The Colbert Report
Intro - 10/8/09
Season 5 • 10/08/2009
The media attacks Glenn Beck. See, he told us he's not paranoid for nothing.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 10/7/09
Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.
The Colbert ReportS5 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Eye Tooth
Doctors enable a blind woman to see again by jamming her own tooth into her eye.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Jasper T. Jowls
Stephen accidentally lapses into his old routine as the voice of an animatronic banjo dog at Chuck E. Cheese's.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Conservapedia, Louvre & Honda Unicycle
Stephen wants to be a biblical figure on Conservapedia, the Louvre announces its plans to install a McDonald's, and Honda introduces a unicycle of the future.
The Colbert ReportS5 Alison Gopnik
Alison Gopnik says babies are already as smart as they can be and have incredibly powerful ways of learning about the world.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kevin the Iranian Intern
An Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the U.S., and Stephen introduces his new intern, Kevin.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Rush Limbaugh & Ted Williams' Frozen Head
Rush Limbaugh makes a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, and cryogenics employees play baseball with Ted Williams' frozen head.
The Colbert ReportS5 Colin Beavan
Colin Beavan spent a year making no environmental impact in the hope of finding a way to live that's better for the planet.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bend It Like Beck
Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Buddy System
Stephen wants you to pair up until he sees you again in 72 hours.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 10/8/09
The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.
The Colbert ReportS5 Happy Columbus Day
In exchange for spices from the West Indies, Christopher Columbus gave the natives discount mattresses and smallpox.
The Colbert ReportS5 Fallback Position - James Blake
James Blake overcomes Stephen's total lack of athletic ability to transform him into a tennis champion.
The Colbert ReportS5 War of Peace - Shashi Tharoor
Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Tennis Lesson With James Blake
Stephen learns that tennis is an anything goes free-for-all where deuce is good and love is bad.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Thanks to the Guests
Stephen thanks Shashi Tharoor, James Blake and Sanjay Gupta for being his guests.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 10/12/09
The world has a peace prize in its pocket for Barack Obama, Dr. Sanjay Gupta keeps Larry King "live," and Stephen looks for a backup job.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sanjay Gupta
Sanjay Gupta wants to intervene in the process of death and possibly reverse it.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sylvia Earle
Sylvia Earle stresses the importance of doing everything we can to protect the ocean and restore health to the system that takes care of us.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Gmail
If you're watching on a computer, open up Gmail so Stephen can check some messages.
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