The Colbert Report
Intro - 1/7/13
Season 9 • 01/07/2013
America avoids a fiscal crisis, Bill O'Reilly faces the PC police, and Jimmy Wales talks Wikipedia.
Simone CampbellThe Colbert ReportS9
Sister Simone Campbell discusses her "Nuns on the Bus" tour and explains how Paul Ryan's budget battle fails Jesus and the Constitution.
Uncensored - "Breaking Abbey"The Colbert ReportS9
First Lady Michelle Antoinette previews the next season of "Downton Abbey" while the world's commoners are left to fear what will become of the aristocrats.
Colbert Super PAC - The Ham Rove Memorial FundThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen prays that Colbert Super PAC money is in a better place, and Ham's charitable fund scores a hefty donation from PO Box "Bite Me."
Hurricane Sandy Mega ConcertThe Colbert ReportS9
Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen and Eric Clapton were all just opening acts for rock legend Stephen Colbert at the 12/12/12 Hurricane Sandy benefit.
The Platinum Debt Ceiling SolutionThe Colbert ReportS9
Minting trillion dollar platinum coins to pay off America's debt is legal in that it is not technically illegal.
Blood in the Water - Bill O'Reilly's Racial InsensitivityThe Colbert ReportS9
Wikipedia's elephants page has more protection than elephants, and the liberal media twists Bill O'Reilly's compliment about Asians.
Jimmy WalesThe Colbert ReportS9
Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales explains operating costs, censorship in China and the budding Wikivoyager.
Fiscal Cliff Deal & DisincentivesThe Colbert ReportS9
Republicans accept President Obama's tax hikes on the wealthy, but luckily this horrible deal contains a few loopholes.
Stephen's Holiday BreakThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen spends the first six days of vacation just going to the bathroom.
Intro - 1/7/13The Colbert ReportS9
America dodges a financial crisis, the PC police attack Bill O'Reilly, and Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales chats about his free encyclopedia.
Cheating Death - Rage & Blood TransfusionsThe Colbert ReportS9
People naturally blessed with soul-choking bitterness live longer than the terminally calm, and drinking young blood is a great alternative to exercising.
Bin Laden Film ControversyThe Colbert ReportS9
Since America is long overdue for a thorough investigation into its use of torture in movies, the Senate Intelligence Committee goes after "Zero Dark Thirty."
Chris KluweThe Colbert ReportS9
Chris Kluwe explains the punter's role and reiterates his support for pro-gay Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo.
Postage Price HikeThe Colbert ReportS9
The USPS Forever Stamp goes up by one penny, which proves the government can't do anything right.
Sign Off - VACSA-TERNThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen sips on the blood of the young and admires himself in the mirror.
Intro - 1/8/13The Colbert ReportS9
Science finds the key to a long, healthy life, "Zero Dark Thirty" stirs up controversy, and NFL punter Chris Kluwe discusses gay rights advocacy.
Neil ShubinThe Colbert ReportS9
The biological scientist shares his book, "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People."
Gun Control BacklashThe Colbert ReportS9
Schools work armed officers into their prom themes, and former NRA President Marion Hammer knows that outlawing assault weapons is just another form of discrimination.
Intro - 1/9/13The Colbert ReportS9
America considers gun control, a troubling food addiction surfaces, and paleontologist Neil Shubin finds the missing link between sea and land creatures.
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