The Colbert Report

Stephen Wants an iPad 2

Season 7 • 03/07/2011

Stephen wants an iPad 2 because his original iPad is such a hunk of crap.

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05:30

The Colbert ReportS7
Mark Moffett

Mark Moffett says plants need an animal intermediary to carry the pollen to the next plant and do the deed.
03/03/2011
02:28

The Colbert ReportS7
Fox News Suspends Contributors

Fox News sets a bad precedent by suspending two contributors who might be running for president.
03/03/2011
06:43

The Colbert ReportS7
Ice Cream Fight with Jimmy Fallon

The only way to settle the fight between Jimmy Fallon and Stephen is with an ice cream eating contest.
03/03/2011
04:36

The Colbert ReportS7
Ice Cream Hallucination With Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon and Stephen enter into an altered state of butter pe-consciousness so they can learn to be friends.
03/03/2011
00:10

The Colbert ReportS7
Sign Off - Late Night Snack

Stephen's got to say that Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack flavor is pretty good.
03/03/2011
06:25

The Colbert ReportS7
On Notice - Mike Huckabee

Mike Huckabee is On Notice until he says something that will get him unwanted attention on The Colbert Report.
03/07/2011
06:02

The Colbert ReportS7
Joshua Foer

Joshua Foer explains that having a European coach was like bringing a gun to a knife fight at the U.S. Memory Championship.
03/07/2011
02:12

The Colbert ReportS7
Art Stephen Up Challenge - Bid on Stephen's Portrait

Stephen invites average Americans with giant sacks of cash to bid on his portrait and unveils the latest no-prize-winning entry.
03/07/2011
02:33

The Colbert ReportS7
America's Next GOP Model

Every American will sort of remember where they were when Newt Gingrich almost said he might be running for president.
03/07/2011
00:35

The Colbert ReportS7
Intro - 3/7/11

Stephen reveals the first Republican to enter the presidential race, looks at Obama's past, and asks Joshua Foer where he put his car keys.
03/07/2011
02:45

The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen Wants an iPad 2

Stephen would be the appiest man in the world if Apple gave him an iPad 2 and a panini press.
03/07/2011
03:59

The Colbert ReportS7
Light Bulb Ban - Dale Bryk

Dale Bryk says the new and improved incandescent light bulbs use less energy and will put a dent in the deficit.
03/08/2011
00:37

The Colbert ReportS7
Sign Off - Welcome Zoe Simone Sanchez

Stephen is sure Zoe Simone Sanchez is wearing a limited edition Vera Wang onesie.
03/08/2011
06:03

The Colbert ReportS7
Dan Sinker

Dan Sinker questions the sanity of anyone who actually thought he was Rahm Emanuel on Twitter.
03/08/2011
02:13

The Colbert ReportS7
Happy Mardi Gras & International Women's Day

Stephen celebrates women's regrettable self-exposure and their achievements on Mardi Gras Day.
03/08/2011
03:18

The Colbert ReportS7
Charlie Sheen & Fake Rahm Emanuel on Twitter

Charlie Sheen gets a new gig as Twitter overlord, and the fake Rahm Emanuel is unmasked.
03/08/2011
04:17

The Colbert ReportS7
Light Bulb Ban

The socket huggers claim that pigtail bulbs last up to 10 years, but they haven't considered how the efficient lights will affect the joke-telling industry.
03/08/2011
05:24

The Colbert ReportS7
Bench Press - Anthony Weiner

Anthony Weiner wants to ensure that the Supreme Court upholds a standard of ethics by asking Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from health care cases.
03/09/2011
00:26

The Colbert ReportS7
Intro - 3/9/11

Clarence Thomas may have a conflict of interest, and Stephen hopes David Brooks' book, "The Social Animal," is about a hamster on Facebook.
03/09/2011
05:40

The Colbert ReportS7
David Brooks

David Brooks describes the way unconscious emotions affect people's decisions and values.
03/09/2011
04:35

The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen Gives Up Catholicism for Lent

Giving up Catholicism for Lent shows Stephen's devotion to the great religion that he no longer practices.
03/09/2011
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