The Colbert Report
Intro - 1/7/13
Season 9 • 01/07/2013
America avoids a fiscal crisis, Bill O'Reilly faces the PC police, and Jimmy Wales talks Wikipedia.
The Colbert ReportS9 Simone Campbell
Sister Simone Campbell discusses her "Nuns on the Bus" tour and explains how Paul Ryan's budget battle fails Jesus and the Constitution.
The Colbert ReportS9 Uncensored - "Breaking Abbey"
First Lady Michelle Antoinette previews the next season of "Downton Abbey" while the world's commoners are left to fear what will become of the aristocrats.
The Colbert ReportS9 Colbert Super PAC - The Ham Rove Memorial Fund
Stephen prays that Colbert Super PAC money is in a better place, and Ham's charitable fund scores a hefty donation from PO Box "Bite Me."
The Colbert ReportS9 Hurricane Sandy Mega Concert
Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen and Eric Clapton were all just opening acts for rock legend Stephen Colbert at the 12/12/12 Hurricane Sandy benefit.
The Colbert ReportS9 The Platinum Debt Ceiling Solution
Minting trillion dollar platinum coins to pay off America's debt is legal in that it is not technically illegal.
The Colbert ReportS9 Blood in the Water - Bill O'Reilly's Racial Insensitivity
Wikipedia's elephants page has more protection than elephants, and the liberal media twists Bill O'Reilly's compliment about Asians.
The Colbert ReportS9 Jimmy Wales
Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales explains operating costs, censorship in China and the budding Wikivoyager.
The Colbert ReportS9 Fiscal Cliff Deal & Disincentives
Republicans accept President Obama's tax hikes on the wealthy, but luckily this horrible deal contains a few loopholes.
The Colbert ReportS9 Stephen's Holiday Break
Stephen spends the first six days of vacation just going to the bathroom.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/7/13
America dodges a financial crisis, the PC police attack Bill O'Reilly, and Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales chats about his free encyclopedia.
The Colbert ReportS9 Cheating Death - Rage & Blood Transfusions
People naturally blessed with soul-choking bitterness live longer than the terminally calm, and drinking young blood is a great alternative to exercising.
The Colbert ReportS9 Bin Laden Film Controversy
Since America is long overdue for a thorough investigation into its use of torture in movies, the Senate Intelligence Committee goes after "Zero Dark Thirty."
The Colbert ReportS9 Chris Kluwe
Chris Kluwe explains the punter's role and reiterates his support for pro-gay Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo.
The Colbert ReportS9 Postage Price Hike
The USPS Forever Stamp goes up by one penny, which proves the government can't do anything right.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - VACSA-TERN
Stephen sips on the blood of the young and admires himself in the mirror.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/8/13
Science finds the key to a long, healthy life, "Zero Dark Thirty" stirs up controversy, and NFL punter Chris Kluwe discusses gay rights advocacy.
The Colbert ReportS9 Neil Shubin
The biological scientist shares his book, "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People."
The Colbert ReportS9 Gun Control Backlash
Schools work armed officers into their prom themes, and former NRA President Marion Hammer knows that outlawing assault weapons is just another form of discrimination.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/9/13
America considers gun control, a troubling food addiction surfaces, and paleontologist Neil Shubin finds the missing link between sea and land creatures.
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