The Colbert Report

The Memy Awards

Season 5 • 07/16/2009

Stephen announces his very own Memy Awards for everyone who deserves recognition.

More

Watching

05:58

The Colbert ReportS5
Douglas Rushkoff

Douglas Rushkoff discusses the downfalls of operating the world like a corporation and how to weaken corporate influence.
07/15/2009
03:48

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - Assassination Squads, Biblical History & Gay Penguins

The CIA shuts down its assassination program, Texas wants Christianity taught in history, and two male penguins end their relationship.
07/15/2009
03:30

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen Wants to Be the Worst Person in the World

Stephen tries to make it onto Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" list by slapping a baby with a puppy.
07/15/2009
00:23

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 7/15/09

There's bad news for people with target-shaped birthmarks, and Douglas Rushkoff lets Jews and Freemasons off the hook.
07/15/2009
00:13

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - No Man Is a Failure

No man is a failure who has friends, unless his friends are failures.
07/15/2009
05:16

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Neutral Man's Burden

Sonia Sotomayor's personal background should be neutralized the way Band-Aids were when they reached out to minorities.
07/16/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 7/16/09

Stephen is emotionally dead inside, and Ed Andrews should write about teen vampires if he wants to get out of debt.
07/16/2009
04:45

The Colbert ReportS5
Edmund Andrews

Edmund Andrews explains how he fell victim to the mortgage crisis as a New York Times economics reporter.
07/16/2009
05:28

The Colbert ReportS5
Cheating Death - Diabetes Dogs, Chocolate Milk & Swearing in Pain

Dogs help fight diabetes, chocolate milk replaces sports drinks, and swearing after an injury alleviates pain.
07/16/2009
00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Stephen Wins

If you've had half as much fun watching the show as Stephen has had doing it, then he's had twice as much fun.
07/16/2009
03:14

The Colbert ReportS5
The Memy Awards

Stephen announces the nominees for the Memy Awards' one and only category: Outstanding Individual.
07/16/2009
02:27

The Colbert ReportS5
Walter Cronkite Remembered

Walter Cronkite's passing doesn't get the kind of cable news attention Stephen believes it deserves.
07/20/2009
00:04

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Goodnight

That's it for The Report.
07/20/2009
05:20

The Colbert ReportS5
Sport Report - Jessica Simpson, Olympic Brothel & Bud Light

Tony Romo breaks up with Jessica Simpson, an Olympic hopeful opens a brothel, and Stephen loves the taste of Bud Light.
07/20/2009
03:57

The Colbert ReportS5
Reverse Racism - Geoffrey Canada

Geoffrey Canada can't find any area where white men are being disproportionately victimized.
07/20/2009
05:14

The Colbert ReportS5
Bob Park

Bob Park doesn't understand why humans need go to space when robots can do a better job.
07/20/2009
02:58

The Colbert ReportS5
Reverse Racism

As a recent black man, Stephen looks forward to hearing President Obama's NAACP speech.
07/20/2009
03:31

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - A Perfect World

Investigating prisoner abuse will be a political food fight, and that is messier than torture.
07/21/2009
06:44

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a Lobby - Acorn

Acorn's chief community organizer, Bertha Lewis, needs to know the number of Stephen's sexual partners for her census form.
07/21/2009
00:16

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Stephen's Chip

The opinions expressed tonight are exclusively Stephen's -- the chip in his head only makes suggestions.
07/21/2009
06:16

The Colbert ReportS5
Aaron Carroll

Aaron Carroll believes the single-payer system will cost less, cover everyone and lead to better outcomes.
07/21/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:50

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in Cursed Friends, premiering October 8 at 8/7c.
09/28/2022
Trailer
01:22

Out of Office
Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity

A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
Trailer
00:30

Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out the NewsS1
Tooning Out the News Is Coming to Comedy Central

Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out the News, the critically acclaimed animated news series, is moving to Comedy Central starting October 5 after The Daily Show.
09/16/2022
Trailer
00:35

South ParkS25
A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert

Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022
Trailer
00:29

Hot Mess Holiday
Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday

Melanie Chandra and Surina Jindal embark on a zany weekend adventure during Diwali in the Comedy Central original movie Hot Mess Holiday, now streaming.
12/20/2021