The Colbert Report

Thompson Campaign

Season 3 • 07/25/2007

Fred Thompson might well both enter and drop out of the race in one speech.

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04:08

The Word - Modest Porpoisal
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests that by eating endangered animals we can prevent their extinction.
07/24/2007
04:20

Movies That Are Destroying America: Chuck and Larry
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen just hopes that "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" shows the dark side of gay marriage: Kevin James naked.
07/24/2007
01:52

Bush's Butt
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If the Bush administration is so secretive, would they have publicly handed over power to Dick Cheney while the president got a camera stuck up his butt?
07/24/2007
01:43

Joining the Illuminati
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen tried every crazy handshake he could think of when he met President Bush.
07/24/2007
00:30

Intro - 7/24/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discusses a scandal in the German zoo system, talks about the summer blockbuster season and interviews executive director of the ACLU, Anthony Romero.
07/24/2007
00:32

Intro - 7/25/07
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Scientists develop a removable tattoo, Fred Thompson demotes his campaign manager, and Stephen asks Charles Kaiser if there's a gay Superman.
07/25/2007
03:40

The Word - No Regrets
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen believes that you should never regret a decision but instead get it tattooed on your forehead.
07/25/2007
02:46

Hometown Hero Town - Bryce Canyon City
The Colbert ReportS3

In order to establish Colbert Report City, the show will now be taped in Utah. Go Jazz!
07/25/2007
06:00

Daily Kos
The Colbert ReportS3

Hey New York Times -- Stephen didn't spoil Harry Potter for you, don't ruin the war in Iraq for him.
07/25/2007
05:21

Charles Kaiser
The Colbert ReportS3

When Charles Kaiser suggests that New York is a gay metropolis because of critical mass, Stephen understands that to mean it's like a dangerous nuclear bomb.
07/25/2007
01:33

Thompson Campaign
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen believes America deserves a president who is ready to roll up his sleeves and get to work on a 52-ounce porterhouse.
07/25/2007
00:32

Intro - 7/26/07
The Colbert ReportS3

North Dakota seeks to legalize hemp farming, a goddess is stripped of her title, and Stephen asks Robert Shrum whether he advised Kerry to flip or to flop.
07/26/2007
06:32

Bob Shrum
The Colbert ReportS3

Democratic campaign strategist Bob Shrum wants to know if Stephen's wrist injury has made him reconsider his position on universal health care.
07/26/2007
06:04

Industrial Hemp & Medical Marijuana - Aaron Houston
The Colbert ReportS3

Medical marijuana advocate Aaron Houston tells Stephen the only thing you'd get from smoking hemp is the headache of your life.
07/26/2007
03:22

Advice to the Gods - Nepalese Pre-Teen Goddesses
The Colbert ReportS3

A top Kumari -- a pre-teen girl Nepalese Buddhists worship as a goddess -- was recently stripped of her divinity for visiting the United States.
07/26/2007
03:35

How Did Stephen Break His Wrist?
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen's left wrist is in a cast, though there's some confusion about what might have caused the injury.
07/26/2007
02:51

Wrist Violence - Glorification
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen dispels the rumor that he injured his wrist while punching out Korean strongman Kim Jong-il.
07/30/2007
05:29

Evan Osnos
The Colbert ReportS3

Chicago Tribune's Beijing Bureau Chief, Evan Osnos, argues that the American demand for cashmere has caused pollution clouds to travel from China to American soil.
07/30/2007
05:24

ThreatDown - Scottish Surgeons
The Colbert ReportS3

Thanks to Scottish surgeons, the only way America can protect its ports is by crossbreeding dolphins with Homeland Security director Michael Chertoff.
07/30/2007
02:48

The Word - Solidarity
The Colbert ReportS3

By hiring the homeless to picket for them, carpenters are protesting low wages and no benefits with low wages and no benefits.
07/30/2007
02:55

Pollution Immigration
The Colbert ReportS3

Polluted air from Asia, or "kung fumes," are taking away emphysema-related deaths from hardworking American pollutants.
07/30/2007
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