The Colbert Report
Stephen Wins the Lottery
Season 3 • 03/06/2007
Now that Stephen won the lottery, he can say and do whatever he wants.
Sign Off - You Get a Pint!The Colbert ReportS3
Congratulations nation, your Americone dreams have come true!
Intro - 3/5/07The Colbert ReportS3
The Walter Reed Army Medical Center is in shambles, the stock market is plunging, and Mara Vanderslice tells Stephen how Democrats can reach out to Evangelicals.
Stop the War in CongressThe Colbert ReportS3
Members of Congress can't just look out their window to see the conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center; they have to get in a car and drive four hours.
Bears & Balls - BeesThe Colbert ReportS3
The fewer bees there are, the more they're worth, so Stephen recommends covering your face in canned frosting to attract them.
Ben and Jerry - Introducing Americone DreamThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen can't try his new Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor, Americone Dream, because he loves Jesus.
The Word - WWJDThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Gary Merrill refuses to provide treatment to people he doesn't approve of.
ThreatDown - Cheney's ClotThe Colbert ReportS3
It's not enough that the mainstream media is against this president; now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon.
Intro - 3/6/07The Colbert ReportS3
Dick Cheney gets a blood clot, guest Mark Frauenfelder edits a magazine about homemade technology, and doctors: should they refuse to treat patients for religious reasons?
Mark FrauenfelderThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen and Mark Frauenfelder shoot marshmallow guns at each other.
Libby VerdictThe Colbert ReportS3
It's so like the media to focus on Scooter Libby's four out of five guilty verdicts -- they always see the glass as 80% guilty.
Stephen Wins the LotteryThe Colbert ReportS3
It's so nice to be incredibly, undeniably, unfathomably, inexpressively, securely rich.
Intro - 3/7/07The Colbert ReportS3
In this episode, Stephen discusses the possible repealing of the U.S. military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, kicks off his coverage of the 2008 presidential election and interviews reporter Michael Spector.
Mega MillionsThe Colbert ReportS3
Following a rare factual error, Stephen must apologize for some things he said after finding out that he did not, in fact, win the lottery.
Easter Under Attack - BunnyThe Colbert ReportS3
Walnut Creek residents are debating over whether the Easter Bunny be changed to the Spring Bunny as to include all religions.
Michael SpecterThe Colbert ReportS3
New Yorker reporter Michael Specter explains how Vladimir Putin's critics have been mysteriously dying.
The Word - Don'tThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen argues that "Don't ask, don't tell" works because it allows homosexuals to help fight in the war on terror.
Sign Off - Colbert Savings TimeThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen explains an easy way to see another episode of the show.
Intro - 3/8/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen wants the judge in the Scooter Libby trial to apologize, and he can't wait to see Ted Koppel in the tank for shark week.
Ted KoppelThe Colbert ReportS3
Ted Koppel suggests that Stephen reconsider prancing around in front of the audience.
The Word - Comic JusticeThe Colbert ReportS3
There are times when Captain America has gone against the government in order to do what he feels is right, and this time it got him killed.
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