The Colbert Report

Intro - 10/8/09

Season 5 • 10/08/2009

The media attacks Glenn Beck. See, he told us he's not paranoid for nothing.

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00:38

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 10/7/09

Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.
10/07/2009
02:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Eye Tooth

Doctors enable a blind woman to see again by jamming her own tooth into her eye.
10/07/2009
00:38

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Jasper T. Jowls

Stephen accidentally lapses into his old routine as the voice of an animatronic banjo dog at Chuck E. Cheese's.
10/07/2009
05:45

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - Conservapedia, Louvre & Honda Unicycle

Stephen wants to be a biblical figure on Conservapedia, the Louvre announces its plans to install a McDonald's, and Honda introduces a unicycle of the future.
10/07/2009
06:40

The Colbert ReportS5
Alison Gopnik

Alison Gopnik says babies are already as smart as they can be and have incredibly powerful ways of learning about the world.
10/07/2009
02:52

The Colbert ReportS5
Kevin the Iranian Intern

An Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the U.S., and Stephen introduces his new intern, Kevin.
10/08/2009
04:04

The Colbert ReportS5
Sport Report - Rush Limbaugh & Ted Williams' Frozen Head

Rush Limbaugh makes a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, and cryogenics employees play baseball with Ted Williams' frozen head.
10/08/2009
04:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Colin Beavan

Colin Beavan spent a year making no environmental impact in the hope of finding a way to live that's better for the planet.
10/08/2009
06:58

The Colbert ReportS5
Bend It Like Beck

Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity.
10/08/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Buddy System

Stephen wants you to pair up until he sees you again in 72 hours.
10/08/2009
00:35

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 10/8/09

The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.
10/08/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Happy Columbus Day

In exchange for spices from the West Indies, Christopher Columbus gave the natives discount mattresses and smallpox.
10/12/2009
05:59

The Colbert ReportS5
Fallback Position - James Blake

James Blake overcomes Stephen's total lack of athletic ability to transform him into a tennis champion.
10/12/2009
07:17

The Colbert ReportS5
War of Peace - Shashi Tharoor

Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
10/12/2009
00:18

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Thanks to the Guests

Stephen thanks Shashi Tharoor, James Blake and Sanjay Gupta for being his guests.
10/12/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 10/12/09

The world has a peace prize in its pocket for Barack Obama, Dr. Sanjay Gupta keeps Larry King "live," and Stephen looks for a backup job.
10/12/2009
05:36

The Colbert ReportS5
Sanjay Gupta

Sanjay Gupta wants to intervene in the process of death and possibly reverse it.
10/12/2009
05:47

The Colbert ReportS5
Sylvia Earle

Sylvia Earle stresses the importance of doing everything we can to protect the ocean and restore health to the system that takes care of us.
10/13/2009
00:11

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Gmail

If you're watching on a computer, open up Gmail so Stephen can check some messages.
10/13/2009
04:47

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Symbol-Minded

The cross has nothing to do with Christianity -- it's just the normal symbol of the resting place of the dead. Download The Word NOW!
10/13/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 10/13/09

Stephen tells babies to get a job, and Sylvia Earle prevents him from deep-frying a merman.
10/13/2009
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