The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Jewish Stephen
Season 7 • 03/09/2011
Jewish Stephen is legally obligated to tell you to call your mother.
Sign Off - Welcome Zoe Simone SanchezThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen is sure Zoe Simone Sanchez is wearing a limited edition Vera Wang onesie.
Dan SinkerThe Colbert ReportS7
Dan Sinker questions the sanity of anyone who actually thought he was Rahm Emanuel on Twitter.
Happy Mardi Gras & International Women's DayThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen celebrates women's regrettable self-exposure and their achievements on Mardi Gras Day.
Charlie Sheen & Fake Rahm Emanuel on TwitterThe Colbert ReportS7
Charlie Sheen gets a new gig as Twitter overlord, and the fake Rahm Emanuel is unmasked.
Light Bulb BanThe Colbert ReportS7
The socket huggers claim that pigtail bulbs last up to 10 years, but they haven't considered how the efficient lights will affect the joke-telling industry.
Bench Press - Anthony WeinerThe Colbert ReportS7
Anthony Weiner wants to ensure that the Supreme Court upholds a standard of ethics by asking Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from health care cases.
Intro - 3/9/11The Colbert ReportS7
Clarence Thomas may have a conflict of interest, and Stephen hopes David Brooks' book, "The Social Animal," is about a hamster on Facebook.
David BrooksThe Colbert ReportS7
David Brooks describes the way unconscious emotions affect people's decisions and values.
Stephen Gives Up Catholicism for LentThe Colbert ReportS7
Giving up Catholicism for Lent shows Stephen's devotion to the great religion that he no longer practices.
Bench PressThe Colbert ReportS7
If every Supreme Court justice had to recuse themselves over a conflict of interest, we would never see John Roberts' NASCAR robe.
Sign Off - Jewish StephenThe Colbert ReportS7
Now that Stephen is Jewish, he is legally obligated to tell you to call your mother.
Sign Off - Enjoy the MomentThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen wants everyone to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment.
Newt Gingrich Wants to Screw AmericaThe Colbert ReportS7
Newt Gingrich only cheated on his wives because he's so passionate about America.
Colbert PAC AdThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen launches ColbertPAC.com with his very own high-budget promotional video.
Peter King Understands Violent RadicalismThe Colbert ReportS7
Tennessee fights back against Sharia law, and Peter King holds a hearing to investigate radical American Muslims.
Colbert PAC AdThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen shows support for Tim Pawlenty's courage to stand next to Scott Walker with a patriotic message.
Intro - 3/10/11The Colbert ReportS7
Al Qaeda recruits Americans, and Reza Aslan will talk about the Islamic-American experience if he makes it past Stephen's security.
Reza AslanThe Colbert ReportS7
Reza Aslan thinks Peter King's hearings to investigate Muslim radicalization are a useless enterprise.
Intro - 3/21/11The Colbert ReportS7
The escalating conflict in Libya means good news for troops, Stephen's self-portrait goes up for auction, and Steve Martin does some bluegrass.
Raging Art-On - Art 1The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen talks to Simon de Pury and checks out the competition at the Phillips de Pury Gallery.
You may also like5 Videos
Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"South ParkS26
Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of LaughsStar Trek: very Short TreksS1
Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack
A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed FriendsCursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.