The Colbert Report
Tip/Wag - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Season 3 • 07/18/2007
If immigrants want to learn English, they need to watch American television.
The Word - McConaugheyThe Colbert ReportS3
The untamable Matthew McConaughey doesn't have responsibilities or even a shirt.
Intro - 7/18/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen broadcasted his show for 24 hours straight in solidarity with Republicans during their forced overnight debate in the Senate.
Intro - 6/18/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen talks about Matthew McConaughey being named People Magazine's "Hottest Bachelor," discusses how 68% of Republicans don't believe in evolution and interviews country music star Toby Keith.
The Price is RightThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen suggests that Bob Barker become the president of the World Bank.
Toby KeithThe Colbert ReportS3
The outspoken country music artist speaks with Stephen about the Colbert Bump on iTunes and the mutual benefits of being friends with each other.
Papal EncounterThe Colbert ReportS3
USA Today printed a picture that looks like the pope is about to make out with a hot pilgrim lady.
The Word - Smiley FaceThe Colbert ReportS3
How could kittens fall asleep in a world where Iraq was not on its way toward becoming a democracy?
2007 FilibustacularThe Colbert ReportS3
Although Stephen broadcasted The Report for 24-hours straight, Comedy Central cut him off at midnight.
John MellencampThe Colbert ReportS3
John Mellencamp may be for peace, but he is no pacifist.
Alpha Dog of the Week - David BeckhamThe Colbert ReportS3
It takes alpha-sized man-crumpets to drum up coverage and cash, and then not do the one thing that is theoretically interesting about you.
Tip/Wag - Arnold SchwarzeneggerThe Colbert ReportS3
American television will teach immigrants all the necessary phrases like, "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?" and "Dy-no-mite!"
Pope Goes GreenThe Colbert ReportS3
The Pope must provide us with consistent, infallible declarations on how to live our daily lives.
Stephen on iTunesThe Colbert ReportS3
Check out music reviews on the iTunes Store from the actual Stephen Colbert.
Sign Off - Length of the Show ContestThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen congratulates the winner of his "Guess the Length of the Show" contest, who won with a guess of 30 minutes.
March to Enslavement - Stephen Gets an iPhoneThe Colbert ReportS3
After months of begging -- with dignity -- Stephen finally gets a free iPhone.
Michael MooreThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen isn't comfortable sitting that close to Michael Moore.
Frank SullowayThe Colbert ReportS3
Frank Sulloway's research indicates that elder siblings have a greater chance of being the smarter sibling. As the youngest of 11, Stephen takes issue with that.
Republican Candidates' SufferingThe Colbert ReportS3
John McCain's "Straight Talk Express" hit a few bumps in the road, most of which turned out to be former passengers.
Intro - 7/19/07The Colbert ReportS3
Michael Moore criticizes health care, Stephen launches a new segment about emerging technologies, and guest Frank Sulloway wants attention from his parents.
Sign Off - Just About Out of TimeThe Colbert ReportS3
The Report is just about out of time. Or, to be exact, it was just about out of time a moment ago.
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