The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Headlines - Abstinence Of Malice

Season 9 • 12/15/2004

The Bush administration has a hard-on for sexual abstinence.

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03:08

International Pamphlet - Locusts
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Swarms of locusts wreak havoc all across the globe, and David Beckham and Posh Spice play Joseph and Mary.
12/14/2004
06:52

Dore Gold
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Former Israeli Ambassador to the U.N. Dore Gold talks about the changes and reforms facing an increasingly irrelevant world governing body.
12/14/2004
05:56

Teed Off
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

The M.D.A. refuses to pay Keith Schott for the hole in one he hit at a charity event.
12/14/2004
04:00

Mess O'Potamia - Full Medal Racket
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Bush awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to a retired General, a fashion pioneer and a Queen.
12/14/2004
00:25

Moment of Zen - Bush's Hanukah Celebration
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

The White House celebrates Hanukah with an a cappella serenade for the first family.
12/14/2004
04:34

Silent Night, Holy Crap
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Bob Wiltfong thinks the safest thing to do this year is to ignore Christmas all together.
12/15/2004
05:25

Billy Connolly
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Billy Connolly knows of another way not to get AIDS, apart from wearing Birkenstock shoes.
12/15/2004
03:27

Back in Black - Dangerous Toys
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Lewis Black covers this year's list of dangerous toys, including a plastic Nerf football, lead jewelry and a sharp Batmobile.
12/15/2004
01:19

Terrorist Targets
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Homeland Security compiles its database of potential terrorist targets, including amusement parks and miniature golf courses.
12/15/2004
00:11

Moment of Zen - Santa Claus
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Bob Wiltfong interviews a security expert who describes Santa Claus.
12/15/2004
04:21

Headlines - Abstinence Of Malice
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

The Bush administration funds school sexual abstinence programs, teaching information that is at best misleading, and at worst, completely wrong.
12/15/2004
03:37

Culture War
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Hollywood doesn't like anal sex. It loves anal sex.
12/16/2004
01:06

Great Moments in Punditry - Children
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Did you not say that, did you not say that, did you not say that?
12/16/2004
00:15

Moment of Zen - Anal Sex
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

William Donohue claims Hollywood likes anal sex.
12/16/2004
02:20

Mo'Money, No Problems!
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

George W. Bush deals with the U.S. deficit by confronting Social Security.
12/16/2004
07:56

Katie Couric
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Katie Couric claims that many teenagers don't think oral sex is intimate.
12/16/2004
05:13

This Week in God - Holiday Edition
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS9

Stephen Colbert punches the God Machine for the latest news in religion.
12/16/2004
02:18

Mess O'Potamia - Running Exit Poll
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS10

Iraq's booming election thwarting industry has been particularly worrisome.
01/04/2005
00:36

Moment of Zen - The Maldives
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS10

By the grace of God, Star Jones survived the tsunami.
01/04/2005
03:27

Headlines - Relief Pitchers
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS10

America is willing to spend about as much on the greatest natural disaster in recent memory as it was willing to spend on the first week of "Spanglish."
01/04/2005
05:06

News to Them
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS10

When these kids get out into the real world of grown-up news, Rob Corddry is going to f**king eat them alive.
01/04/2005
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