The Colbert Report

Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts

Season 5 • 12/03/2009

Stephen is determined to go to the Vancouver Olympics as a member of the U.S. Olympic team.

More

Watching

06:39

Deployment Figures
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama's speech to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan was missing passion and a certain word.
12/02/2009
06:53

Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom
The Colbert ReportS5

R.J. Reynolds hopes to make money off of quit-smoking aids, Genzyme pills contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements via remote control.
12/02/2009
00:34

Intro - 12/2/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama sends 30,000 troops into Afghanistan, and Craig Watkins overturns old convictions with DNA evidence.
12/02/2009
06:11

Craig Watkins
The Colbert ReportS5

Craig Watkins tries to bring back credibility to the criminal justice system by overturning wrongful convictions.
12/02/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for the show, everybody.
12/02/2009
00:31

Intro - 12/3/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Tiger Woods says he's sorry, Stephen has Olympic fever, and Janet Napolitano isn't securing the homeland.
12/03/2009
02:34

Tiger's Tale
The Colbert ReportS5

Tiger Woods didn't realize that cheating is a sacred institution between one man, one woman and one other woman.
12/03/2009
05:26

Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts - Zach Lund
The Colbert ReportS5

Zach Lund gives Stephen the history of skeleton racing before helping him try out for the Olympic team.
12/03/2009
06:04

Janet Napolitano
The Colbert ReportS5

Janet Napolitano discusses America's border security and explains why she doesn't believe in the color-coded terror alert level.
12/03/2009
00:25

Sign Off - Welcome Sean Julien
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen welcomes the newest member of the Colbert Nation, Sean Julien.
12/03/2009
04:30

Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen isn't attending the Vancouver Olympics just to ombud -- he's going as a member of the U.S. Olympic team.
12/03/2009
04:39

Tip/Wag - Jonas Brothers, Fox News & Japanese Burger King
The Colbert ReportS5

The Jonas Brothers promote the Xbox 360, Fox News enforces a new accuracy pledge, and Japanese Burger Kings sell a Windows 7 Whopper.
12/07/2009
02:05

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Tongue-Eating Parasite
The Colbert ReportS5

Scientists discover a parasitic fish off the coast of New Jersey that survives by eating and replacing the host's tongue.
12/07/2009
04:49

Bill T. Jones
The Colbert ReportS5

Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.
12/07/2009
00:35

Intro - 12/7/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen inflates his neck pouch to scare off predators and wonders what Disney movie "Fela!" is based on.
12/07/2009
03:04

Who's Attacking Me Now? - G. Edward DeSeve
The Colbert ReportS5

Stefan Colburt will fight G. Edward DeSeve anywhere in America, like Rhode Island's 65th District.
12/07/2009
05:02

Fed's Dead - Bernie Sanders
The Colbert ReportS5

Bernie Sanders doesn't want the government to run everything, but he calls for a fairer distribution of wealth and income.
12/08/2009
07:18

Andy Schlafly
The Colbert ReportS5

Andy Schlafly invites the best of the public to translate the Bible on Conservapedia.
12/08/2009
00:31

Intro - 12/8/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Ben Bernanke may lose his job, and Andy Schlafly creates a conservative version of Wikipedia.
12/08/2009
00:02

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for the show, everybody.
12/08/2009
05:32

Fed's Dead
The Colbert ReportS5

People like Bernie Sanders want to pull down the Federal Reserve's pantaloons to look at its fiscal naughty parts.
12/08/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
02:29

A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie

Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
Trailer
01:22

Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
Out of Office

A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
Trailer
00:35

A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
South ParkS25

Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022