The Colbert Report
Intro - 10/13/09
Season 5 • 10/13/2009

Stephen tells babies to get a job, and Sylvia Earle prevents him from deep-frying a merman.

Watching

07:17

The Colbert ReportS5
War of Peace - Shashi Tharoor

Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
10/12/2009
02:23

The Colbert ReportS5
Exclusive - Tennis Lesson With James Blake

Stephen learns that tennis is an anything goes free-for-all where deuce is good and love is bad.
10/12/2009
00:18

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Thanks to the Guests

Stephen thanks Shashi Tharoor, James Blake and Sanjay Gupta for being his guests.
10/12/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 10/12/09

The world has a peace prize in its pocket for Barack Obama, Dr. Sanjay Gupta keeps Larry King "live," and Stephen looks for a backup job.
10/12/2009
05:36

The Colbert ReportS5
Sanjay Gupta

Sanjay Gupta wants to intervene in the process of death and possibly reverse it.
10/12/2009
05:47

The Colbert ReportS5
Sylvia Earle

Sylvia Earle stresses the importance of doing everything we can to protect the ocean and restore health to the system that takes care of us.
10/13/2009
00:11

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Gmail

If you're watching on a computer, open up Gmail so Stephen can check some messages.
10/13/2009
04:47

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Symbol-Minded

The cross has nothing to do with Christianity -- it's just the normal symbol of the resting place of the dead. Download The Word NOW!
10/13/2009
04:19

The Colbert ReportS5
The Born Supremacy - David Javerbaum

One of the most interesting things David Javerbaum discovered while researching his book is that pregnancy often affects the mother.
10/13/2009
03:08

The Colbert ReportS5
Jermaine Maine Tweets Miley Cyrus Facts

Stephen's pop star alter ego, Jermaine Maine, posts Twitter updates about Miley Cyrus' life.
10/13/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 10/13/09

Stephen tells babies to get a job, and Sylvia Earle prevents him from deep-frying a merman.
10/13/2009
00:09

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Should Have Put a Ring On It

If you liked tonight's show, then you should have put a ring on it.
10/14/2009
04:24

The Colbert ReportS5
Yahweh or No Way - Legislation Prayers & Fake Shroud of Turin

Special interest groups pray on issues like health care, and an Italian scientist makes a fake Shroud of Turin look like Cher with a mustache.
10/14/2009
04:50

The Colbert ReportS5
The RZA

The RZA wants everyone to know that the truth shall set you free from all things.
10/14/2009
02:23

The Colbert ReportS5
Pat Roberts Warns Against Health Care Box Canyon

Pat Roberts is concerned that health care reform is full of spending quicksand, cactus tax hikes and policy briar patches.
10/14/2009
07:39

The Colbert ReportS5
The Obesity Epidemic - Amy Farrell

Amy Farrell believes the American government is misguided when it focuses on the obesity epidemic.
10/14/2009
01:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Stephen Unveils a New Portrait

Stephen unveils his brand new portrait on the four-year anniversary of The Colbert Report's first episode.
10/15/2009
05:09

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - Coal Lobbyists, George Takei & Crispycones

A coal lobby represents non-existent Americans, George Takei threatens the sanctity of game shows, and Crispycones are too easy to eat.
10/15/2009
03:29

The Colbert ReportS5
The Mayo-lution Will Not Be Televised

Stephen responds to Miracle Whip's advertising campaign with his own extreme ad for mayo.
10/15/2009
06:53

The Colbert ReportS5
Jerry Mitchell

Thanks to Jerry Mitchell's investigations, four people have gone to jail for crimes they committed in the civil rights era.
10/15/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 10/15/09

The Dow hits 10,000, Stephen taps into the youth culture, and Jerry Mitchell investigates unsolved crimes from the civil rights era.
10/15/2009
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