The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Headlines - Death Certificate
Season 3 • 05/12/1999
Nineteen minks were gored with a dull spoon so you could look like a whore.
Blue Foam BallsThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Jon Stewart previews today's show and promises if someone is good, they'll get one of his blue foam balls.
We Fix EverythingThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Without guns, we would soon fall prey to the evil machinations of deer and rabbit. They're out there, nibbling ever closer.
This Just In - Copping a FeelThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
An illegal strip search of a suspect in a crime results in a federal judge awarding a $5 million settlement to the victim.
Moment of Zen - YeltsinThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Boris Yeltsin delivers a presumably drunk speech.
Recap - 5/13/99The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
A recap of today's top stories and a preview of tomorrow's show, including Star Wars coverage.
Public Excess - Killing Us SoftlyThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
A collection of some of the most horrific performers that public access television has to offer.
LobstermanThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
A 300 pound spandex-clad wrestler throws his claw into the presidential campaign ring.
Ted DansonThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Ted Danson and his wife are highly competitive, which makes meditating together very difficult.
Headlines - Rebel YeltsinThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Boris Yeltsin emerges from his vodka fog to fire his prime minister for the fourth time.
Other News - Pushing the EnvelopesThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
J.D. Salinger's ex-lover wants her children to go to college, meet a reclusive author, nail him and then cash in on the relationship later.
Headlines - Death CertificateThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
The residents of Beverly Hills are forced to wear fur as they are confronted by temperatures as low as 60 degrees.
Other News - Wandering JewsThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
With Israelis in America flying home to vote in the national elections, flight attendants will hear lots of people demanding the kosher meal.
Headlines - Cashing OutThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Robert Rubin steps down as White House Treasury Secretary, Bill Clinton has one less secretary to chase around his desk.
This Just In - Brave New WormThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Tapeworms may posses a gene which could help humans live longer, so don't let your dying, rich uncle play in the dirt.
Intro - Secret WordThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
In honor of a policeman in the audience, Jon announces the secret word, "cup it."
Moment of Zen - Snake SwallowThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
A man puts a snake up his nose and pulls it out his mouth.
Headlines - Bloke and DaggerThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
The identities of British spies are revealed online and with a credit card you can see Pussy Galore.
Thersday for the GraduatesThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Even though Jon Stewart was not asked to give a commencement speech at a school or university, he's decided to give one anyway.
Star Wars - The Obligatory CoverageThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Excitement is Hollywood's middle name, especially when it comes to waiting in long lines.
Ad Nauseam - PresentationThe Daily Show with Jon StewartS3
Be careful when introducing new characters too abruptly in your commercial, especially when it is a potentially vicious, human sized bunny.
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