The Colbert Report
Advertising to Monkeys
Season 7 • 06/28/2011
Scientists develop a marketing campaign that targets monkeys and all their monkey money.
The Colbert ReportS7 Good Point/Other Point - Ted Nugent vs. Millennials
Tea Party darling and 70s rock 'n' roll participant Ted Nugent finds today's youth 'terminally stoned on apathy,' which is a gateway drug.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Scented Box Cutter
Stephen shaves with a box cutter duct-taped to a Glade PlugIn.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 6/27/11
Rick Scott wants to increase his popularity, Ted Nugent writes an op-ed, and Grover Norquist talks about Americans for Tax Reform.
The Colbert ReportS7 Grover Norquist
Grover Norquist, lobbyist for Americans for Tax Reform, must choose between terrorized grandmothers and higher taxes.
The Colbert ReportS7 Stephen & Jonathan Alter at Gaillard Auditorium
Stephen invites Colbert Nation to his live interview with Jonathan Alter at South Carolina's Gaillard Auditorium.
The Colbert ReportS7 Alexandra Pelosi
Emmy-winning filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi discusses her documentary, "Citizen U.S.A," about citizenship ceremonies throughout the 50 states.
The Colbert ReportS7 Michele Bachmann Compares Herself to John Wayne
If Michele Bachmann shows weakness, her critics will circle like sharks -- or psycho-sexual serial killers.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 6/28/11
The Supreme Court has big news for Wal-Mart, animals respond to advertising, and Alexandra Pelosi talks about her documentary on becoming a U.S. citizens.
The Colbert ReportS7 The Word - Too Big to Nail
The Supreme Court throws out a class action lawsuit brought against Wal-Mart by its female employees, setting a precedent for gender-equal powerlessness against corporations.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - Teleprompter Eulogy
Teleprompter inventor, Hubert Schlafly, leaves behind his technological legacy along with a message from beyond the grave.
The Colbert ReportS7 Advertising to Monkeys
Advertisers shouldn't use airbrushing and collagen -- just beautiful, natural monkey vaginas.
The Colbert ReportS7 Gary Sinise
Gary Sinise discusses his documentary, "Lt. Dan Band: For the Common Good," and the importance of supporting America's troops.
The Colbert ReportS7 4th of July Under Attack - Fireworks Cancelled
In an attack against the shabby, cash-only roadside shacks that make America great, Texas cancels Fourth of July fireworks shows.
The Colbert ReportS7 Hometown Hero Town - Lexington, KY
While there are some things in life worth standing up for, folks in Lexington, KY, would rather sit down for them.
The Colbert ReportS7 Colbert Super PAC - Trevor Potter Preps Stephen for His FEC Hearing
Trevor Potter prepares Stephen for his FEC Super PAC hearing, which will not require him to fight in the sarlacc pit in sudden-death overtime.
The Colbert ReportS7 Intro - 6/29/11
The FEC decides whether or not Stephen can have his Super PAC, a survey identifies America's least active city, and Gary Sinise talks about entertaining American troops.
The Colbert ReportS7 Sign Off - See You at the FEC
Stephen reminds Colbert Nation to go to the FEC for his Super PAC hearing.
The Colbert ReportS7 Colbert Super PAC - Irresponsible Advertising
If the FEC allows his Super PAC, Stephen promises to make ads that are even less responsible than Turn Right USA's racist, misogynistic ads.
The Colbert ReportS7 Colbert Super PAC - Stephen Addresses Colbert Super Nation
After filing his Super PAC papers, Stephen wades into the crowd with a credit card swiper attached to his iPad like Washington crossing the Delaware to ask it for money.
The Colbert ReportS7 Formidable Opponent - Pakistan
Stephen wants to give Pakistan an ultimatum to stop supporting terror or lose American aid, but Stephen doesn't think Stephen should choose his friends for him.
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