The Colbert Report
USA Board of Ophthalmological Freedom
Season 6 • 06/22/2010
Rand Paul inspires Stephen to exercise his constitutional right to call himself an ophthalmologist.
Obama's Simplified BP Oil Spill SpeechThe Colbert ReportS6
This is how you speak about the BP oil spill in the way Americans can understand: See Spot. See Spot spread. Stop, Spot, stop.
Sign Off - Spare Cursed Monkey's PawThe Colbert ReportS6
Please send your spare cursed monkeys' paws Stephen's way -- he's got a bit of a zombie problem.
Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 1The Colbert ReportS6
Stephen admits to Steve Lindsey that he lashes out in zero gravity, has a spastic colon and needs a lot of time alone.
Joe Barton's Misconstrued MisconstructionThe Colbert ReportS6
Joe Barton apologizes for his misconstrued misconstruction, and pundits call the BP escrow account unconstitutional.
Wes MooreThe Colbert ReportS6
Wes Moore speaks to the importance of small decisions and role models by comparing himself to the imprisoned Wes Moore.
US Ties With SloveniaThe Colbert ReportS6
The call to disallow the US goal against Slovenia was totally unfair, and the rest of the world agrees.
Stanley McChrystal Talks to Rolling StoneThe Colbert ReportS6
General Stanley McChrystal must have been high on Afghani heroin when he criticized the commander-in-chief in front of a Rolling Stone reporter.
Gloria SteinemThe Colbert ReportS6
Gloria Steinem says men who raise the kids and take care of the house have better marriages, live longer and have better sex.
Fallback Position - Astronaut Pt. 2The Colbert ReportS6
Stephen begins his astronaut training by working in zero gravity, running on his space treadmill and test-driving moon wheels.
USA Board of Ophthalmological FreedomThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen becomes a certified ophthalmologist, and Professor Buttons performs Lasik surgery on Jay.
US Defeats AlgeriaThe Colbert ReportS6
Under General Petraeus's command, America defeats its longtime deadly enemy, Algeria, at the World Cup.
Tim WestergrenThe Colbert ReportS6
Tim Westergren describes how Pandora creates a personalized list of songs by analyzing musical attributes.
Sign Off - Tomorrow's Fallback PositionThe Colbert ReportS6
Tune in for the dramatic conclusion of Fallback Position as Stephen completes his astronaut training.
Yahweh or No Way - The Blues Brothers & Glenn BeckThe Colbert ReportS6
The Vatican newspaper endorses "The Blues Brothers," and Glenn Beck plans to hold a rally on the anniversary of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech.
Intro - 6/23/10The Colbert ReportS6
Stephen finds out if Glenn Beck is a civil rights hero and talks to Pandora founder Tim Westergren about radio on the Internet.
Prophet Glenn Beck - Father Guido SarducciThe Colbert ReportS6
Father Guido Sarducci told Glenn Beck his work was wildly important at the Vatican, but he thought he was talking to Jeff Beck.
Intro - 6/24/10The Colbert ReportS6
Stephen completes his astronaut training, and Michael Specter talks about the dangers of denying science.
Put the Cursed Monkey Paw DownThe Colbert ReportS6
Whoever has the cursed monkey paw, stop wishing you could do something to help the people in the Gulf.
Sign Off - General's CapThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen wears his general's cap and flings a WristStrong bracelet into the audience.
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