The Colbert Report

You've Been Scootered!

Season 3 • 06/05/2007

Stephen gives Scooter Libby some advice for his trip to the Graybar Hotel.

More

Watching

00:08

Sign Off - Mardi Gras Mask
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wears his Mardi Gras mask to say good night.
06/04/2007
00:48

Democratic Presidential Debate - Venue
The Colbert ReportS3

Though Stephen did not watch the Democratic presidential debate, he can assume he knows what the candidates said anyway.
06/04/2007
06:37

Jan Schakowsky
The Colbert ReportS3

Now that America has won back the hot dog eating crown, Stephen discusses Hunger Awareness Day and the rising prices of food.
06/04/2007
00:32

Intro - 6/4/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, America reclaims the hot dog eating crown, Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky spends a week living off food stamps and Stephen interviews Bard College president Leon Botstein.
06/04/2007
06:44

Jessica Valenti
The Colbert ReportS3

Jessica Valenti has a hard time believing that the girls in the "Girls Gone Wild" videos are flashing their breasts for their own pleasure.
06/05/2007
01:52

The God Machine?
The Colbert ReportS3

The disturbing news about the new iPhone is that Stephen doesn't have one yet.
06/05/2007
02:09

When Animals Attack Our Morals - Flamingos
The Colbert ReportS3

A pair of gay flamingos has raised fifteen flamingo chicks, all from eggs poached from other traditional flamingo nests.
06/05/2007
02:07

Yahoo Korea - Rain
The Colbert ReportS3

Koreans have been trying to keep the white man down, ever since we invaded their country.
06/05/2007
04:19

The Word - Mission Control
The Colbert ReportS3

NASA's Michael Griffin made their mission statement better by deleting any mention of planet protection.
06/05/2007
00:35

Intro - 6/5/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Tonight, Stephen reports on Scooter Libby's prison sentence, discusses the new iPhone and interviews author Jessica Valenti.
06/05/2007
01:59

You've Been Scootered!
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen advises Scooter Libby to start a gang in prison with Duke Cunningham.
06/05/2007
01:48

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Octopi
The Colbert ReportS3

One day octopi are twisting open bottles, the next they're twisting open submarine hatch doors.
06/06/2007
04:55

Carl Bernstein
The Colbert ReportS3

Carl Bernstein's new book "A Woman in Charge" is about Hillary Clinton. Stephen hopes it has a happy ending.
06/06/2007
00:32

Intro - 6/6/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Tonight, Stephen reports on Democrat candidates talking about God, discusses global warming and talks to author Carl Bernstein about his new biography.
06/06/2007
03:40

Sinner Edwards
The Colbert ReportS3

Asking Democrats about their religion is like asking Mel Gibson how he enjoyed his Passover.
06/06/2007
04:39

Tip/Wag - Deep Purple
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen tips his hat to bookseller Tom Wayne and Genosis, and wags his finger at Fox News and guitar players.
06/06/2007
03:50

The Word - Airogance
The Colbert ReportS3

Who's to say that we presently have the best climate when there are so many other climates we haven't tried yet?
06/06/2007
02:04

Pope Jump
The Colbert ReportS3

Whenever anything happens to the pope, people ask Stephen to interpret it -- he's kinda like the pope's pope.
06/07/2007
06:00

Cullen Murphy
The Colbert ReportS3

Cullen Murphy, author of "Are We Rome?," wonders if America is like the Roman Empire.
06/07/2007
07:25

Better Know a District - Washington's 9th - Adam Smith
The Colbert ReportS3

After 10 years at his job, there is still a lot that Representative Adam Smith doesn't know about his district or himself.
06/07/2007
00:08

Sign Off - Vomitorium
The Colbert ReportS3

The show is over, and Stephen is heading to the vomitorium.
06/07/2007
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
Trailer
01:22

Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
Out of Office

A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
Trailer
00:35

A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
South ParkS25

Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022
Trailer
00:29

Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday
Hot Mess Holiday

Melanie Chandra and Surina Jindal embark on a zany weekend adventure during Diwali in the Comedy Central original movie Hot Mess Holiday, now streaming.
12/20/2021