The Colbert Report
Season 2 • 07/17/2006
Good reporting is putting press releases into your own words.
ThreatDown - Gay ClonesThe Colbert ReportS2
The guy who played Anakin Beefstroker in "Sperm Wars II: Attack of the Bones" was actually better than Hayden Christensen.
The Word - InquisitionThe Colbert ReportS2
Connecticut, you chose Joe Lieberman in 1988; you can't just say 'oops, I made a mistake' and elect another Democrat.
TV's New LowThe Colbert ReportS2
If you aren't watching The Colbert Report because you're busy guarding our borders, you can buy 16 episodes on iTunes for $9.99.
Ron SuskindThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen explains to author Ron Suskind that if we didn't invade someone, we would have tripped over our preparedness.
Sign Off - LemonsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen reminds everyone that if God gives you lemons, you must be a bad person.
Lee SilverThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen makes sure Princeton professor Lee Silver knows that he doesn't know more than Stephen does about genetic engineering.
Intro - 7/17/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen talks about the crisis in the Middle East, reports on Arizona's new voting proposal, and interviews author Lee Silver.
The Word - T & AThe Colbert ReportS2
There's only one thing that truly unites mankind -- the objectification of womankind.
Tip/Wag - ArizonaThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen tips his hat to Iraqi television, Wal-Mart and aliens, and wags his finger at the state of Arizona and Wal-Mart.
One American DollarThe Colbert ReportS2
Don't send Stephen Colbert $50, because that won't get you a durable, sporty Colbert Report tote bag -- which also doesn't come in red.
Microphone OnThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen didn't realize his microphone was on, and now his comments have been misinterpreted.
Column WidthThe Colbert ReportS2
The New York Times announces they're reducing the width of their newspaper by an inch and a half -- that's an inch and a half less of state secrets revealed everyday.
The Word - SolidarityThe Colbert ReportS2
It's time for management and labor to come together as management to exploit labor.
WWIIIThe Colbert ReportS2
If everything is still in existence by this time next week, Stephen is going to be very upset.
Dhani JonesThe Colbert ReportS2
Dhani Jones has the ability to be a mindless crushing machine, and yet he chooses to read poetry and listen to classical music.
Try at GoodbyeThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen has never been very good at goodbyes, but he's going to try.
Stephen Colbert's Problems Without Solutions - BearsThe Colbert ReportS2
This special report investigates the sources of a tragic and dangerous delusion.
Intro - 7/18/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen takes us inside the world of bears, linebackers and poets.
The Word - R-E-S-P-E-C-TThe Colbert ReportS2
The NAACP is prejudging the president solely based on what he's done.
The Convenientest TruthThe Colbert ReportS2
Al Gore says global warming means the world is coming to an end, but Stephen says the world is just coming to a new beginning.
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