The Colbert Report

You Are a Dummy

Season 5 • 05/12/2009

Stephen calls you dumb, dummy.

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03:22

Stephen's Fancy Feast
The Colbert ReportS5

When Stephen sends his assistant to get pate, she only brings back the fanciest of feasts.
05/11/2009
04:05

Credit Card Industry Regulation - Tamara Draut
The Colbert ReportS5

Tamara Draut believes industry regulation is necessary now that Americans are using credit for basic necessities.
05/11/2009
03:36

Credit Check
The Colbert ReportS5

Credit card companies are part of an honest industry just trying to make 30% on a buck.
05/11/2009
04:29

Jeff Daniels
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeff Daniels' explains how the play "God of Carnage" shows what happens once the mask of civility is taken away.
05/11/2009
01:35

Howard's End
The Colbert ReportS5

The Vatican's hesitation to boycott Ron Howard's movie, "Angels & Demons," shocks and dismays Stephen.
05/12/2009
00:32

Intro - 5/12/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The embargo on Cuba could be lifted, and Ron Howard discusses his directorial work on the most anti-Catholic film since "Sister Act 2."
05/12/2009
03:42

Cuba/US Trade Relations - Julia Sweig
The Colbert ReportS5

Julia Sweig explains why America should bother opening trade relations with Cuba.
05/12/2009
04:27

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Re-Brand the GOP
The Colbert ReportS5

The GOP needs to make painful, soul-searching, superficial changes to their image without altering anything inside.
05/12/2009
06:03

Ron Howard
The Colbert ReportS5

Ron Howard tells Stephen that "Angels & Demons" is about Robert Langdon saving the church, even though Jesus already did that.
05/12/2009
02:48

Our Plan in Havana
The Colbert ReportS5

Europeans try to take Americans' Cuba cash by lifting trade restrictions before the US.
05/12/2009
00:14

You Are a Dummy
The Colbert ReportS5

If you were offended by any part of the show, it's probably when Stephen called you dumb, dummy.
05/12/2009
00:28

Intro - 5/13/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The government has a new method for funding health care, and Michael Pollan defends food.
05/13/2009
04:49

Stephen's Coke Party Protest
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen is already twitching with excitement over his Coke-fueled party to protest the soda tax.
05/13/2009
06:17

Colbert Platinum - $1,000 Dishes
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen's $1,000 omelet, $1,000 pizza and $1,000 sundae were worth every cent he didn't pay.
05/13/2009
02:05

Robert Gibbs Hates Ringing Cell Phones
The Colbert ReportS5

Ringing cell phones distract from the illumination of Press Secretary Robert Gibbs' White House briefing.
05/13/2009
05:18

Michael Pollan
The Colbert ReportS5

Michael Pollan advises that the best food to eat is anything with less than five ingredients in it.
05/13/2009
00:12

Stephen Colbert Is Awesome
The Colbert ReportS5

If you didn't notice tonight's theme, it was "Stephen Colbert is awesome."
05/13/2009
05:03

Yahweh or No Way - Father Cutie & Miss California
The Colbert ReportS5

God wants priests to be celibate, and Miss California, Carrie Prejean, might be the second coming.
05/14/2009
01:26

Caveman Porn Stash
The Colbert ReportS5

German archaeologists discover a caveman's porn sculpture 35,000 years after he dies.
05/14/2009
03:41

DonorsChoose.org Donations
The Colbert ReportS5

The five branches of the military are in a tight race for your donations, and kids from the schools you're funding send Stephen their art.
05/14/2009
00:31

Intro - 5/14/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Donald Trump allows Miss California to keep her crown, the DonorsChoose competition continues, and Yusuf performs.
05/14/2009
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