The Colbert Report
America Needs to See Obama's Report Cards
Season 7 • 04/27/2011
Hopefully, Barack Obama didn't bring gum for everyone in class, because that would be socialism.
Mitt Romney's "Peacetime" GaffeThe Colbert ReportS7
Haley Barbour ends his daring presidential campaign, and Mitt Romney nails Obama on a peacetime spending binge.
Charles Manson Believes in Global WarmingThe Colbert ReportS7
Charles Manson makes the case for climate change, and Harvey Wayne Wilkes supports Obamacare and cannibalism.
A.C. GraylingThe Colbert ReportS7
A.C. Grayling's humanist Bible, "The Good Book," is a collection of great wisdom, but it's nothing Stephen would kill somebody else over.
Intro - 4/26/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen can't hear the climate change debate over his crackling tire fire, and A.C. Grayling writes a secular Bible.
Tip/Wag - FAA, Casio Watches & Postal ServiceThe Colbert ReportS7
The FAA needs to put sleepy air traffic controllers in coach seats, Casio becomes the wristwatch of terrorists, and the postal service prints the wrong Lady Liberty.
Anderson Cooper Goes on the Absurd-U-ChartThe Colbert ReportS7
Anderson Cooper and his RidicuList go on the chart reserved for things that Stephen finds offensively absurd.
Ice-TThe Colbert ReportS7
Even though Ice-T has never done drugs, Stephen wants to know where to score some pure, uncut street cred.
Intro - 4/27/11The Colbert ReportS7
The new danger in air travel comes with a $25 fee, MSNBC steals CNN's viewer, and Ice-T talks about his memoir.
Sign Off - Goodnight in SpanishThe Colbert ReportS7
For tonight's goodnight in Spanish, please pack your bags and leave the country.
America Needs to See Obama's Report CardsThe Colbert ReportS7
Barack Obama releases his long-form birth certificate, but Donald Trump wants the president's Occidental records.
Intro - 4/28/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen travels to England for the royal wedding, points out the Tower of Buckingham and asks Wade Graham about Covent Garden.
Sign Off - Off to the Royal WeddingThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen still doesn't have an invitation to the royal wedding, but he's going anyway.
Wade GrahamThe Colbert ReportS7
Wade Graham reveals what American gardens in closets with grow lights say about the culture.
Homeland Security Eliminates Color-Coded Terror Alert SystemThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen unclenches his sphincter when he realizes a government color chart no longer validates his paranoia.
Progressives United - Russ FeingoldThe Colbert ReportS7
Russ Feingold starts Progressives United to muzzle the voices of minority corporations in the political process.
Stephen Waits for His Royal Wedding Invitation in LondonThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen perfectly reproduces his set in London, complete with fog off the Thames, a Manchester United fan and an authentic cockney character.
Francis FukuyamaThe Colbert ReportS7
Francis Fukuyama believes Osama bin Laden's death weakens the argument for American troops staying in Afghanistan.
Relations With Pakistan - Richard HaassThe Colbert ReportS7
Richard Haass explains what Osama bin Laden's death means for America's relations with Pakistan.
Sign Off - Obama's Timer Runs OutThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen has given President Obama enough credit for Osama bin Laden's death.
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