The Colbert Report

Stephen Wins the Lottery

Season 3 • 03/06/2007

Now that Stephen won the lottery, he can say and do whatever he wants.

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00:40

Sign Off - You Get a Pint!
The Colbert ReportS3

Congratulations nation, your Americone dreams have come true!
03/05/2007
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00:30

Intro - 3/5/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The Walter Reed Army Medical Center is in shambles, the stock market is plunging, and Mara Vanderslice tells Stephen how Democrats can reach out to Evangelicals.
03/05/2007
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02:33

Stop the War in Congress
The Colbert ReportS3

Members of Congress can't just look out their window to see the conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center; they have to get in a car and drive four hours.
03/05/2007
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04:29

Bears & Balls - Bees
The Colbert ReportS3

The fewer bees there are, the more they're worth, so Stephen recommends covering your face in canned frosting to attract them.
03/05/2007
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06:00

Ben and Jerry - Introducing Americone Dream
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen can't try his new Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor, Americone Dream, because he loves Jesus.
03/05/2007
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03:34

The Word - WWJD
The Colbert ReportS3

Dr. Gary Merrill refuses to provide treatment to people he doesn't approve of.
03/06/2007
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04:29

ThreatDown - Cheney's Clot
The Colbert ReportS3

It's not enough that the mainstream media is against this president; now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon.
03/06/2007
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00:32

Intro - 3/6/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Dick Cheney gets a blood clot, guest Mark Frauenfelder edits a magazine about homemade technology, and doctors: should they refuse to treat patients for religious reasons?
03/06/2007
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06:16

Mark Frauenfelder
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen and Mark Frauenfelder shoot marshmallow guns at each other.
03/06/2007
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01:33

Libby Verdict
The Colbert ReportS3

It's so like the media to focus on Scooter Libby's four out of five guilty verdicts -- they always see the glass as 80% guilty.
03/06/2007
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03:06

Stephen Wins the Lottery
The Colbert ReportS3

It's so nice to be incredibly, undeniably, unfathomably, inexpressively, securely rich.
03/06/2007
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00:34

Intro - 3/7/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, Stephen discusses the possible repealing of the U.S. military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, kicks off his coverage of the 2008 presidential election and interviews reporter Michael Spector.
03/07/2007
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04:54

Mega Millions
The Colbert ReportS3

Following a rare factual error, Stephen must apologize for some things he said after finding out that he did not, in fact, win the lottery.
03/07/2007
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02:37

Easter Under Attack - Bunny
The Colbert ReportS3

Walnut Creek residents are debating over whether the Easter Bunny be changed to the Spring Bunny as to include all religions.
03/07/2007
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07:31

Michael Specter
The Colbert ReportS3

New Yorker reporter Michael Specter explains how Vladimir Putin's critics have been mysteriously dying.
03/07/2007
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04:04

The Word - Don't
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen argues that "Don't ask, don't tell" works because it allows homosexuals to help fight in the war on terror.
03/07/2007
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00:08

Sign Off - Colbert Savings Time
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen explains an easy way to see another episode of the show.
03/07/2007
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00:29

Intro - 3/8/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wants the judge in the Scooter Libby trial to apologize, and he can't wait to see Ted Koppel in the tank for shark week.
03/08/2007
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07:01

Ted Koppel
The Colbert ReportS3

Ted Koppel suggests that Stephen reconsider prancing around in front of the audience.
03/08/2007
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03:27

The Word - Comic Justice
The Colbert ReportS3

There are times when Captain America has gone against the government in order to do what he feels is right, and this time it got him killed.
03/08/2007
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06:17

Better Know a District - Kentucky's 3rd - John Yarmuth
The Colbert ReportS3

Representative John Yarmuth knows how to dispose of kittens if you don't have a shovel or a garbage can.
03/08/2007
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