The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 03/20/2007
Stephen calls on an ambassador's help to settle the score with Willie Nelson.
Willie Nelson TomorrowThe Colbert ReportS3
In anticipation of Willie Nelson's appearance on The Report, Stephen speaks out against Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler ice cream and promotes Americone Dream.
Jerome GroopmanThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Jerome Groopman discusses "How Doctors Think" and explains that Dr. Gregory House is based on Sherlock Holmes, who was addicted to cocaine, not heroine.
The Word - Pound of FleshThe Colbert ReportS3
South Carolina has come up with a program to help control the prisoner population -- inmates can reduce their sentences by donating vital organs.
ThreatDown - SeniorsThe Colbert ReportS3
Time Magazine, angry dancing seniors, fertility clinics and the FDA are all threatening America.
Intro - 3/19/07The Colbert ReportS3
Prisoners can donate organs in South Carolina, senior citizens speak out against the war in Iraq, and Stephen speaks with author Jerome Groopman
Stephen Colbert Day - HonorThe Colbert ReportS3
In celebration of Stephen Colbert Day, Stephen takes a few moments to honor Oshawa, Ontario, the city that will now give him free parking.
Willie RecallThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen goes after Willie Nelson for his competing ice cream flavor with a vicious ad campaign.
Intro - 3/20/07The Colbert ReportS3
Scientist do some renovating inside the womb, Stephen gives us a reason to visit Canada, and country musician Willie Nelson stops by.
The Word - SupernaturalThe Colbert ReportS3
After reading an article about babies being "turned straight" in the womb, Stephen feels everything should be genetically engineered to look more like the Bible says.
ThreatDown - Polar Bear CubThe Colbert ReportS3
After a mama polar bear rejected her cub the zoo planned to care for it but activist Frank Albrecht felt the cub should be killed -- Stephen agrees.
Willie NelsonThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen and Willie Nelson sample each other's ice creams for the first time. Willie enjoys Americone Dream and Stephen accepts an unspoken apology.
Impeach BushThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen supports President Bush by antagonizing the Democrats and telling Congress to strap on their balls.
Stephen's Stoned FriendThe Colbert ReportS3
After the ice cream feud is finally settled, Stephen hangs out with Willie Nelson on his tour bus and Willie becomes Stephen's new stoned friend.
The Word - SexThe Colbert ReportS3
Richard Cizik's speaking out about hurting the environment dilutes Christianity's first priority of promoting sexual abstinence.
Intro - 3/21/07The Colbert ReportS3
Evangelicals can't see eye to eye on global warming, Stephen presents a segment in the name of writing off his summer home and Benjamin Barber stops by to not plug his book.
Better Know a District - New York's 22nd - Maurice HincheyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen speaks with Congressman Maurice Hinchey about New York's 22nd district, the brown acid, great one-liners of the Borsch Belt and the best way to bring the troops home.
Benjamin BarberThe Colbert ReportS3
Benjamin Barber explains why consumer culture is bad for humanity and Stephen inquires as to whether he's a Subway or a Quiznos man.
Infomosexual GraphicsThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen explains that USA Today printed a homosexually suggestive infographic in its money section.
Face-Reading ExpertThe Colbert ReportS3
A face-reading expert from the Chicago Sun Times analyzes the features of Stephen's face.
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