The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Stephen Accepts Your Apologies

Season 3 • 09/24/2007

Whether you called to atone or to find the best deal on cleaning supplies, Stephen thanks you.

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00:33

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 9/20/07

Tonight, Stephen investigates a U.S. contractor getting kicked out of Iraq, reports on Russian population initiatives and interviews legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin.
09/20/2007
05:28

The Colbert ReportS3
ThreatDown - Us

Tonight's threats are salad, Slavic intercourse, el Chupacabra, the Bingham Company and us.
09/20/2007
01:09

The Colbert ReportS3
Blistering Rebuttal

How are you supposed to protest an abuse of authority when an authority figure told you not to?
09/20/2007
01:22

The Colbert ReportS3
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Mayo Kitchen

The hottest new restaurant in Tokyo is the Mayonnaise Kitchen, where you can get mayo on everything.
09/20/2007
01:50

The Colbert ReportS3
Rabbi Fish

Tomorrow is the last chance for the children of Israel to own up to whatever it is they've done to Stephen.
09/20/2007
02:35

The Colbert ReportS3
Alpha Dog of the Week - Honniball

Percy Honniball is man enough to use the tool belt God gave him.
09/24/2007
00:34

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 9/24/07

Iran's president speaks at an Ivy League university, Congress censures MoveOn.org and Stephen nails Thomas Friedman.
09/24/2007
06:39

The Colbert ReportS3
Thomas L. Friedman

Stephen asks Thomas Friedman what it feels like to be a guy who's passionate about UPS.
09/24/2007
02:31

The Colbert ReportS3
The Metric System

Stephen's been railing against the metric system since he was a midday anchor in 1987.
09/24/2007
05:26

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Na Na-Na Na Na Na

We owe a debt of gratitude to the Senate for reminding us that words can hurt.
09/24/2007
02:46

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Stephen Accepts Your Apologies

This year 1-888-OOPS-JEW shared the line with 1-888-MOPS-KEY, a consumer help line for finding the best prices on janitorial equipment.
09/24/2007
00:34

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 9/25/07

Stephen sits down with author John Grisham and learns that half of the world's languages are going extinct.
09/25/2007
01:33

The Colbert ReportS3
No Nuclear Iran

The New York Times issues a mea culpa for giving MoveOn.org the "blame America" discount.
09/25/2007
05:37

The Colbert ReportS3
K. David Harrison

Stephen asks K. David Harrison, author of "When Languages Die," if he's translating his book into any dying languages.
09/25/2007
03:27

The Colbert ReportS3
Tip/Wag - Muslim Hipsters

Thank you, Muslim hipsters -- by wearing ironic T-shirts, you make the TSA's job that much easier.
09/25/2007
05:41

The Colbert ReportS3
John Grisham

John Grisham is taking a break from writing about lawyers. Now he's writing about pizzas.
09/25/2007
03:11

The Colbert ReportS3
Indecision 2008: Don't F%#k This Up America - Giuliani

Dustin Hoffman and Rudy Giuliani have been at each other ever since Hoffman beat out the former mayor for the lead in "Tootsie."
09/25/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 9/26/07

Tonight, Stephen reports on NBC and iTunes, questions the validity of a third political party, and interviews Tony Bennett.
09/26/2007
01:07

The Colbert ReportS3
Forgiving Bennett

Stephen couldn't stay mad at Tony Bennett after listening to his Emmy acceptance speech.
09/26/2007
03:47

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - A Word From Our Sponsors

With the new NBC Direct, you can't fast forward through the commercials -- you're that in control.
09/26/2007
02:27

The Colbert ReportS3
Canadian Dollar

Economists are saying that our first president, George Washington, is no better than Canada's first president, a duck.
09/26/2007
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