The Colbert Report

Women's Health-Nazi Plan

Season 7 • 08/03/2011

Barack Obama is creating an army of flesh-thirsty young sluts with America's tax dollars.

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03:18

The Colbert ReportS7
America's Credit Grating

America should handle credit ratings agencies the way it does all terrorists: by marching the marines into their offices and whisking them off to Gitmo.
08/02/2011
03:47

The Colbert ReportS7
Newt Gingrich's Twitter Scandal

Allegations arise that 80% of Newt Gingrich's Twitter followers aren't real, but making up people may be the key to keeping his campaign alive.
08/02/2011
05:41

The Colbert ReportS7
Al Hunt

Bloomberg News' Al Hunt believes Barack Obama lost the debt ceiling negotiation, but he doesn't think the Republicans won.
08/02/2011
00:07

The Colbert ReportS7
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen shoots WristStrong bands into the audience and says goodnight.
08/02/2011
03:04

The Colbert ReportS7
Baby Teeth Economy

In order to get the soft tooth market back up, kids must reduce baby teeth inventory and stop losing teeth.
08/02/2011
00:07

The Colbert ReportS7
Sign Off - Official Flag Updater

Stephen considers the legitimacy of the states in his American flag sampler.
08/03/2011
07:30

The Colbert ReportS7
ThreatDown - Fake States, Sharia Weather & Monopoly

The state of North Dakota may not exist, subversive weather blows into Arizona, and the classic American game of anti-trust law violation gets a makeover.
08/03/2011
00:37

The Colbert ReportS7
Intro - 8/3/11

An old kids' game gets updated, the government gives women new health guidelines, and Robert Wittman investigates art crime.
08/03/2011
05:09

The Colbert ReportS7
Robert Wittman

Art crime investigator Robert Wittman recovers stolen paintings around the world and explains the challenges of museum security.
08/03/2011
02:32

The Colbert ReportS7
Multiracial Spider-Man

A half-black, half-Hispanic Spider-Man replaces a dead Peter Parker, setting a terrible precedent for superhero diversity.
08/03/2011
04:42

The Colbert ReportS7
Women's Health-Nazi Plan

Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites.
08/03/2011
00:34

The Colbert ReportS7
Intro - 8/4/11

Somebody snuck a vegetable into Wisconsin, baseball's cherished records face a threat, and Anthony Bourdain travels the world in search of great food.
08/04/2011
02:52

The Colbert ReportS7
Wisconsin's Recall Election & Americans for Prosperity's Absentee Ballot Typos

The Koch brothers-funded Americans for Prosperity PAC sends absentee ballot applications with minor inaccuracies to Wisconsin's Democratic districts.
08/04/2011
04:47

The Colbert ReportS7
Anthony Bourdain

Chef Anthony Bourdain worries about the ballooning of Americans and occasionally eats endangered birds with a hood over his head.
08/04/2011
00:06

The Colbert ReportS7
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen signs off by saying goodnight.
08/04/2011
03:33

The Colbert ReportS7
Barack Obama's 50th Birthday

Barack Obama throws himself a lavish birthday party instead of working on the economy, so the recession will last four hours longer.
08/04/2011
04:36

The Colbert ReportS7
Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records & MLB's Twitter Feed

Two of the grid diamond's lowest records might fall, and MLB gets in on gambling, giving Stephen control of their Twitter feed.
08/04/2011
04:21

The Colbert ReportS7
Colbert Super PAC - The Heroes Respond

Stephen calls on the Colbert Nation to send in more suggestions for the direction of his Super PAC, in addition to more money.
08/04/2011
06:00

The Colbert ReportS7
Colbert Super PAC - Rick Perry for President

Stephen already licked the Rick Perry for President donut, so all the other Super PAC bitches better back off.
08/08/2011
06:54

The Colbert ReportS7
Nassir Ghaemi

Psychiatrist Nassir Ghaemi believes that mental illness can foster great leadership, but the Republican presidential candidates are too "normal."
08/08/2011
03:35

The Colbert ReportS7
America's Credit Downgrade

The credit downgrade reduces Americans to waffle-eating Kiwis who put mayonnaise on their French fries and have a serious Hobbit infestation.
08/08/2011
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