The Colbert Report

Women's Health-Nazi Plan

Season 7 • 08/03/2011

Barack Obama is creating an army of flesh-thirsty young sluts with America's tax dollars.

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03:18

America's Credit Grating
The Colbert ReportS7

America should handle credit ratings agencies the way it does all terrorists: by marching the marines into their offices and whisking them off to Gitmo.
08/02/2011
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03:47

Newt Gingrich's Twitter Scandal
The Colbert ReportS7

Allegations arise that 80% of Newt Gingrich's Twitter followers aren't real, but making up people may be the key to keeping his campaign alive.
08/02/2011
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05:41

Al Hunt
The Colbert ReportS7

Bloomberg News' Al Hunt believes Barack Obama lost the debt ceiling negotiation, but he doesn't think the Republicans won.
08/02/2011
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00:07

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen shoots WristStrong bands into the audience and says goodnight.
08/02/2011
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03:04

Baby Teeth Economy
The Colbert ReportS7

In order to get the soft tooth market back up, kids must reduce baby teeth inventory and stop losing teeth.
08/02/2011
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00:07

Sign Off - Official Flag Updater
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen considers the legitimacy of the states in his American flag sampler.
08/03/2011
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07:30

ThreatDown - Fake States, Sharia Weather & Monopoly
The Colbert ReportS7

The state of North Dakota may not exist, subversive weather blows into Arizona, and the classic American game of anti-trust law violation gets a makeover.
08/03/2011
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00:37

Intro - 8/3/11
The Colbert ReportS7

An old kids' game gets updated, the government gives women new health guidelines, and Robert Wittman investigates art crime.
08/03/2011
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05:09

Robert Wittman
The Colbert ReportS7

Art crime investigator Robert Wittman recovers stolen paintings around the world and explains the challenges of museum security.
08/03/2011
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02:32

Multiracial Spider-Man
The Colbert ReportS7

A half-black, half-Hispanic Spider-Man replaces a dead Peter Parker, setting a terrible precedent for superhero diversity.
08/03/2011
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04:42

Women's Health-Nazi Plan
The Colbert ReportS7

Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites.
08/03/2011
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00:34

Intro - 8/4/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Somebody snuck a vegetable into Wisconsin, baseball's cherished records face a threat, and Anthony Bourdain travels the world in search of great food.
08/04/2011
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02:52

Wisconsin's Recall Election & Americans for Prosperity's Absentee Ballot Typos
The Colbert ReportS7

The Koch brothers-funded Americans for Prosperity PAC sends absentee ballot applications with minor inaccuracies to Wisconsin's Democratic districts.
08/04/2011
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04:47

Anthony Bourdain
The Colbert ReportS7

Chef Anthony Bourdain worries about the ballooning of Americans and occasionally eats endangered birds with a hood over his head.
08/04/2011
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00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen signs off by saying goodnight.
08/04/2011
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03:33

Barack Obama's 50th Birthday
The Colbert ReportS7

Barack Obama throws himself a lavish birthday party instead of working on the economy, so the recession will last four hours longer.
08/04/2011
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04:36

Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records & MLB's Twitter Feed
The Colbert ReportS7

Two of the grid diamond's lowest records might fall, and MLB gets in on gambling, giving Stephen control of their Twitter feed.
08/04/2011
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04:21

Colbert Super PAC - The Heroes Respond
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen calls on the Colbert Nation to send in more suggestions for the direction of his Super PAC, in addition to more money.
08/04/2011
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06:00

Colbert Super PAC - Rick Perry for President
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen already licked the Rick Perry for President donut, so all the other Super PAC bitches better back off.
08/08/2011
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06:54

Nassir Ghaemi
The Colbert ReportS7

Psychiatrist Nassir Ghaemi believes that mental illness can foster great leadership, but the Republican presidential candidates are too "normal."
08/08/2011
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03:35

America's Credit Downgrade
The Colbert ReportS7

The credit downgrade reduces Americans to waffle-eating Kiwis who put mayonnaise on their French fries and have a serious Hobbit infestation.
08/08/2011
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