The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Home Improvement Tip
Season 7 • 01/03/2011
Fix a leaky roof by moving into a neighbor's house and causing their marriage to end.
Scanner-Defying PancakesThe Colbert ReportS6
Pancakes will allow law-abiding citizens to hide their private parts from the hungry eyes of those TSA perverts.
Paul SimonThe Colbert ReportS6
Paul Simon talks about how he sampled a sermon from 1941 for his first Christmas song.
Amy SedarisThe Colbert ReportS6
Amy Sedaris shows how to save money by freezing cookie crumbs for the office holiday party.
Jesus Is a Liberal DemocratThe Colbert ReportS6
Jesus was always flapping his gums about the poor, but not once did he call for tax cuts for the wealthiest two percent of Romans.
Christmas Holy WeekThe Colbert ReportS6
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid threatens to make lawmakers work on the holy week after Christmas.
Ed RendellThe Colbert ReportS7
Ed Rendell explains that America is wussing out by not doing anything about China and canceling football games because of weather.
Snowpocalypse 2010The Colbert ReportS7
Because of a dusting of 30 inches of snow, the NFL postpones a Vikings-Eagles game from Sunday to Tuesday.
Intro - 1/3/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen looks into charities' possible misuse of funds, uncovers a menace in Florida and asks Ed Rendell how it feels to be the only Democrat leaving office by choice.
Tip/Wag - Susan G. Komen Foundation & Spider-Man MusicalThe Colbert ReportS7
The Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation spends donor funds to sue other charities, and Spider-Man saves Broadway with violent disfigurement.
The Enemy Within - Caboodle RanchThe Colbert ReportS7
In Lee, Florida, Craig Grant trains his 650 cats to take over America's government, law enforcement and failing schools.
Sign Off - Home Improvement TipThe Colbert ReportS7
Fix a leaky roof by hammering the electrical box, moving into a neighbor's house and causing the end of their marriage.
Native American OverlordsThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen addresses America's new Indian overlords after President Obama endorses the U.N.'s declaration on the rights of indigenous peoples.
Geoffrey CanadaThe Colbert ReportS7
Geoffrey Canada works to educate kids and teach them how to grow up without using violence.
Gold FaithfulThe Colbert ReportS7
Jay the Intern demonstrates how well the gold standard works when he delivers Stephen's coffee and his change.
Sign Off - 12 Dutchmen AnswerThe Colbert ReportS7
Tune in tomorrow when Stephen provides the question to tonight's answer: 12 Dutchmen dangling from a hot air balloon.
Intro - 1/4/11The Colbert ReportS7
Strippers will need stronger g-strings if the dollar gets converted back to gold, and Geoffrey Canada advocates for education reform.
Gold Faithful - Ron Paul & David LeonhardtThe Colbert ReportS7
Ron Paul wants to return to the gold standard, while David Leonhardt explains why Americans don't need to worry about inflation.
Intro - 1/5/11The Colbert ReportS7
The threat level of America's fruit supply is at orange, and Dr. Atul Gawande wants to reduce health risks in hospitals.
Huckleberry Finn CensorshipThe Colbert ReportS7
NewSouth Books doesn't go far enough with its censorship of "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."
Sign Off - Dark Side of the MoonThe Colbert ReportS7
If you've been syncing this episode with Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon," now is the time to hit stop and call your nearest rehab center.
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