The Colbert Report

Intro - 1/5/09

Season 5 • 01/05/2009

Don't drink grain alcohol before eggnog.

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Watching

03:22

The Colbert ReportS4
Rod Blagojevich's Birthday

Governor, you really shouldn't have told anyone about last year's birthday wish to get away with your crimes.
12/10/2008
03:49

The Colbert ReportS4
The Ghost of Stage Manager Bobby

The ghost of Bobby returns to show Stephen what his life was like before he became a greedy, narcissistic shell of a man.
12/11/2008
00:37

The Colbert ReportS4
Intro - 12/11/08

Atheists are trying to take the Christ out of Christmas. What's next, taking the Christ out of Christiane Amanpour?
12/11/2008
00:38

The Colbert ReportS4
Stephen Eats Ghost Ribs

Stephen wishes everybody a Merry Christmas, especially his former stage manager Bobby.
12/11/2008
07:09

The Colbert ReportS4
Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps will compete in the 2010 Winter Olympics after Stephen teaches him how to ice dance.
12/11/2008
07:22

The Colbert ReportS4
The Word - The Unbearable Lightness of Supreme Being

Christmas really burns atheists up, which they can think of as a preview of their afterlife.
12/11/2008
06:29

The Colbert ReportS5
Colbert and Colmes - Roland Burris Appointment

Rod Blagojevich proves himself to be a civil rights leader.
01/05/2009
04:37

The Colbert ReportS5
John King

Stephen congratulates John King and the rest of the media on getting Obama elected.
01/05/2009
05:12

The Colbert ReportS5
Tek Jansen - Beginning's First Dawn: Episode Three

Tek Jansen attempts to free some innocent, delicious beings from slavery.
01/05/2009
02:52

The Colbert ReportS5
Colbert and Colmes - Colmes Gets Fired

Alan Colmes can't come back to the show unless he has a book to promote.
01/05/2009
00:27

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 1/5/09

Stephen is still feeling the effects of his New Year's celebration.
01/05/2009
00:25

The Colbert ReportS5
Thank You, Stephen

Stephen wants to thank all the people who make this show possible.
01/06/2009
03:28

The Colbert ReportS5
Ponzi Schemes

Bernard Madoff lost less money than AIG and he throws way better parties.
01/06/2009
03:59

The Colbert ReportS5
Hiding Gold - David Leonhardt

David Leonhardt endorses Stephen's new business of hiding gold.
01/06/2009
05:09

The Colbert ReportS5
Matt Miller

Matt Miller says the government must make sure we have basic securities like health care and pensions.
01/06/2009
06:59

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a District - Utah's 3rd - Jason Chaffetz

Stephen beats Jason Chaffetz in leg wrestling.
01/06/2009
00:36

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 1/7/09

Obama wants to make it easier for people to sue their employers for past abuse. Jon Stewart, Stephen's silence about your workouts ends.
01/07/2009
06:10

The Colbert ReportS5
Benicio Del Toro

Benicio Del Toro talks about meeting Castro to prepare for "Che."
01/07/2009
05:32

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Statute of Liberty

If Barack Obama wants people to get the justice they were denied in the past, he should get someone to deny their civil rights now.
01/07/2009
02:49

The Colbert ReportS5
Dr. Gupta's Penis Pyramid

If Sanjay Gupta gets appointed as surgeon general he'll change the food pyramid.
01/07/2009
03:24

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - Cocaine Honey

Now we know that the missing honeybees are in the bathroom doing a bump.
01/07/2009
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