The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 07/20/2009
Bob Park doesn't see any reason for man to go to space.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/16/09
Stephen is emotionally dead inside, and Ed Andrews should write about teen vampires if he wants to get out of debt.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Memy Awards
Stephen announces the nominees for the Memy Awards' one and only category: Outstanding Individual.
The Colbert ReportS5 Edmund Andrews
Edmund Andrews explains how he fell victim to the mortgage crisis as a New York Times economics reporter.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Diabetes Dogs, Chocolate Milk & Swearing in Pain
Dogs help fight diabetes, chocolate milk replaces sports drinks, and swearing after an injury alleviates pain.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Stephen Wins
If you've had half as much fun watching the show as Stephen has had doing it, then he's had twice as much fun.
The Colbert ReportS5 Walter Cronkite Remembered
Walter Cronkite's passing doesn't get the kind of cable news attention Stephen believes it deserves.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Jessica Simpson, Olympic Brothel & Bud Light
Tony Romo breaks up with Jessica Simpson, an Olympic hopeful opens a brothel, and Stephen loves the taste of Bud Light.
The Colbert ReportS5 Reverse Racism - Geoffrey Canada
Geoffrey Canada can't find any area where white men are being disproportionately victimized.
The Colbert ReportS5 Reverse Racism
As a recent black man, Stephen looks forward to hearing President Obama's NAACP speech.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bob Park
Bob Park doesn't understand why humans need go to space when robots can do a better job.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - A Perfect World
Investigating prisoner abuse will be a political food fight, and that is messier than torture.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a Lobby - Acorn
Acorn's chief community organizer, Bertha Lewis, needs to know the number of Stephen's sexual partners for her census form.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Stephen's Chip
The opinions expressed tonight are exclusively Stephen's -- the chip in his head only makes suggestions.
The Colbert ReportS5 Aaron Carroll
Aaron Carroll believes the single-payer system will cost less, cover everyone and lead to better outcomes.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/21/09
Stephen will be the mighty oak when he investigates Acorn, and Aaron Carroll believes America should have a single-payer system.
The Colbert ReportS5 40th Anniversary of the Moon Landing
To celebrate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, Stephen re-airs his historic broadcast from July 20, 1969.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sniper Trifle
The only huge surprise about Dick Cheney having his own secret assassination squad is that it didn't include cannibalism.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/22/09
The truth behind the CIA's secret assassination squad is revealed, and Chris Anderson talks about a future economy where everything is free.
The Colbert ReportS5 Chris Anderson
Chris Anderson explains how it's possible for companies to make money by providing free services.
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