The Colbert Report
Jeff Goldblum Will Be Missed
Season 5 • 06/29/2009
No one will miss Jeff Goldblum more than Jeff Goldblum.
Mark Sanford Does Something InterestingThe Colbert ReportS5
Mark Sanford releases the juicy details of his torrid affair at a press conference, putting Stephen to sleep.
Jim FourattThe Colbert ReportS5
Jim Fouratt discusses the significance of the Stonewall riots for the gay rights movement and his frustration with Barack Obama.
Sign Off - One BreathThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen made it through the whole show in one breath.
Intro - 6/25/09The Colbert ReportS5
ABC turns their network over to Barack Obama, and Jim Fouratt meets the leader of the gay shame movement.
Gay Demon on the LooseThe Colbert ReportS5
A gay demon was perfectly harmless inside a gay teen, but now it's on the prowl looking to inhabit a new host.
The Word - StonewallingThe Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama will give rights to the gay community once he's done putting it off.
Commonsense Health Care Reform InfomercialThe Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama promotes his health care plan on ABC, while Republicans propose their own health care reform with an infomercial.
Michael Jackson's Media AttentionThe Colbert ReportS5
With the media focused on Michael Jackson's death, Stephen can commit unspeakable acts of depravity without anyone noticing.
The Word - NoncensusThe Colbert ReportS5
If Americans stop counting, it will end longstanding problems like the census, the deficit and birthdays.
Neil deGrasse TysonThe Colbert ReportS5
Neil deGrasse Tyson tries to make science accessible to whomever wants to reach out and touch it.
Jeff Goldblum Will Be MissedThe Colbert ReportS5
Jeff Goldblum interrupts Stephen's report on the death of Jeff Goldblum.
Sign Off - Farewell, David SouterThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen hopes Justice David Souter enjoys his retirement with Norm Coleman.
Is It Time to Care About Soccer? - Alexi LalasThe Colbert ReportS5
Alexi Lalas believes the U.S. soccer team definitely has a shot at winning the World Cup.
Intro - 6/30/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen questions whether America should embrace soccer, and Kevin Mattson thinks Jimmy Carter was underappreciated.
Is It Time To Care About Soccer?The Colbert ReportS5
Normally, Stephen wouldn't think twice about soccer, but that was before the U.S. was good at it.
4th of July Under AttackThe Colbert ReportS5
An environmental activist sues Seattle to suspend their 4th of July fireworks display in pristine Gas Works Park.
Al Franken Finally Declared SenatorThe Colbert ReportS5
The Minnesota Supreme Court rushes to declare Al Franken the Senate race winner after barely seven months of deliberation.
Kevin MattsonThe Colbert ReportS5
Kevin Mattson discusses the relevance of Jimmy Carter's underappreciated "national malaise" speech.
Nicholas KristofThe Colbert ReportS5
Nicholas Kristof describes the endocrine disruptors in the water that are causing genital malformations in male animals and humans.
Sign Off - Get Your Illegal FireworksThe Colbert ReportS5
Don't forget, there are only three more illegal fireworks shopping days until the 4th of July.
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