The Colbert Report

Stephen Wins the Lottery

Season 3 • 03/06/2007

Now that Stephen won the lottery, he can say and do whatever he wants.

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00:40

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - You Get a Pint!

Congratulations nation, your Americone dreams have come true!
03/05/2007
00:30

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 3/5/07

The Walter Reed Army Medical Center is in shambles, the stock market is plunging, and Mara Vanderslice tells Stephen how Democrats can reach out to Evangelicals.
03/05/2007
02:33

The Colbert ReportS3
Stop the War in Congress

Members of Congress can't just look out their window to see the conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center; they have to get in a car and drive four hours.
03/05/2007
04:29

The Colbert ReportS3
Bears & Balls - Bees

The fewer bees there are, the more they're worth, so Stephen recommends covering your face in canned frosting to attract them.
03/05/2007
06:00

The Colbert ReportS3
Ben and Jerry - Introducing Americone Dream

Stephen can't try his new Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor, Americone Dream, because he loves Jesus.
03/05/2007
03:34

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - WWJD

Dr. Gary Merrill refuses to provide treatment to people he doesn't approve of.
03/06/2007
04:29

The Colbert ReportS3
ThreatDown - Cheney's Clot

It's not enough that the mainstream media is against this president; now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon.
03/06/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 3/6/07

Dick Cheney gets a blood clot, guest Mark Frauenfelder edits a magazine about homemade technology, and doctors: should they refuse to treat patients for religious reasons?
03/06/2007
06:16

The Colbert ReportS3
Mark Frauenfelder

Stephen and Mark Frauenfelder shoot marshmallow guns at each other.
03/06/2007
01:33

The Colbert ReportS3
Libby Verdict

It's so like the media to focus on Scooter Libby's four out of five guilty verdicts -- they always see the glass as 80% guilty.
03/06/2007
03:06

The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen Wins the Lottery

It's so nice to be incredibly, undeniably, unfathomably, inexpressively, securely rich.
03/06/2007
00:34

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 3/7/07

In this episode, Stephen discusses the possible repealing of the U.S. military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, kicks off his coverage of the 2008 presidential election and interviews reporter Michael Spector.
03/07/2007
04:54

The Colbert ReportS3
Mega Millions

Following a rare factual error, Stephen must apologize for some things he said after finding out that he did not, in fact, win the lottery.
03/07/2007
02:37

The Colbert ReportS3
Easter Under Attack - Bunny

Walnut Creek residents are debating over whether the Easter Bunny be changed to the Spring Bunny as to include all religions.
03/07/2007
07:31

The Colbert ReportS3
Michael Specter

New Yorker reporter Michael Specter explains how Vladimir Putin's critics have been mysteriously dying.
03/07/2007
04:04

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Don't

Stephen argues that "Don't ask, don't tell" works because it allows homosexuals to help fight in the war on terror.
03/07/2007
00:08

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Colbert Savings Time

Stephen explains an easy way to see another episode of the show.
03/07/2007
00:29

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 3/8/07

Stephen wants the judge in the Scooter Libby trial to apologize, and he can't wait to see Ted Koppel in the tank for shark week.
03/08/2007
07:01

The Colbert ReportS3
Ted Koppel

Ted Koppel suggests that Stephen reconsider prancing around in front of the audience.
03/08/2007
03:27

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Comic Justice

There are times when Captain America has gone against the government in order to do what he feels is right, and this time it got him killed.
03/08/2007
06:17

The Colbert ReportS3
Better Know a District - Kentucky's 3rd - John Yarmuth

Representative John Yarmuth knows how to dispose of kittens if you don't have a shovel or a garbage can.
03/08/2007
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