The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 01/11/2007
Judy Woodruff is impressed by our nation's youth.
President's SpeechThe Colbert ReportS3
Watching President Bush address the nation is like hanging out with your best bud.
The Word - WorryThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen wants to delicately remove Missouri and replace it with a stronger heartland: Texas.
Invasion of the Country SnatchersThe Colbert ReportS3
Winning baby contests is what illegal immigrants are leaving their families and risking their lives to come here for.
Intro - 1/10/07The Colbert ReportS3
The red states may be turning blue, Tek Jansen has a new adventure, and America's taste in food is getting fancier.
Sign Off - Thawing MeatThe Colbert ReportS3
Never thaw meat, poultry and fish products on the counter or in the sink without cold water.
Tek Jansen - Hounds of Hell: Ragtime Billy PeachesThe Colbert ReportS3
In this episode, Tek Jansen is mysteriously teleported to the combatosphere orbiting over Asteroid Z.
What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Doubled UpThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen reminds his viewers that just because the numbers on the board are between one and five hundred, that doesn't mean the number he's thinking of is.
Tip/Wag - Science and TechnologyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is outraged by the iPhone unless he gets one for free.
Ken RothThe Colbert ReportS3
On the fifth anniversary of Guantanamo Bay, Human Rights Watch executive director Ken Roth joins Stephen.
Intro - 1/11/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen sends a monogrammed waterboard to Guantanamo for its fifth anniversary.
Judy WoodruffThe Colbert ReportS3
Judy Woodruff talks about her new PBS documentary on Generation Next and grills Stephen on his tattoos.
The Word - Victory!The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen suggests we redefine our goals to what is actually happening. Then victory will be ours.
Intro - 1/15/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen discusses plastic surgery with author Alex Kuczynski and debuts his new financial segment.
Alex KuczynskiThe Colbert ReportS3
Alex Kuczynski explains why we don't look better after spending $15 billion on plastic surgery.
A Man's TouchThe Colbert ReportS3
It's insensitive to remind Condoleezza Rice that she's going to die without knowing a man's touch.
Bears & Balls - GasThe Colbert ReportS3
Buy gas! It's a sure-fire commodity with no risk except for the sure risk of fire.
Inspired by Dr. KingThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen calls for a national lie-in. It's time to go beyond passive resistance to pure passiveness.
Squeaky ChairThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is feeling a little high-strung with Bill O'Reilly's impending visit, and his chair is caught in the crossfire.
Pesos for PizzaThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is forced to rethink his three least favorite words: the Hollywood Foreign Press.
The Word - SymbolicThe Colbert ReportS3
A symbolic Congress makes a symbolic stand against a symbolic war.
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