The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Headlines - Abstinence Of Malice
Season 9 • 12/15/2004
The Bush administration has a hard-on for sexual abstinence.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 International Pamphlet - Locusts
Swarms of locusts wreak havoc all across the globe, and David Beckham and Posh Spice play Joseph and Mary.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Dore Gold
Former Israeli Ambassador to the U.N. Dore Gold talks about the changes and reforms facing an increasingly irrelevant world governing body.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Teed Off
The M.D.A. refuses to pay Keith Schott for the hole in one he hit at a charity event.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Mess O'Potamia - Full Medal Racket
Bush awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to a retired General, a fashion pioneer and a Queen.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Moment of Zen - Bush's Hanukah Celebration
The White House celebrates Hanukah with an a cappella serenade for the first family.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Silent Night, Holy Crap
Bob Wiltfong thinks the safest thing to do this year is to ignore Christmas all together.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly knows of another way not to get AIDS, apart from wearing Birkenstock shoes.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Back in Black - Dangerous Toys
Lewis Black covers this year's list of dangerous toys, including a plastic Nerf football, lead jewelry and a sharp Batmobile.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Terrorist Targets
Homeland Security compiles its database of potential terrorist targets, including amusement parks and miniature golf courses.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Moment of Zen - Santa Claus
Bob Wiltfong interviews a security expert who describes Santa Claus.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Headlines - Abstinence Of Malice
The Bush administration funds school sexual abstinence programs, teaching information that is at best misleading, and at worst, completely wrong.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Culture War
Hollywood doesn't like anal sex. It loves anal sex.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Great Moments in Punditry - Children
Did you not say that, did you not say that, did you not say that?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Moment of Zen - Anal Sex
William Donohue claims Hollywood likes anal sex.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Mo'Money, No Problems!
George W. Bush deals with the U.S. deficit by confronting Social Security.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 Katie Couric
Katie Couric claims that many teenagers don't think oral sex is intimate.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9 This Week in God - Holiday Edition
Stephen Colbert punches the God Machine for the latest news in religion.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS10 Mess O'Potamia - Running Exit Poll
Iraq's booming election thwarting industry has been particularly worrisome.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS10 Moment of Zen - The Maldives
By the grace of God, Star Jones survived the tsunami.
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS10 Headlines - Relief Pitchers
America is willing to spend about as much on the greatest natural disaster in recent memory as it was willing to spend on the first week of "Spanglish."
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