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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
William Bratton
Season 5 • 11/04/2009
William Bratton wants to take the American police force model to other parts of the world.
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00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 11/5/09
Canadian athletes dope with beaver musk to gain an unfair advantage at the Winter Games, and William Bratton runs from the law.
11/04/2009
00:27
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 11/4/09
Stephen takes a wait-and-swim approach to global warming and talks to Harold Evans about the newspaper business.
11/04/2009
05:00
The Colbert Report
S5
Formidable Opponent - Global Warming With Al Gore
Al Gore explains to Stephen and Stephen and Al Gore that stopping global warming doesn't have to hurt the economy.
11/04/2009
06:39
The Colbert Report
S5
Harold Evans
Harold Evans talks about being married to Tina Brown, getting knighted by the queen and exposing spies in the British government.
11/04/2009
01:56
The Colbert Report
S5
Guy-Fawkers
Michele Bachmann one-ups the tea party protests by holding a health care reform rally on Guy Fawkes Day.
11/04/2009
03:31
The Colbert Report
S5
'09 Off-Year Semi-Presidential Electferendum
Barack Obama loses the New Jersey and Virginia gubernatorial races, and Chris Christie uses Monty Python to attack Jon Corzine.
11/04/2009
02:47
The Colbert Report
S5
Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh & Us Weekly
Rush Limbaugh has no clue about who will beat Barack Obama in 2012, and Us Weekly judges celebrities' kids on their appearance.
11/04/2009
04:50
The Colbert Report
S5
Cheating Death - Swine Flu Scam Detector & Vaxaconda
The Prescott Swine Flu Scam Detector exposes fake treatments, while Vaxaconda prevents kidney failure and rodent infestations.
11/04/2009
00:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Donate to U.S. Speedskating
Don't forget to donate to the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/04/2009
00:12
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Poison Gas
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here -- Stephen's flooding the studio with poison gas.
11/04/2009
04:33
The Colbert Report
S5
William Bratton
William Bratton works to take the American police force model to emerging democracies and post-conflict nations.
11/04/2009
02:51
The Colbert Report
S5
Trouble, Coverage
The House Democrats pass health care reform while Republicans are at home watching Wanda Sykes' new show.
11/09/2009
03:10
The Colbert Report
S5
U.S. Speedskating Team Takes Gold
Thanks to the Colbert Nation, the U.S. Speedskating team wins the gold at the World Cup.
11/09/2009
00:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 11/9/09
The House passes a health care bill late Saturday night, and Stephen ignores Thomas Campbell's suggested donation request.
11/09/2009
07:56
The Colbert Report
S5
Better Know a District - Delaware's At-Large - Mike Castle
Congressman Mike Castle doesn't believe Delaware should allow people to marry chickens.
11/09/2009
05:19
The Colbert Report
S5
Thomas Campbell
Thomas Campbell explains to Stephen why people come to see art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
11/09/2009
00:03
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Goodnight
Stephen says goodnight.
11/09/2009
00:09
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - You Can't Take It With You
You can't take it with you, but you can lick it so no one else takes it when you're gone.
11/10/2009
00:30
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 11/10/09
The Iranian revolution celebrates 30 years, and Stephen assumes Maria Shriver's new charity is California.
11/10/2009
02:21
The Colbert Report
S5
Barney Frank Is Not a Great Outdoorsman
Just because Barney Frank authored a bill to legalize medical marijuana doesn't mean he could recognize a pot plant.
11/10/2009
05:17
The Colbert Report
S5
Maria Shriver
Maria Shriver feeds Stephen Lovin' Scoopful, her new ice cream that benefits Special Olympics.
11/10/2009
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