The Colbert Report

Willie Nelson

Season 3 • 03/20/2007

Stephen calls on an ambassador's help to settle the score with Willie Nelson.

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01:01

Willie Nelson Tomorrow
The Colbert ReportS3

In anticipation of Willie Nelson's appearance on The Report, Stephen speaks out against Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler ice cream and promotes Americone Dream.
03/19/2007
06:07

Jerome Groopman
The Colbert ReportS3

Dr. Jerome Groopman discusses "How Doctors Think" and explains that Dr. Gregory House is based on Sherlock Holmes, who was addicted to cocaine, not heroine.
03/19/2007
03:03

The Word - Pound of Flesh
The Colbert ReportS3

South Carolina has come up with a program to help control the prisoner population -- inmates can reduce their sentences by donating vital organs.
03/19/2007
04:20

ThreatDown - Seniors
The Colbert ReportS3

Time Magazine, angry dancing seniors, fertility clinics and the FDA are all threatening America.
03/19/2007
00:29

Intro - 3/19/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Prisoners can donate organs in South Carolina, senior citizens speak out against the war in Iraq, and Stephen speaks with author Jerome Groopman
03/19/2007
02:55

Stephen Colbert Day - Honor
The Colbert ReportS3

In celebration of Stephen Colbert Day, Stephen takes a few moments to honor Oshawa, Ontario, the city that will now give him free parking.
03/20/2007
03:59

Willie Recall
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen goes after Willie Nelson for his competing ice cream flavor with a vicious ad campaign.
03/20/2007
00:27

Intro - 3/20/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Scientist do some renovating inside the womb, Stephen gives us a reason to visit Canada, and country musician Willie Nelson stops by.
03/20/2007
03:19

The Word - Supernatural
The Colbert ReportS3

After reading an article about babies being "turned straight" in the womb, Stephen feels everything should be genetically engineered to look more like the Bible says.
03/20/2007
01:49

ThreatDown - Polar Bear Cub
The Colbert ReportS3

After a mama polar bear rejected her cub the zoo planned to care for it but activist Frank Albrecht felt the cub should be killed -- Stephen agrees.
03/20/2007
05:06

Willie Nelson
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen and Willie Nelson sample each other's ice creams for the first time. Willie enjoys Americone Dream and Stephen accepts an unspoken apology.
03/20/2007
02:48

Impeach Bush
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen supports President Bush by antagonizing the Democrats and telling Congress to strap on their balls.
03/21/2007
01:29

Stephen's Stoned Friend
The Colbert ReportS3

After the ice cream feud is finally settled, Stephen hangs out with Willie Nelson on his tour bus and Willie becomes Stephen's new stoned friend.
03/21/2007
00:04

Sign Off - Goodnights
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen bids his many goodnights.
03/21/2007
03:31

The Word - Sex
The Colbert ReportS3

Richard Cizik's speaking out about hurting the environment dilutes Christianity's first priority of promoting sexual abstinence.
03/21/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/21/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Evangelicals can't see eye to eye on global warming, Stephen presents a segment in the name of writing off his summer home and Benjamin Barber stops by to not plug his book.
03/21/2007
04:53

Better Know a District - New York's 22nd - Maurice Hinchey
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen speaks with Congressman Maurice Hinchey about New York's 22nd district, the brown acid, great one-liners of the Borsch Belt and the best way to bring the troops home.
03/21/2007
06:29

Benjamin Barber
The Colbert ReportS3

Benjamin Barber explains why consumer culture is bad for humanity and Stephen inquires as to whether he's a Subway or a Quiznos man.
03/21/2007
01:37

Infomosexual Graphics
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen explains that USA Today printed a homosexually suggestive infographic in its money section.
03/22/2007
01:24

Face-Reading Expert
The Colbert ReportS3

A face-reading expert from the Chicago Sun Times analyzes the features of Stephen's face.
03/22/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/22/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Washington, D.C. may get a vote, Louisiana bans cockfighting and Steven interviews CBS Evening News anchorwoman Katie Couric.
03/22/2007
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