know how the show ends because he's TiVo'ing it.
07/23/2009
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05:45

Health Care Hell-Scare - Die-agnosis: Mur-DR
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen invites expert victims from Canada, France and Spain to relay their horrible experiences of socialized medicine.
07/23/2009
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