The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Drink On

Season 2 • 01/19/2006

On Fridays, Stephen gets his drink on.

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03:49

The Colbert ReportS2
The Word - Smarterer

You don't need a lot of knowledge if you put a lot of anger behind those few things you do know.
01/18/2006
06:21

The Colbert ReportS2
Frank McCourt

Training German Shepherds in Germany prepared Frank McCourt to teach high school.
01/18/2006
00:33

The Colbert ReportS2
Intro - 1/18/06

Stephen questions whether American kids are falling behind, wonders if it's too late to pump Socrates' stomach, and gives bullying a wedgie of his analysis.
01/18/2006
03:20

The Colbert ReportS2
Bring 'Em Back or Leave 'Em Dead - Teacher's Edition

The only two miracle workers of our time have been John Paul II and Nature's Miracle stain remover.
01/18/2006
02:04

The Colbert ReportS2
Sign Off - The Bully System

The bully system teaches leadership skills to our dumb kids, while encouraging our nerdy kids to get smarter.
01/18/2006
03:07

The Colbert ReportS2
The Word - Public-See

We could put an end to stone-throwing if we all lived in glass houses.
01/19/2006
07:11

The Colbert ReportS2
Better Know a District - New York's 17th - Eliot Engel

Stephen isn't allowed to stroke Eliot Engel's moustache, but he can comb it.
01/19/2006
02:57

The Colbert ReportS2
Who's Attacking Me Now? - Humane Society

Stephen is being attacked for educating children about the need for bear hunts.
01/19/2006
00:30

The Colbert ReportS2
Intro - 1/19/06

The government has been monitoring your calls, and they agree that your boyfriend is a tool.
01/19/2006
05:27

The Colbert ReportS2
Nina Totenberg

If you pledge $1,000 to The Colbert Report, Nina Totenberg will come to your shower in a plush terry cloth robe.
01/19/2006
00:13

The Colbert ReportS2
Sign Off - Drink On

Stephen chugs a beer because it's Friday.
01/19/2006
03:49

The Colbert ReportS2
The Word - Charlie Daniels

Osama bin Laden's most recent tape has Star Jones promoting a deal with the devil.
01/23/2006
00:35

The Colbert ReportS2
Intro - 1/23/06

NASCAR fans will be glad to hear that unleaded gasoline is extremely flammable.
01/23/2006
05:54

The Colbert ReportS2
David Gregory

Stephen hits a nerve by comparing David Gregory to Major Garrett.
01/23/2006
02:38

The Colbert ReportS2
Oprah's Book Club

A new translation of Elie Wiesel's "Night" has Stephen wondering if it should be categorized as a memoir or a novel.
01/23/2006
01:58

The Colbert ReportS2
Dr. Love

Stephen feels responsible for the fact that couples with televisions in their bedrooms have less sex, so he tries to help out.
01/23/2006
05:19

The Colbert ReportS2
ThreatDown - Hamas

Stephen puts Hamas on notice for being in league with America's real #1 threat.
01/23/2006
02:55

The Colbert ReportS2
The Word - Chernobyl

Stephen takes a look at the bright side of Chernobyl and Hurricane Katrina.
01/24/2006
02:12

The Colbert ReportS2
The In-Box - DVDs

Stephen uses his own in-box to remind himself to return some DVDs.
01/24/2006
04:02

The Colbert ReportS2
Formidable Opponent - Superpowers

Stephen Colbert takes on himself in a battle of privacy vs. wiretapping, complete with heat vision and force fields.
01/24/2006
03:16

The Colbert ReportS2
Most Depressing Day of the Year

Not even kittens, monster trucks and Juan Gabriel can cheer up Stephen on the most depressing day of the year.
01/24/2006
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