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The Colbert Report
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About
The Colbert Report
Intro - 10/8/09
Season 5 • 10/08/2009
The media attacks Glenn Beck. See, he told us he's not paranoid for nothing.
More
Watching
00:38
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 10/7/09
Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.
10/07/2009
02:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Eye Tooth
Doctors enable a blind woman to see again by jamming her own tooth into her eye.
10/07/2009
00:38
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Jasper T. Jowls
Stephen accidentally lapses into his old routine as the voice of an animatronic banjo dog at Chuck E. Cheese's.
10/07/2009
05:45
The Colbert Report
S5
Tip/Wag - Conservapedia, Louvre & Honda Unicycle
Stephen wants to be a biblical figure on Conservapedia, the Louvre announces its plans to install a McDonald's, and Honda introduces a unicycle of the future.
10/07/2009
06:40
The Colbert Report
S5
Alison Gopnik
Alison Gopnik says babies are already as smart as they can be and have incredibly powerful ways of learning about the world.
10/07/2009
02:52
The Colbert Report
S5
Kevin the Iranian Intern
An Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the U.S., and Stephen introduces his new intern, Kevin.
10/08/2009
04:04
The Colbert Report
S5
Sport Report - Rush Limbaugh & Ted Williams' Frozen Head
Rush Limbaugh makes a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, and cryogenics employees play baseball with Ted Williams' frozen head.
10/08/2009
04:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Colin Beavan
Colin Beavan spent a year making no environmental impact in the hope of finding a way to live that's better for the planet.
10/08/2009
06:58
The Colbert Report
S5
Bend It Like Beck
Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity.
10/08/2009
00:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Buddy System
Stephen wants you to pair up until he sees you again in 72 hours.
10/08/2009
00:35
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 10/8/09
The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.
10/08/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Happy Columbus Day
In exchange for spices from the West Indies, Christopher Columbus gave the natives discount mattresses and smallpox.
10/12/2009
05:59
The Colbert Report
S5
Fallback Position - James Blake
James Blake overcomes Stephen's total lack of athletic ability to transform him into a tennis champion.
10/12/2009
07:17
The Colbert Report
S5
War of Peace - Shashi Tharoor
Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
10/12/2009
02:23
The Colbert Report
S5
Exclusive - Tennis Lesson With James Blake
Stephen learns that tennis is an anything goes free-for-all where deuce is good and love is bad.
10/12/2009
00:18
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Thanks to the Guests
Stephen thanks Shashi Tharoor, James Blake and Sanjay Gupta for being his guests.
10/12/2009
00:32
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 10/12/09
The world has a peace prize in its pocket for Barack Obama, Dr. Sanjay Gupta keeps Larry King "live," and Stephen looks for a backup job.
10/12/2009
05:36
The Colbert Report
S5
Sanjay Gupta
Sanjay Gupta wants to intervene in the process of death and possibly reverse it.
10/12/2009
05:47
The Colbert Report
S5
Sylvia Earle
Sylvia Earle stresses the importance of doing everything we can to protect the ocean and restore health to the system that takes care of us.
10/13/2009
00:11
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Gmail
If you're watching on a computer, open up Gmail so Stephen can check some messages.
10/13/2009
04:47
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Symbol-Minded
The cross has nothing to do with Christianity -- it's just the normal symbol of the resting place of the dead. Download The Word NOW!
10/13/2009
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00:30
Crank Yankers
S6
Destiny Is Calling on the New Season of Crank Yankers
Desus & Mero, Wanda Sykes, Jimmy Kimmel and even more of your faves are back for more pranking puppet hijinks when Crank Yankers returns Wednesday, July 6 at 8/7c.
06/23/2022
Trailer
00:29
Hot Mess Holiday
Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday
Melanie Chandra and Surina Jindal embark on a zany weekend adventure during Diwali in the Comedy Central original movie Hot Mess Holiday, now streaming.
12/20/2021
Trailer
00:30
A Clüsterfünke Christmas
A Clüsterfünke Christmas Is TV's Holiday-est Movie
Featuring a hunky lumberjack, a quaint family business and more, everybody's favorite holiday tropes come together in Comedy Central's festive TV-movie parody, A Clüsterfünke Christmas.
12/17/2021
Trailer
00:30
Every Episode of Seinfeld Is Now on Comedy Central
Every moment, every character and every yada, yada, yada of Seinfeld is now on Comedy Central.
11/10/2021