The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Buddy System
Season 5 • 10/08/2009
Stephen wants you to pair up so nobody gets lost.
Intro - 10/7/09The Colbert ReportS5
Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Eye ToothThe Colbert ReportS5
Doctors enable a blind woman to see again by jamming her own tooth into her eye.
Sign Off - Jasper T. JowlsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen accidentally lapses into his old routine as the voice of an animatronic banjo dog at Chuck E. Cheese's.
Tip/Wag - Conservapedia, Louvre & Honda UnicycleThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants to be a biblical figure on Conservapedia, the Louvre announces its plans to install a McDonald's, and Honda introduces a unicycle of the future.
Alison GopnikThe Colbert ReportS5
Alison Gopnik says babies are already as smart as they can be and have incredibly powerful ways of learning about the world.
Kevin the Iranian InternThe Colbert ReportS5
An Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the U.S., and Stephen introduces his new intern, Kevin.
Sport Report - Rush Limbaugh & Ted Williams' Frozen HeadThe Colbert ReportS5
Rush Limbaugh makes a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, and cryogenics employees play baseball with Ted Williams' frozen head.
Colin BeavanThe Colbert ReportS5
Colin Beavan spent a year making no environmental impact in the hope of finding a way to live that's better for the planet.
Bend It Like BeckThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity.
Intro - 10/8/09The Colbert ReportS5
The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.
Sign Off - Buddy SystemThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants you to pair up until he sees you again in 72 hours.
Happy Columbus DayThe Colbert ReportS5
In exchange for spices from the West Indies, Christopher Columbus gave the natives discount mattresses and smallpox.
Fallback Position - James BlakeThe Colbert ReportS5
James Blake overcomes Stephen's total lack of athletic ability to transform him into a tennis champion.
War of Peace - Shashi TharoorThe Colbert ReportS5
Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
Sign Off - Thanks to the GuestsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen thanks Shashi Tharoor, James Blake and Sanjay Gupta for being his guests.
Intro - 10/12/09The Colbert ReportS5
The world has a peace prize in its pocket for Barack Obama, Dr. Sanjay Gupta keeps Larry King "live," and Stephen looks for a backup job.
Sanjay GuptaThe Colbert ReportS5
Sanjay Gupta wants to intervene in the process of death and possibly reverse it.
Sylvia EarleThe Colbert ReportS5
Sylvia Earle stresses the importance of doing everything we can to protect the ocean and restore health to the system that takes care of us.
Sign Off - GmailThe Colbert ReportS5
If you're watching on a computer, open up Gmail so Stephen can check some messages.
The Word - Symbol-MindedThe Colbert ReportS5
The cross has nothing to do with Christianity -- it's just the normal symbol of the resting place of the dead. Download The Word NOW!
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