The Colbert Report
Intro - 4/23/07
Season 3 • 04/23/2007
Conservatives want a fresh new face -- as long as it looks just like the old face.
Hyperbole-OffThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen may have lost the Meta-Free-Phor-All to Sean Penn, but he will not lose his upcoming Hyperbole-Off to George Clooney.
God's Pet ChimpThe Colbert ReportS3
Human DNA has stopped evolving because God got us right the first time when he intelligently designed us.
Meta-Free-Phor-All: Shall I Nail Thee to a Summer's Day?The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen has a metaphor for Sean Penn: Sean Penn is a big mean jerk, and Stephen hates him.
The Word - $400 HaircutThe Colbert ReportS3
Sure, John Edwards grew up poor, but if he really cared about the poor, he would have stayed poor.
Stephanie's Winning!The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen's adopted turtle, Stephanie Colbertle, is leading the Great Turtle Race, while two other lady turtles hang back at the nesting grounds, listening to Melissa Etheridge.
Gonzales ForgotThe Colbert ReportS3
Alberto Gonzales said 71 times that he couldn't remember details on the U.S. attorney firings, but he only remembers saying it once.
ThreatDown - MySpaceThe Colbert ReportS3
It's bad enough that MySpace exposes our teens to child predators, now they're corrupting our youth with journalism.
Mike Huckabee - Running Mate BidThe Colbert ReportS3
Mike Huckabee and Stephen talk about plastic fruit and rowing in paddleboats in Central Park.
Colbert Nation Online Discussion GroupThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen speaks to those interested in joining a Colbert Nation discussion group.
Russell SimmonsThe Colbert ReportS3
Russell Simmons talks about Oprah, diamonds and the secret to success.
Intro - 4/23/07The Colbert ReportS3
Conservatives want a fresh new face, Sheryl Crow confronts Karl Rove and Def Jam's Russell Simmons sits down with Stephen.
D.C. Voting Rights - Eleanor Holmes NortonThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen tells Eleanor Holmes Norton that this is the United States of America, not the United Districts of Columbia of America.
The Word - Act GloballyThe Colbert ReportS3
According to the head of the EPA, George W. Bush is making major progress -- there is a 4/10ths of one percent reduction in the increase of greenhouse gasses.
60% Good NewsThe Colbert ReportS3
When Stephen watches "Fox & Friends," he feels like he's watching a Disney movie about the news.
Dr. Andrew WeilThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Andrew Weil tells Stephen that it's possible to channel his rage in a useful way and that he finds Dr. House to be too cynical.
Bye-Bye to BorisThe Colbert ReportS3
Russia's first democratically elected President, Boris Yeltsin, has passed away and the New York Post has paid tribute with their usual class and sensitivity.
Sign Off - Captain LeadThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen reminisces about his favorite childhood toys: Captain Lead, General Light Socket, Admiral Dry Cleaning Bag, Lieutenant Fluffy -- and his wad of asbestos.
Intro - 4/24/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen discusses President Bush's fight against global warming and the two seats being considered for Congress, and sits down with new age medical guru Dr. Andrew Weil.
Alpha Dog of the Week - Uncle BenThe Colbert ReportS3
After 61 years, Uncle Ben is now not only spokesman of his products but CEO of the company.
New Issue of GQThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen expects the new issue of GQ with him on the cover to be the most popular issue they've ever had.
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