The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Goodnight

Season 9 • 01/07/2013

Stephen signs off.

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04:38

Simone Campbell
The Colbert ReportS9

Sister Simone Campbell discusses her "Nuns on the Bus" tour and explains how Paul Ryan's budget battle fails Jesus and the Constitution.
12/13/2012
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05:56

Uncensored - "Breaking Abbey"
The Colbert ReportS9

First Lady Michelle Antoinette previews the next season of "Downton Abbey" while the world's commoners are left to fear what will become of the aristocrats.
12/13/2012
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03:41

Colbert Super PAC - The Ham Rove Memorial Fund
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen prays that Colbert Super PAC money is in a better place, and Ham's charitable fund scores a hefty donation from PO Box "Bite Me."
12/13/2012
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02:29

Hurricane Sandy Mega Concert
The Colbert ReportS9

Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen and Eric Clapton were all just opening acts for rock legend Stephen Colbert at the 12/12/12 Hurricane Sandy benefit.
12/13/2012
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03:33

The Platinum Debt Ceiling Solution
The Colbert ReportS9

Minting trillion dollar platinum coins to pay off America's debt is legal in that it is not technically illegal.
01/07/2013
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00:33

Intro - 1/7/13
The Colbert ReportS9

America dodges a financial crisis, the PC police attack Bill O'Reilly, and Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales chats about his free encyclopedia.
01/07/2013
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05:30

Blood in the Water - Bill O'Reilly's Racial Insensitivity
The Colbert ReportS9

Wikipedia's elephants page has more protection than elephants, and the liberal media twists Bill O'Reilly's compliment about Asians.
01/07/2013
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04:59

Jimmy Wales
The Colbert ReportS9

Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales explains operating costs, censorship in China and the budding Wikivoyager.
01/07/2013
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02:44

Fiscal Cliff Deal & Disincentives
The Colbert ReportS9

Republicans accept President Obama's tax hikes on the wealthy, but luckily this horrible deal contains a few loopholes.
01/07/2013
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02:53

Stephen's Holiday Break
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen spends the first six days of vacation just going to the bathroom.
01/07/2013
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00:07

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
01/07/2013
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07:05

Cheating Death - Rage & Blood Transfusions
The Colbert ReportS9

People naturally blessed with soul-choking bitterness live longer than the terminally calm, and drinking young blood is a great alternative to exercising.
01/08/2013
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04:08

Bin Laden Film Controversy
The Colbert ReportS9

Since America is long overdue for a thorough investigation into its use of torture in movies, the Senate Intelligence Committee goes after "Zero Dark Thirty."
01/08/2013
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05:58

Chris Kluwe
The Colbert ReportS9

Chris Kluwe explains the punter's role and reiterates his support for pro-gay Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo.
01/08/2013
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02:27

Postage Price Hike
The Colbert ReportS9

The USPS Forever Stamp goes up by one penny, which proves the government can't do anything right.
01/08/2013
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00:13

Sign Off - VACSA-TERN
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen sips on the blood of the young and admires himself in the mirror.
01/08/2013
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00:38

Intro - 1/8/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Science finds the key to a long, healthy life, "Zero Dark Thirty" stirs up controversy, and NFL punter Chris Kluwe discusses gay rights advocacy.
01/08/2013
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05:19

Neil Shubin
The Colbert ReportS9

The biological scientist shares his book, "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People."
01/09/2013
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04:51

Gun Control Backlash
The Colbert ReportS9

Schools work armed officers into their prom themes, and former NRA President Marion Hammer knows that outlawing assault weapons is just another form of discrimination.
01/09/2013
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00:32

Intro - 1/9/13
The Colbert ReportS9

America considers gun control, a troubling food addiction surfaces, and paleontologist Neil Shubin finds the missing link between sea and land creatures.
01/09/2013
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03:38

Idaho's Walled & Armed Community
The Colbert ReportS9

An exciting real estate opportunity boasts family shooting ranges, a firearms factory and safety from federal thugs.
01/09/2013
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