The Colbert Report
Bill Clinton's Personal Appearance
Season 5 • 08/05/2009
North Korea releases two journalists after Bill Clinton charms the pantsuit off of Kim Jong-il.
Intro - 8/3/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama finds a way to pay for health care, and General Anthony Zinni will wax Stephen's chest.
The Word - Hippie ReplacementThe Colbert ReportS5
Soon America's grassroots people-power movements will be rid of the one thing that's holding them back: people.
Kurt AndersenThe Colbert ReportS5
According to Kurt Andersen, the economic and health crises give Americans a brief chance to get things where they want them.
Sign Off - Love Makes the World Go RoundThe Colbert ReportS5
Love makes the world go round, so stop hogging all the credit, physics.
Colbert Bump Cocktail - David WondrichThe Colbert ReportS5
David Wondrich serves Stephen drinks from the Great Depression and the Civil War, and invents a Colbert Bump cocktail.
Merry BarackmasThe Colbert ReportS5
Karl Marx takes gifts from Stephen to give to lazy people who don't deserve nice things.
Human WeekThe Colbert ReportS5
Since sharks don't kill that many people, the Discovery Channel should replace their Shark Week with Human Week.
2010 Midterms - Joe SestakThe Colbert ReportS5
Joe Sestak is running against Arlen Specter for the Pennsylvania Senate seat so he can bring health care reform to all Americans.
Kris KobachThe Colbert ReportS5
Kris Kobach wants to fight illegal immigration on the local level and reward the people willing to come to this country legally.
Bill Clinton's Personal AppearanceThe Colbert ReportS5
Bill Clinton frees two journalists from North Korea, but Laura Ling leaves without her delicious sandwich.
Meryl StreepThe Colbert ReportS5
Meryl Streep won't feel responsible if her role as Julia Child influences kids to think cooking is cool.
Intro - 8/6/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen reviews the movies that are destroying America and talks to Meryl Streep about her role as Julia Child.
Yahweh or No Way - Dinosaur Adventure Land & Black Market KidneysThe Colbert ReportS5
The founder of a creationist dinosaur theme park refuses to pay taxes, President Obama may be a secret Mormon, and a Jewish man trades kidneys on the black market.
Back to School With JeremihThe Colbert ReportS5
Chicago Public Schools officials appoint Jeremih, the guy who sings "Birthday Sex," as their new back-to-school spokesman.
Movies That Are Destroying America - SummerThe Colbert ReportS5
"G.I. Joe" helps the French, and "Orphan" doesn't go far enough in reversing the harmful stereotype that adoption is good.
Barbara BoxerThe Colbert ReportS5
Barbara Boxer's new novel, "Blind Trust," is about a liberal California senator involved in a scandal, but it's not a veiled confession.
Intro - 8/10/09The Colbert ReportS5
Vladimir Putin returns to the spotlight, and Stephen interviews Barbara Boxer with deaf suspicion.
Cold War Update - Cuba & Topless PutinThe Colbert ReportS5
Obama stops a pro-democracy ticker, Cuba runs out of toilet paper, and Vladimir Putin goes topless on his Siberian vacation.
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