The Colbert Report
The Word - Texas Hold 'Em
Season 3 E 2 • 01/09/2007

Stephen has advice for the president: send everyone to Iraq. Americans need to sacrifice more.

Watching

03:16

The Colbert ReportS3 E1
The Gallotastic Executacular - Hangin' With Mr. Hussein

Stephen is upset that Saddam Hussein was executed while Stephen was on vacation, especially as he was already planning a 30-minute special for it.
01/08/2007
05:51

The Colbert ReportS3 E1
Ethan Nadelmann

Director of the Drug Policy Alliance Ethan Nadelmann argues to legalize marijuana to reduce America's prison population.
01/08/2007
00:29

The Colbert ReportS3 E1
Intro - 1/8/07

In this episode, Stephen discusses Saddam Hussein's execution, welcomes the new Democratic Congress and interviews Drug Policy Alliance Chair Ethan Nadelmann.
01/08/2007
04:58

The Colbert ReportS3 E1
The Word - Facts

Since the Democrat's version of reality is unfortunately based on reality, Stephen wants to fight facts with "facts."
01/08/2007
00:31

The Colbert ReportS3 E2
Intro - 1/9/07

Stephen tells Boy Scout Council 289 to pack their bags, and wonders why celebrities can't fight to the death.
01/09/2007
01:55

The Colbert ReportS3 E2
Sign Off - Farewell, James Brown

Though it's sad to lose the Godfather of Soul, there is a silver lining for Stephen.
01/09/2007
01:24

The Colbert ReportS3 E2
Not a Sex Scandal

On behalf of Catholics everywhere, Stephen thanks Archbishop Wielgus for merely selling out his peers to a godless, totalitarian regime.
01/09/2007
06:18

The Colbert ReportS3 E2
Jim Cramer

Jim Cramer tells Stephen how to get the most out of watching his show.
01/09/2007
01:11

The Colbert ReportS3 E2
Ohio State Loses

The Florida Gators don't care what kind of message they're sending to America's enemies.
01/09/2007
04:54

The Colbert ReportS3 E2
We the Mediator - Celebrity Feuds

Stephen picks sides in celebrity fights between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump, Madonna and Angelina Jolie, and Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan.
01/09/2007
03:51

The Colbert ReportS3 E2
The Word - Texas Hold 'Em

Stephen has advice for the president: send everyone to Iraq. Americans need to sacrifice more.
01/09/2007
05:57

The Colbert ReportS3 E3
David Kamp

Stephen and David Kamp discuss the fancy-pantsification of American food.
01/10/2007
01:49

The Colbert ReportS3 E3
President's Speech

Watching President Bush address the nation is like hanging out with your best bud.
01/10/2007
03:56

The Colbert ReportS3 E3
The Word - Worry

Stephen wants to delicately remove Missouri and replace it with a stronger heartland: Texas.
01/10/2007
02:06

The Colbert ReportS3 E3
Invasion of the Country Snatchers

Winning baby contests is what illegal immigrants are leaving their families and risking their lives to come here for.
01/10/2007
00:30

The Colbert ReportS3 E3
Intro - 1/10/07

The red states may be turning blue, Tek Jansen has a new adventure, and America's taste in food is getting fancier.
01/10/2007
00:17

The Colbert ReportS3 E3
Sign Off - Thawing Meat

Never thaw meat, poultry and fish products on the counter or in the sink without cold water.
01/10/2007
05:23

The Colbert ReportS3 E3
Tek Jansen - Hounds of Hell: Ragtime Billy Peaches

In this episode, Tek Jansen is mysteriously teleported to the combatosphere orbiting over Asteroid Z.
01/10/2007
03:28

The Colbert ReportS3 E4
What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Doubled Up

Stephen reminds his viewers that just because the numbers on the board are between one and five hundred, that doesn't mean the number he's thinking of is.
01/11/2007
04:02

The Colbert ReportS3 E4
Tip/Wag - Science and Technology

Stephen is outraged by the iPhone unless he gets one for free.
01/11/2007
06:48

The Colbert ReportS3 E4
Judy Woodruff

Judy Woodruff talks about her new PBS documentary on Generation Next and grills Stephen on his tattoos.
01/11/2007
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