The Colbert Report
Intro - 10/31/07
Season 3 • 10/31/2007
You know what they say: "If at first you don't succeed, invade Iran."
Earth Attacks - Georgia DroughtThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen tells us why nature is a bigger threat to us than we are to it, and recommends that Georgia beat the drought by blasting their air conditioners 24 hours a day.
Massie RitschThe Colbert ReportS3
After learning that having his campaign funded by Doritos may be illegal, Stephen invites Massie Ritsch to explain campaign funding to him.
J. Craig VenterThe Colbert ReportS3
Scientist Craig Venter stops by to talk about genome decoding, the imperfections of God and what gives Stephen gas.
Intro - 10/30/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen takes a look at campaign finance laws, introduces a new segment in which polar bears were killed and speaks with Craig Venter about the genetics field.
Monkey on the Lam - Lobster EditionThe Colbert ReportS3
Last week in Germany, a pack of lobsters escaped from their crates and made a run for the ocean. Once recovered, however, the notoriously soft-hearted Germans didn't eat them.
The Word - Job DescriptionThe Colbert ReportS3
We've heard about immigration, health care, and who can say "9/11" five times fast with crackers in his mouth, but no candidate has given a job description of the presidency.
Democra-SEE, Democra-DO - ElectionsThe Colbert ReportS3
America is in the middle of an election, so of course other little countries are holding their own adorable little elections, too.
Hallo-WeeningThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen wishes he could wish everyone a happy Halloween, but he doesn't believe in celebrating panhandling.
Obama's Grit-Off ChallengeThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen knew presidential politics could get personal, but he never guessed it would get as dirty as Barack Obama challenging him to a grit-off.
Lawrence WilkersonThe Colbert ReportS3
Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson believes the upper strata of the Bush administration hijacked strategy in Iraq. Stephen asks who should have done so instead.
Intro - 10/31/07The Colbert ReportS3
Vladimir Putin's chances in elections around the world, how Bush reshaped the presidency, and proof of the old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, invade Iran."
Hail to the Cheese - Donors ChooseThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen's campaign for president may be over, but you can still help him win.
Intro - 11/1/07The Colbert ReportS3
In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with Walter Kirn and finds out if he's on the ballot as a Democrat.
Walter KirnThe Colbert ReportS3
Walter Kirn thinks multi-tasking is dangerous. Stephen thinks it's as safe as juggling while driving.
Hail to the Cheese - Ballot IssuesThe Colbert ReportS3
Will Stephen's name appear on the South Carolina Democrat Party ballot?
Hail to the Cheese - Democratic Executive CouncilThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen enters the belly of the beast in an attempt to win some bleeding hearts and minds.
Sign Off - Buy AmericanThe Colbert ReportS2
If anybody's driving a black Ford Explorer, thank you.
Intro - 11/9/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen wonders about Vladimir Putin's future, questions the single black Republican and talks to Segway inventor Dean Kamen.
Dean KamenThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen asks Segway inventor Dean Kamen if wheelchairs that can climb stairs spell the end of handicapped parking.
P.K. Winsome - A Journey HomeThe Colbert ReportS2
P.K. Winsome hits the streets of Harlem, works on his jump shot and reminds people to vote Republican.
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