The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

This Just In - Jewel and The Gang

Season 5 • 11/09/2000

A $500 million jewel heist foiled in London, it's a job for bond, bail bond.

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00:32

Indecision 2000 - Not Steps
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The first steps of Stephen Colbert's daughter are now reportedly too close to call.
11/08/2000
01:12

Indecision 2000 - Margarine
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Nancy Walls reports that Bush's lead over Gore is only by the slightest of margarines, er, margins.
11/08/2000
02:15

The Other Big Story
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Hillary Clinton defeats Rick Lazio in the New York Senate race despite his dimples' popularity amongst white voters.
11/08/2000
05:03

Indecision 2000 - Day 38
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Amidst the controversy of the 2000 election everyone seems to agree on one thing: Holy f@#king s@#t.
11/09/2000
05:32

Michael Moore
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The pork fried shrimp at the Chinese restaurant is not called Moo Goo Pat Buchanan.
11/09/2000
00:18

Moment of Zen - Pat Buchanan
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Pat Buchanan can't believe that someone would vote for him by accident.
11/09/2000
02:45

Out at the Movies with Frank DeCaro - The Legend of Bagger Vance
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Golf isn't a metaphor for life, it's just the game your father loved more than your mother or you.
11/09/2000
00:37

Indecision 2000 - Florida Recount Results
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The recounting of votes in Florida will never end.
11/09/2000
02:23

Election Night - Choose and Lose
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The people of Palm Beach County are independent minded immigrants from Poland, Russia, the Ukraine and a large constituency from the lower east side in Long Island.
11/09/2000
00:35

Indecision 2000 - Clinton Laughing
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Bill Clinton took time out of his busy schedule to speak to reporters about the election.
11/09/2000
01:14

This Just In - Jewel and The Gang
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Thieves were foiled when they realized the stolen diamond was too big to sneak out in Nigel's ass.
11/09/2000
00:18

Moment of Zen - Three Kinds of Chads
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

There are three kinds of chads.
11/13/2000
05:13

Ass-ist
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

To test the effectiveness of the Assist invention Vance DeGeneres had both of his arms broken.
11/13/2000
02:46

Indecision 2000 - The Good, The Chad and The Ugly
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The 2000 Presidential election will be decided by Florida Judges, dimpled chads, and the counting skills of part time municipal employees.
11/13/2000
05:18

Adam Sandler
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Surprisingly, for the amount of time they spent wandering in the desert, Jews don't have tough feet.
11/13/2000
00:54

Today's Stories
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Jon Stewart recaps the day's top stories and previews Stephen Colbert's piece tomorrow at the heart of Florida's election crisis.
11/13/2000
00:45

Indecision 2000 - The Nation of Chad
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The African nation of Chad is abuzz and surprised at the affect it is having on American politics.
11/13/2000
01:11

Indecision 2000 - Movie Taglines
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Pregnant of dimpled chads do not officially count as votes in the state of Florida.
11/13/2000
02:17

Indecision 2000 - Recount
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

When it comes to deciding who's President, it's better to get it done right than it is to get it done fast.
11/13/2000
00:17

Moment of Zen - Too Raw, Herb?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Senior citizens in Florida enjoy their rib eye lunch.
11/14/2000
04:31

Patricia Arquette
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

If things dry up for Patricia Arquette, she's going job hunting in Las Vegas.
11/14/2000
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