The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/5/09
Season 5 • 03/05/2009
The Obama administration goes after pundits.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/4/09
Will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Scientology's New Galactic Overlord
Stephen is ahead of Xenu in NASA's space station module votes, making him Scientology's new galactic overlord.
The Colbert ReportS5 Doom Bunker - Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore
Stephen makes up horrific doomsday scenarios for Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore to discuss.
The Colbert ReportS5 Doom Bunker - Glenn Beck's "War Room"
Stephen encourages Glenn Beck to crank up the crazy and rip off the knob.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama's Swing Set
Stephen has to respect Barack Obama for putting together a swing set on the South Lawn.
The Colbert ReportS5 Steven Johnson
Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh
Rush Limbaugh doesn't care what the Constitution says, which is proof that he is the true leader of the Republican Party.
The Colbert ReportS5 Market Psychology - Jim Cramer
Jim Cramer discusses the psychology of the open market with a backdrop of puppies and kittens.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/5/09
The Obama administration goes after pundits. John King, set your magic screen to stun.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis
Representative Cynthia Lummis judges a selection of Stephen's meats.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Locked and Loathed
Stephen longs for a day when gun owners no longer have to hide their relationships with their concealed weapons.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Better Know a District - Wyoming's At-Large - Cynthia Lummis
Stephen asks Cynthia Lummis what Wyoming's black guy is like.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/9/09
If Stacy drugged Rex's drink, who is going to perform Felicia's brain surgery?
The Colbert ReportS5 Sleep Tight, Abraham
Sleep tight, Abraham. You've got a big day tomorrow.
The Colbert ReportS5 Lisa Hannigan
Lisa Hannigan sewed the cover, liner notes and lyrics of her album "Sea Sew."
The Colbert ReportS5 New Baby Abraham Carter Grosz
Any script, teleplay or offspring generated by an employee of The Colbert Report is the intellectual property of Stephen Colbert.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sick Three-Way
Stephen is an unwilling party to your sick three-way, and he'll see you in court.
The Colbert ReportS5 Jay Keasling
Jay Keasling says the same yeast that we use to produce beer and bread will soon be fueling our cars and planes.
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