The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Stephen Accepts Your Apologies
Season 3 • 09/24/2007
Whether you called to atone or to find the best deal on cleaning supplies, Stephen thanks you.
Intro - 9/20/07The Colbert ReportS3
Tonight, Stephen investigates a U.S. contractor getting kicked out of Iraq, reports on Russian population initiatives and interviews legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin.
ThreatDown - UsThe Colbert ReportS3
Tonight's threats are salad, Slavic intercourse, el Chupacabra, the Bingham Company and us.
Blistering RebuttalThe Colbert ReportS3
How are you supposed to protest an abuse of authority when an authority figure told you not to?
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Mayo KitchenThe Colbert ReportS3
The hottest new restaurant in Tokyo is the Mayonnaise Kitchen, where you can get mayo on everything.
Rabbi FishThe Colbert ReportS3
Tomorrow is the last chance for the children of Israel to own up to whatever it is they've done to Stephen.
Alpha Dog of the Week - HonniballThe Colbert ReportS3
Percy Honniball is man enough to use the tool belt God gave him.
Intro - 9/24/07The Colbert ReportS3
Iran's president speaks at an Ivy League university, Congress censures MoveOn.org and Stephen nails Thomas Friedman.
Thomas L. FriedmanThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Thomas Friedman what it feels like to be a guy who's passionate about UPS.
The Metric SystemThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen's been railing against the metric system since he was a midday anchor in 1987.
The Word - Na Na-Na Na Na NaThe Colbert ReportS3
We owe a debt of gratitude to the Senate for reminding us that words can hurt.
Sign Off - Stephen Accepts Your ApologiesThe Colbert ReportS3
This year 1-888-OOPS-JEW shared the line with 1-888-MOPS-KEY, a consumer help line for finding the best prices on janitorial equipment.
Intro - 9/25/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen sits down with author John Grisham and learns that half of the world's languages are going extinct.
No Nuclear IranThe Colbert ReportS3
The New York Times issues a mea culpa for giving MoveOn.org the "blame America" discount.
K. David HarrisonThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks K. David Harrison, author of "When Languages Die," if he's translating his book into any dying languages.
Tip/Wag - Muslim HipstersThe Colbert ReportS3
Thank you, Muslim hipsters -- by wearing ironic T-shirts, you make the TSA's job that much easier.
John GrishamThe Colbert ReportS3
John Grisham is taking a break from writing about lawyers. Now he's writing about pizzas.
Indecision 2008: Don't F%#k This Up America - GiulianiThe Colbert ReportS3
Dustin Hoffman and Rudy Giuliani have been at each other ever since Hoffman beat out the former mayor for the lead in "Tootsie."
Intro - 9/26/07The Colbert ReportS3
Tonight, Stephen reports on NBC and iTunes, questions the validity of a third political party, and interviews Tony Bennett.
Forgiving BennettThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen couldn't stay mad at Tony Bennett after listening to his Emmy acceptance speech.
The Word - A Word From Our SponsorsThe Colbert ReportS3
With the new NBC Direct, you can't fast forward through the commercials -- you're that in control.
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