The Colbert Report
Obama's Epic Dog Quest
Season 5 • 03/31/2009
It was quicker to write two books about getting a dog then it was to get the dog.
Me Time - Emily Yoffe on Narcissistic Personality DisorderThe Colbert ReportS5
What's wrong with thinking that you are better than everyone else if it's the truth?
30 Minute ApplauseThe Colbert ReportS5
Late viewers, just pretend that you applauded for Stephen for 30 minutes.
Intro - 3/30/09The Colbert ReportS5
Is narcissism hurting America? More importantly, how does Stephen's hair look?
Me Time - American NarcissismThe Colbert ReportS5
We need ambition, self-confidence and extreme good looks to rebuild America.
Violence in MexicoThe Colbert ReportS5
Cross border drug traffic and violence could lead to the explosion of Lou Dobbs' head.
Intro - 3/31/09The Colbert ReportS5
Glenn Beck embarks on a new crusade, and David Plotz discusses every word of the Bible.
The 10.31 ProjectThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants you to ring doorbells and demand that your neighbors make a tangible commitment to America in the form of a sugary treat.
David PlotzThe Colbert ReportS5
David Plotz learned that the Bible is a lot messier than what they teach in Sunday school.
Sudoku AnswersThe Colbert ReportS5
Spoiler alert: Stephen has the answers to today's sudoku.
Better Know a Lobby - Newspaper Association of AmericaThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen urges John Sturm to include a porn section in online newspapers to earn extra cash.
Obama's Epic Dog QuestThe Colbert ReportS5
The Obamas' epic search for a dog inspired Stephen to write his own children's book.
Dambisa MoyoThe Colbert ReportS5
Dambisa Moyo wants to focus on long-term growth for Africa instead of temporary solutions.
Hide-and-SeekThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
The Word - Fine LineThe Colbert ReportS5
The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
Intro - 4/1/09The Colbert ReportS5
The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & ColonoscopiesThe Colbert ReportS5
A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
French Worker ProtestsThe Colbert ReportS5
Once again, Americans are going to have to show the French how it is done, just like with the mustache.
Intro - 4/2/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama meets with the president of Russia. The big question: what was Michelle wearing?
Merriam-Webster's Word's WorthThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen won't let Merriam-Webster engayify other straight words like "drag," "bear" and "Manwich."
Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & SpaceThe Colbert ReportS5
Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
You may also like5 Videos
Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack
A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie
Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed FriendsCursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
Out of Office Explores Remote Work AbsurdityOut of Office
A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.