The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Headlines - Death Certificate
Season 3 • 05/12/1999
Nineteen minks were gored with a dull spoon so you could look like a whore.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Blue Foam Balls
Jon Stewart previews today's show and promises if someone is good, they'll get one of his blue foam balls.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 We Fix Everything
Without guns, we would soon fall prey to the evil machinations of deer and rabbit. They're out there, nibbling ever closer.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 This Just In - Copping a Feel
An illegal strip search of a suspect in a crime results in a federal judge awarding a $5 million settlement to the victim.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Moment of Zen - Yeltsin
Boris Yeltsin delivers a presumably drunk speech.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Recap - 5/13/99
A recap of today's top stories and a preview of tomorrow's show, including Star Wars coverage.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Public Excess - Killing Us Softly
A collection of some of the most horrific performers that public access television has to offer.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Lobsterman
A 300 pound spandex-clad wrestler throws his claw into the presidential campaign ring.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Ted Danson
Ted Danson and his wife are highly competitive, which makes meditating together very difficult.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Headlines - Rebel Yeltsin
Boris Yeltsin emerges from his vodka fog to fire his prime minister for the fourth time.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Other News - Pushing the Envelopes
J.D. Salinger's ex-lover wants her children to go to college, meet a reclusive author, nail him and then cash in on the relationship later.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Headlines - Death Certificate
The residents of Beverly Hills are forced to wear fur as they are confronted by temperatures as low as 60 degrees.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Other News - Wandering Jews
With Israelis in America flying home to vote in the national elections, flight attendants will hear lots of people demanding the kosher meal.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Headlines - Cashing Out
Robert Rubin steps down as White House Treasury Secretary, Bill Clinton has one less secretary to chase around his desk.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 This Just In - Brave New Worm
Tapeworms may posses a gene which could help humans live longer, so don't let your dying, rich uncle play in the dirt.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Intro - Secret Word
In honor of a policeman in the audience, Jon announces the secret word, "cup it."
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Moment of Zen - Snake Swallow
A man puts a snake up his nose and pulls it out his mouth.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Headlines - Bloke and Dagger
The identities of British spies are revealed online and with a credit card you can see Pussy Galore.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Thersday for the Graduates
Even though Jon Stewart was not asked to give a commencement speech at a school or university, he's decided to give one anyway.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Star Wars - The Obligatory Coverage
Excitement is Hollywood's middle name, especially when it comes to waiting in long lines.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS3 Ad Nauseam - Presentation
Be careful when introducing new characters too abruptly in your commercial, especially when it is a potentially vicious, human sized bunny.
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