The Colbert Report
Cheney's Secret Assassination Squad
Season 5 • 04/02/2009
It's not surprising Dick Cheney had a band of executioners taking orders from their dark overlord.
The Colbert ReportS5 Hide-and-Seek
Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Fine Line
The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/1/09
The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & Colonoscopies
A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
The Colbert ReportS5 French Worker Protests
Once again, Americans are going to have to show the French how it is done, just like with the mustache.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/2/09
President Obama meets with the president of Russia. The big question: what was Michelle wearing?
The Colbert ReportS5 Merriam-Webster's Word's Worth
Stephen won't let Merriam-Webster engayify other straight words like "drag," "bear" and "Manwich."
The Colbert ReportS5 Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & Space
Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
The Colbert ReportS5 Let Your GPS Be Your Guide
Let your conscience be your guide until you can afford a GPS.
The Colbert ReportS5 Biz Stone
Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, one of America's preeminent Twits, discusses the company's popularity and business model.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheney's Secret Assassination Squad
It's hard to believe Dick Cheney had the time to command a secret lawless assassination squad with all the secret lawless torture.
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Urine Recycling Room
NASA, don't make Stephen launch an intern into space with a can of spray paint.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/6/09
Barack Obama travels around Europe, and new developments arise in the NASA node-naming contest.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama's European Trip - Tom Brokaw
Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
The Colbert ReportS5 Un-American News - Rest of the World
Stephen loves Barack Obama, at least until he returns to the United States.
The Colbert ReportS5 Make Lemonade
If life gives you lemons, water, sugar and ice, make lemonade.
The Colbert ReportS5 Body Loss
Getting paid for missing body parts is too tempting for Americans.
The Colbert ReportS5 Rich Lowry
Rich Lowry wants Republican principles to stay the same, but the application to change.
The Colbert ReportS5 Queen Noor's Royal Treatment
To make sure Stephen doesn't violate any royalty protocol, he's going to wear surgical gloves.
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