The Colbert Report
Intro - 4/23/07
Season 3 • 04/23/2007
Conservatives want a fresh new face -- as long as it looks just like the old face.
The Colbert ReportS3 Hyperbole-Off
Stephen may have lost the Meta-Free-Phor-All to Sean Penn, but he will not lose his upcoming Hyperbole-Off to George Clooney.
The Colbert ReportS3 God's Pet Chimp
Human DNA has stopped evolving because God got us right the first time when he intelligently designed us.
The Colbert ReportS3 Meta-Free-Phor-All: Shall I Nail Thee to a Summer's Day?
Stephen has a metaphor for Sean Penn: Sean Penn is a big mean jerk, and Stephen hates him.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - $400 Haircut
Sure, John Edwards grew up poor, but if he really cared about the poor, he would have stayed poor.
The Colbert ReportS3 Stephanie's Winning!
Stephen's adopted turtle, Stephanie Colbertle, is leading the Great Turtle Race, while two other lady turtles hang back at the nesting grounds, listening to Melissa Etheridge.
The Colbert ReportS3 Gonzales Forgot
Alberto Gonzales said 71 times that he couldn't remember details on the U.S. attorney firings, but he only remembers saying it once.
The Colbert ReportS3 ThreatDown - MySpace
It's bad enough that MySpace exposes our teens to child predators, now they're corrupting our youth with journalism.
The Colbert ReportS3 Mike Huckabee - Running Mate Bid
Mike Huckabee and Stephen talk about plastic fruit and rowing in paddleboats in Central Park.
The Colbert ReportS3 Colbert Nation Online Discussion Group
Stephen speaks to those interested in joining a Colbert Nation discussion group.
The Colbert ReportS3 Russell Simmons
Russell Simmons talks about Oprah, diamonds and the secret to success.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/23/07
Conservatives want a fresh new face, Sheryl Crow confronts Karl Rove and Def Jam's Russell Simmons sits down with Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS3 D.C. Voting Rights - Eleanor Holmes Norton
Stephen tells Eleanor Holmes Norton that this is the United States of America, not the United Districts of Columbia of America.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Act Globally
According to the head of the EPA, George W. Bush is making major progress -- there is a 4/10ths of one percent reduction in the increase of greenhouse gasses.
The Colbert ReportS3 60% Good News
When Stephen watches "Fox & Friends," he feels like he's watching a Disney movie about the news.
The Colbert ReportS3 Dr. Andrew Weil
Dr. Andrew Weil tells Stephen that it's possible to channel his rage in a useful way and that he finds Dr. House to be too cynical.
The Colbert ReportS3 Bye-Bye to Boris
Russia's first democratically elected President, Boris Yeltsin, has passed away and the New York Post has paid tribute with their usual class and sensitivity.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Captain Lead
Stephen reminisces about his favorite childhood toys: Captain Lead, General Light Socket, Admiral Dry Cleaning Bag, Lieutenant Fluffy -- and his wad of asbestos.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/24/07
Stephen discusses President Bush's fight against global warming and the two seats being considered for Congress, and sits down with new age medical guru Dr. Andrew Weil.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Uncle Ben
After 61 years, Uncle Ben is now not only spokesman of his products but CEO of the company.
The Colbert ReportS3 New Issue of GQ
Stephen expects the new issue of GQ with him on the cover to be the most popular issue they've ever had.
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