The Colbert Report
America Needs to See Obama's Report Cards
Season 7 • 04/27/2011
Hopefully, Barack Obama didn't bring gum for everyone in class, because that would be socialism.
The Colbert ReportS7 Mitt Romney's "Peacetime" Gaffe
Haley Barbour ends his daring presidential campaign, and Mitt Romney nails Obama on a peacetime spending binge.
The Colbert ReportS7 Charles Manson Believes in Global Warming
Charles Manson makes the case for climate change, and Harvey Wayne Wilkes supports Obamacare and cannibalism.
The Colbert ReportS7 A.C. Grayling
A.C. Grayling's humanist Bible, "The Good Book," is a collection of great wisdom, but it's nothing Stephen would kill somebody else over.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 4/26/11
Stephen can't hear the climate change debate over his crackling tire fire, and A.C. Grayling writes a secular Bible.
The Colbert ReportS7 Tip/Wag - FAA, Casio Watches & Postal Service
The FAA needs to put sleepy air traffic controllers in coach seats, Casio becomes the wristwatch of terrorists, and the postal service prints the wrong Lady Liberty.
The Colbert ReportS7 Anderson Cooper Goes on the Absurd-U-Chart
Anderson Cooper and his RidicuList go on the chart reserved for things that Stephen finds offensively absurd.
The Colbert ReportS7 Ice-T
Even though Ice-T has never done drugs, Stephen wants to know where to score some pure, uncut street cred.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 4/27/11
The new danger in air travel comes with a $25 fee, MSNBC steals CNN's viewer, and Ice-T talks about his memoir.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Goodnight in Spanish
For tonight's goodnight in Spanish, please pack your bags and leave the country.
The Colbert ReportS7 America Needs to See Obama's Report Cards
Barack Obama releases his long-form birth certificate, but Donald Trump wants the president's Occidental records.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 4/28/11
Stephen travels to England for the royal wedding, points out the Tower of Buckingham and asks Wade Graham about Covent Garden.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Off to the Royal Wedding
Stephen still doesn't have an invitation to the royal wedding, but he's going anyway.
The Colbert ReportS7 Wade Graham
Wade Graham reveals what American gardens in closets with grow lights say about the culture.
The Colbert ReportS7 Homeland Security Eliminates Color-Coded Terror Alert System
Stephen unclenches his sphincter when he realizes a government color chart no longer validates his paranoia.
The Colbert ReportS7 Progressives United - Russ Feingold
Russ Feingold starts Progressives United to muzzle the voices of minority corporations in the political process.
The Colbert ReportS7 Stephen Waits for His Royal Wedding Invitation in London
Stephen perfectly reproduces his set in London, complete with fog off the Thames, a Manchester United fan and an authentic cockney character.
The Colbert ReportS7 Francis Fukuyama
Francis Fukuyama believes Osama bin Laden's death weakens the argument for American troops staying in Afghanistan.
The Colbert ReportS7 Relations With Pakistan - Richard Haass
Richard Haass explains what Osama bin Laden's death means for America's relations with Pakistan.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Obama's Timer Runs Out
Stephen has given President Obama enough credit for Osama bin Laden's death.
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