The Colbert Report
Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Paraphrase
Season 7 • 09/07/2011
Martin Luther King Jr. gets the Reader's Digest treatment on his memorial.
The Colbert ReportS7 Michele Bachmann's Natural Disaster Metaphor
In Michele Bachmann's metaphor, God represents the American people, politicians represent themselves, and the hurricane represents the earthquake.
The Colbert ReportS7 Cheating Death - Placebocisers & Vaxamalgam
The American Council on Exercise finds that toning shoes offer no benefits, and pharmaceutical companies create two-for-one combination pills to extend their patents.
The Colbert ReportS7 The Word - Happy Endings
Since people know how everything ends, they can either worry or they can enjoy the show.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Placebocisers
Stephen puts on Prescott Orthopedics' shin-core toning Placebociser.
The Colbert ReportS7 Tim Pawlenty
Tim Pawlenty discusses his reasons for dropping out of the presidential race and endorses Stephen in the 2012 election.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Stephen Uses His iPad
Stephen takes a break from his iPad to say good night.
The Colbert ReportS7 This Weak in National Secowardty
Whenever terrorists come up with a new way to attack air travel, the TSA finds innovative ways to overreact, but all that security is about to disappear.
The Colbert ReportS7 Robin Wright
Robin Wright believes that, by rejecting extremism, Muslims have created the most important political turning point of the early 21st century.
The Colbert ReportS7 PARRY-with-an-A-GATE! - Day 26 - Update
WOI station manager and men's room Emmy fluffer Ray Cole sends an update on the Rick Parry write-in scandal.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 9/7/11
Controversy erupts over a DC monument, Des Moines may be hiding something, and Robin Wright discusses her book on the Arab Spring.
The Colbert ReportS7 Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Paraphrase
Controversy develops around the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial, and not just because the sculptor mistakenly made him white.
The Colbert ReportS7 Barack Obama's Jobs Speech
To reach the unemployed, Barack Obama should deliver his speech when the unemployed are watching TV: at 3 a.m., right after a Slap Chop commercial.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Old Milwaukee Beer
Stephen says good night and sips from his can of Old Milwaukee.
The Colbert ReportS7 Republican Presidential Debate Media Coverage
All the 2012 election media coverage until now has been bulls**t, but everything from here out is crucial, life-or-death stuff.
The Colbert ReportS7 Tom Brokaw
Tom Brokaw recalls the experience of reporting on the 9/11 attacks and explores how Americans have been shaped by the tragedy.
The Colbert ReportS7 Rick Perry Presents
Rick Perry takes on the 800-pound gorilla in the room, being stomped on by the elephant in the room, being ridden by the emperor who has no clothes: Social Security.
The Colbert ReportS7 Diane Sawyer
Diane Sawyer discusses the unedited recordings of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, released 50 years after John F. Kennedy's inauguration.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Stephen's Mug
Stephen says goodnight and takes a big swig from his Colbert Report mug.
The Colbert ReportS7 Shopping Griefportunities
If Americans can exploit the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks to make a quick buck, it's like hitting the terrorists with economic Jujitsu.
The Colbert ReportS7 Stephen Reports on an Old-Fashioned Hero
Newspapers are part of America's past, like buggy whip makers and the middle class, but they still perform an important function.
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