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The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Drink On
Season 2 • 01/19/2006
On Fridays, Stephen gets his drink on.
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Watching
03:49
The Colbert Report
S2
The Word - Smarterer
You don't need a lot of knowledge if you put a lot of anger behind those few things you do know.
01/18/2006
06:21
The Colbert Report
S2
Frank McCourt
Training German Shepherds in Germany prepared Frank McCourt to teach high school.
01/18/2006
00:33
The Colbert Report
S2
Intro - 1/18/06
Stephen questions whether American kids are falling behind, wonders if it's too late to pump Socrates' stomach, and gives bullying a wedgie of his analysis.
01/18/2006
03:20
The Colbert Report
S2
Bring 'Em Back or Leave 'Em Dead - Teacher's Edition
The only two miracle workers of our time have been John Paul II and Nature's Miracle stain remover.
01/18/2006
02:04
The Colbert Report
S2
Sign Off - The Bully System
The bully system teaches leadership skills to our dumb kids, while encouraging our nerdy kids to get smarter.
01/18/2006
03:07
The Colbert Report
S2
The Word - Public-See
We could put an end to stone-throwing if we all lived in glass houses.
01/19/2006
07:11
The Colbert Report
S2
Better Know a District - New York's 17th - Eliot Engel
Stephen isn't allowed to stroke Eliot Engel's moustache, but he can comb it.
01/19/2006
02:57
The Colbert Report
S2
Who's Attacking Me Now? - Humane Society
Stephen is being attacked for educating children about the need for bear hunts.
01/19/2006
00:30
The Colbert Report
S2
Intro - 1/19/06
The government has been monitoring your calls, and they agree that your boyfriend is a tool.
01/19/2006
05:27
The Colbert Report
S2
Nina Totenberg
If you pledge $1,000 to The Colbert Report, Nina Totenberg will come to your shower in a plush terry cloth robe.
01/19/2006
00:13
The Colbert Report
S2
Sign Off - Drink On
Stephen chugs a beer because it's Friday.
01/19/2006
03:49
The Colbert Report
S2
The Word - Charlie Daniels
Osama bin Laden's most recent tape has Star Jones promoting a deal with the devil.
01/23/2006
00:35
The Colbert Report
S2
Intro - 1/23/06
NASCAR fans will be glad to hear that unleaded gasoline is extremely flammable.
01/23/2006
05:54
The Colbert Report
S2
David Gregory
Stephen hits a nerve by comparing David Gregory to Major Garrett.
01/23/2006
02:38
The Colbert Report
S2
Oprah's Book Club
A new translation of Elie Wiesel's "Night" has Stephen wondering if it should be categorized as a memoir or a novel.
01/23/2006
01:58
The Colbert Report
S2
Dr. Love
Stephen feels responsible for the fact that couples with televisions in their bedrooms have less sex, so he tries to help out.
01/23/2006
05:19
The Colbert Report
S2
ThreatDown - Hamas
Stephen puts Hamas on notice for being in league with America's real #1 threat.
01/23/2006
02:55
The Colbert Report
S2
The Word - Chernobyl
Stephen takes a look at the bright side of Chernobyl and Hurricane Katrina.
01/24/2006
02:12
The Colbert Report
S2
The In-Box - DVDs
Stephen uses his own in-box to remind himself to return some DVDs.
01/24/2006
04:02
The Colbert Report
S2
Formidable Opponent - Superpowers
Stephen Colbert takes on himself in a battle of privacy vs. wiretapping, complete with heat vision and force fields.
01/24/2006
03:16
The Colbert Report
S2
Most Depressing Day of the Year
Not even kittens, monster trucks and Juan Gabriel can cheer up Stephen on the most depressing day of the year.
01/24/2006
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