The Colbert Report
Stephen Settles the Debate - Whales and Cod vs. Polar Bears and Seal Hunters
Season 1 • 10/19/2005
The melting ice cap may threaten the lives of seals and the livelihoods of seal hunters.
Sign Off - A Fax From James BradyThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen reads a faxed threat that he received from James Brady, a longtime supporter of gun control.
Lesley StahlThe Colbert ReportS1
Award-winning journalist Lesley Stahl discusses Watergate, the Valerie Plame scandal and a new strategy for "60 Minutes."
All You Need to Know - Illegal ImmigrationThe Colbert ReportS1
Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff vows to remove undocumented immigrants from the U.S., and the new Danish prince gets some advice.
Better Know a District - Georgia's 1st - Jack KingstonThe Colbert ReportS1
Congressman Jack Kingston chats about living in Ethiopia as a child, his experiences in a fraternity and his favorite "Seinfeld" episode.
Intro - 10/19/05The Colbert ReportS1
A dictator gets his day in court, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are in the family way, and Fareed Zakaria discusses foreign affairs.
On Notice - Bobby's Candy ApplesThe Colbert ReportS1
Stage Manager Bobby is placed on notice for referring to "caramel apples" as "candy apples."
Tip/Wag - Teen Pregnancy & Katie's No LadyThe Colbert ReportS1
Teen pregnancy rates drop even though many teenagers are still engaging in sexual activity, and Katie Holmes gets pregnant out of wedlock.
The Word - DisappointedThe Colbert ReportS1
After sharing the benefits of a caramel apple in the morning, Stephen explains how the media is mishandling Saddam Hussein's trial.
Fareed ZakariaThe Colbert ReportS1
Fareed Zakaria of "Newsweek" discusses outsourcing, Saddam Hussein's trial and his own centrist views.
Sign Off - The In-Box - You're GreatThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen reads two complimentary letters from his fans and one much less flattering letter.
Stephen Settles the Debate - Whales and Cod vs. Polar Bears and Seal HuntersThe Colbert ReportS1
With global warming melting the Arctic ice cap, several animals -- including whales, cod, polar bears and seals -- may need to adapt to changes in their ecosystem.
Intro - 10/20/05The Colbert ReportS1
Obesity in America climbs, foreign news becomes easier to understand, and financial expert Jim Cramer sits down with Stephen.
Sign Off - Credit CardsThe Colbert ReportS1
In order to stave off bankruptcy, average Americans must begin using as many credit cards as possible.
Avian FluThe Colbert ReportS1
As most news networks emphasis the worst parts of the bird flu epidemic, Stephen takes a cue from Fox News and throws a little bit of Lisa Loeb into his reporting.
Russ Lieber - Candy and AirThe Colbert ReportS1
Radio host Russ Lieber becomes enraged when he finds out that Stephen has gotten his own television show.
Jim CramerThe Colbert ReportS1
Financial expert and "Mad Money" host Jim Cramer explains why it's beneficial to invest in foreign markets.
Un-American News - The Foreign PressThe Colbert ReportS1
An English newspaper misunderstands the word "unlawful," Spanish television covers the Saddam Hussein trial, and Greek journalists use a quick-and-easy time-burner.
The Word - Love HandlesThe Colbert ReportS1
The Personal Responsibility in Food Consumption Act (known as the "Cheeseburger Bill") is passed, making it unlawful to sue corporations that sell fatty foods.
Bring 'Em Back or Leave 'Em Dead - InquisitionThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen is disappointed that his audience thinks the man who invented the Frosty should stay dead.
Against the PundocracyThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen strikes his first blow against the Schieffers, the Russerts and the Stephanopouli.
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