The Colbert Report

USA Board of Ophthalmological Freedom

Season 6 • 06/22/2010

Rand Paul inspires Stephen to exercise his constitutional right to call himself an ophthalmologist.

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01:54

Obama's Simplified BP Oil Spill Speech
The Colbert ReportS6

This is how you speak about the BP oil spill in the way Americans can understand: See Spot. See Spot spread. Stop, Spot, stop.
06/17/2010
00:14

Sign Off - Spare Cursed Monkey's Paw
The Colbert ReportS6

Please send your spare cursed monkeys' paws Stephen's way -- he's got a bit of a zombie problem.
06/21/2010
08:03

Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 1
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen admits to Steve Lindsey that he lashes out in zero gravity, has a spastic colon and needs a lot of time alone.
06/21/2010
03:42

Joe Barton's Misconstrued Misconstruction
The Colbert ReportS6

Joe Barton apologizes for his misconstrued misconstruction, and pundits call the BP escrow account unconstitutional.
06/21/2010
04:57

Wes Moore
The Colbert ReportS6

Wes Moore speaks to the importance of small decisions and role models by comparing himself to the imprisoned Wes Moore.
06/21/2010
02:11

US Ties With Slovenia
The Colbert ReportS6

The call to disallow the US goal against Slovenia was totally unfair, and the rest of the world agrees.
06/21/2010
04:35

Stanley McChrystal Talks to Rolling Stone
The Colbert ReportS6

General Stanley McChrystal must have been high on Afghani heroin when he criticized the commander-in-chief in front of a Rolling Stone reporter.
06/22/2010
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen says goodnight.
06/22/2010
04:31

Gloria Steinem
The Colbert ReportS6

Gloria Steinem says men who raise the kids and take care of the house have better marriages, live longer and have better sex.
06/22/2010
05:12

Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 2
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen begins his astronaut training by working in zero gravity, running on his space treadmill and test-driving moon wheels.
06/22/2010
05:28

USA Board of Ophthalmological Freedom
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen becomes a certified ophthalmologist, and Professor Buttons performs Lasik surgery on Jay.
06/22/2010
02:48

US Defeats Algeria
The Colbert ReportS6

Under General Petraeus's command, America defeats its longtime deadly enemy, Algeria, at the World Cup.
06/23/2010
04:56

Tim Westergren
The Colbert ReportS6

Tim Westergren describes how Pandora creates a personalized list of songs by analyzing musical attributes.
06/23/2010
00:20

Sign Off - Tomorrow's Fallback Position
The Colbert ReportS6

Tune in for the dramatic conclusion of Fallback Position as Stephen completes his astronaut training.
06/23/2010
06:03

Yahweh or No Way - The Blues Brothers & Glenn Beck
The Colbert ReportS6

The Vatican newspaper endorses "The Blues Brothers," and Glenn Beck plans to hold a rally on the anniversary of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech.
06/23/2010
00:27

Intro - 6/23/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen finds out if Glenn Beck is a civil rights hero and talks to Pandora founder Tim Westergren about radio on the Internet.
06/23/2010
05:20

Prophet Glenn Beck - Father Guido Sarducci
The Colbert ReportS6

Father Guido Sarducci told Glenn Beck his work was wildly important at the Vatican, but he thought he was talking to Jeff Beck.
06/23/2010
00:36

Intro - 6/24/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen completes his astronaut training, and Michael Specter talks about the dangers of denying science.
06/24/2010
02:54

Put the Cursed Monkey Paw Down
The Colbert ReportS6

Whoever has the cursed monkey paw, stop wishing you could do something to help the people in the Gulf.
06/24/2010
00:06

Sign Off - General's Cap
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen wears his general's cap and flings a WristStrong bracelet into the audience.
06/24/2010
05:33

Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 3
The Colbert ReportS6

Before Stephen can land the space shuttle, he needs to know how to fly it in five words or less.
06/24/2010
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