The Colbert Report
Tell Your Friends
Season 5 • 02/04/2009
If you liked what you saw, tell your friends.
Henry Louis Gates, Jr.The Colbert ReportS5
Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.
All the Show We Have Time ForThe Colbert ReportS5
Fortunately, it's also all the time we have show for.
Colbert Platinum - Ass-Covering EditionThe Colbert ReportS5
If you really want to convince people you're dead, you need to actually die.
Tom Daschle Steps DownThe Colbert ReportS5
If this were the Bush administration, Tom Daschle would have never stepped down -- not without a medal of freedom.
The Word - Army of OneThe Colbert ReportS5
If Republicans do what Rush Limbaugh says, they'll get the only vote that matters: his.
Intro - 2/3/09The Colbert ReportS5
Republicans choose a new leader. Don't worry -- they're the same old ideas.
Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - The Newberry AwardsThe Colbert ReportS5
Al Gore has already won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Nobel Prize and the 2000 presidential election -- he doesn't need a Grammy.
Intro - 2/4/09The Colbert ReportS5
Pope Benedict reinstates a Holocaust-denying bishop. Frankly, Stephen is skeptical of the evidence that he actually reinstated him.
Stephen Verbally Thrashes Steve MartinThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen explodes after Steve Martin walks through his eyeline.
Yahweh or No Way - The Super BowlThe Colbert ReportS5
God helping both teams in a football game would be as impossible as loving both Christians and Muslims.
Tell Your FriendsThe Colbert ReportS5
If you didn't like what you saw, Stephen will tell your enemies.
Keep Your Friends CloseThe Colbert ReportS5
You can keep your enemies closer by hating yourself.
Intro - 2/5/09The Colbert ReportS5
What's in the stimulus package? Stephen's guessing high-fructose corn syrup because that stuff is in everything.
Stelephant Colbert the Elephant SealThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen has a hideous elephant seal named after him.
Alpha Dog of the Week - Boy Scouts of AmericaThe Colbert ReportS5
The Boy Scouts of America proudly raise the Scout sign and tell their own conservation code to read between the lines.
Jonah LehrerThe Colbert ReportS5
Jonah Lehrer talks about finding a balance between the rational and the emotional in decision-making.
Economic Stimulus Bill - James SurowieckiThe Colbert ReportS5
James Surowiecki says the Democrats are using the financial crisis to push through programs that are in the long-term interest of Americans.
Economic Stimulus DebateThe Colbert ReportS5
Democrats take a page from the Republicans' fear book when selling the economic stimulus bill.
Intro - 2/9/09The Colbert ReportS5
A married lesbian couple files for divorce and moves into separate Subaru Outbacks, and someone won a Grammy.
The New Word CzarThe Colbert ReportS5
Michael Steele navigates the subtleties of our language as he talks about the stimulus bill.
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