The Colbert Report
Barack Obama's 50th Birthday
Season 7 • 08/04/2011
Barack Obama has selfishly celebrated a birthday during every crisis for the last 50 years.
The Colbert ReportS7 Women's Health-Nazi Plan
Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 8/3/11
An old kids' game gets updated, the government gives women new health guidelines, and Robert Wittman investigates art crime.
The Colbert ReportS7 Robert Wittman
Art crime investigator Robert Wittman recovers stolen paintings around the world and explains the challenges of museum security.
The Colbert ReportS7 Multiracial Spider-Man
A half-black, half-Hispanic Spider-Man replaces a dead Peter Parker, setting a terrible precedent for superhero diversity.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 8/4/11
Somebody snuck a vegetable into Wisconsin, baseball's cherished records face a threat, and Anthony Bourdain travels the world in search of great food.
The Colbert ReportS7 Wisconsin's Recall Election & Americans for Prosperity's Absentee Ballot Typos
The Koch brothers-funded Americans for Prosperity PAC sends absentee ballot applications with minor inaccuracies to Wisconsin's Democratic districts.
The Colbert ReportS7 Anthony Bourdain
Chef Anthony Bourdain worries about the ballooning of Americans and occasionally eats endangered birds with a hood over his head.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records & MLB's Twitter Feed
Two of the grid diamond's lowest records might fall, and MLB gets in on gambling, giving Stephen control of their Twitter feed.
The Colbert ReportS7 Colbert Super PAC - The Heroes Respond
Stephen calls on the Colbert Nation to send in more suggestions for the direction of his Super PAC, in addition to more money.
The Colbert ReportS7 Barack Obama's 50th Birthday
Barack Obama throws himself a lavish birthday party instead of working on the economy, so the recession will last four hours longer.
The Colbert ReportS7 Colbert Super PAC - Rick Perry for President
Stephen already licked the Rick Perry for President donut, so all the other Super PAC bitches better back off.
The Colbert ReportS7 Nassir Ghaemi
Psychiatrist Nassir Ghaemi believes that mental illness can foster great leadership, but the Republican presidential candidates are too "normal."
The Colbert ReportS7 America's Credit Downgrade
The credit downgrade reduces Americans to waffle-eating Kiwis who put mayonnaise on their French fries and have a serious Hobbit infestation.
The Colbert ReportS7 Doomsday Bargain Bunkers
With three doomsday believers to a room, Vivos economy-class underground bunkers are like freshman year at Bob Jones University.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Stephen Sniffs a Marker
Stephen gets high off a Sharpie and says goodnight.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 8/9/11
Record temperatures sweep the heartland, the Internet doesn't make for better human beings, and legendary rockers The Cars perform.
The Colbert ReportS7 The Word - Head in the Cloud
Technology turns people into empty flesh terminals that rely on it for all their ideas, memories and relationships.
The Colbert ReportS7 Heatsteria
Part-time weather balloon Rush Limbaugh exposes the government-manufactured heat index conspiracy, while SpongeBob brainwashes kids with global warming propaganda.
The Colbert ReportS7 Ric Ocasek
The Cars' Ric Ocasek remembers the '80s music scene and promises Stephen any future Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Awards.
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