The Colbert Report
Baby Teeth Economy
Season 7 • 08/02/2011
The tooth market tanks during a record low year for quarters found behind ears.
The Word - With Great Power Comes No ResponsibilityThe Colbert ReportS7
With the proposed Super Congress, only 12 lawmakers will have to make unpopular recommendations, and the rest of Congress can avoid blame.
"Three Billy Goats Gruff" Budget NegotiationsThe Colbert ReportS7
When handling budget negotiations, Troll Obama should never have let the Republican billy goats clomp over his bridge.
Intro - 8/1/11The Colbert ReportS7
Barack Obama makes a deal with Republicans, a new technology honors the dead, and Zappos' C.E.O. Tony Hsieh always does free returns.
From Ashes to BulletsThe Colbert ReportS7
Alabama company Holy Smoke turns loved ones' ashes into real bullets that can be used to hunt turkeys on Thanksgiving.
America's Credit Grating - David LeonhardtThe Colbert ReportS7
According to The New York Times' David Leonhardt, safeguarding America's credit rating requires reducing health costs and raising taxes.
Intro - 8/2/11The Colbert ReportS7
America's credit rating may be downgraded, the recession affects children, and Al Hunt has 42 years of journalistic experience in Washington.
America's Credit GratingThe Colbert ReportS7
America should handle credit ratings agencies the way it does all terrorists: by marching the marines into their offices and whisking them off to Gitmo.
Newt Gingrich's Twitter ScandalThe Colbert ReportS7
Allegations arise that 80% of Newt Gingrich's Twitter followers aren't real, but making up people may be the key to keeping his campaign alive.
Al HuntThe Colbert ReportS7
Bloomberg News' Al Hunt believes Barack Obama lost the debt ceiling negotiation, but he doesn't think the Republicans won.
Sign Off - GoodnightThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen shoots WristStrong bands into the audience and says goodnight.
Baby Teeth EconomyThe Colbert ReportS7
In order to get the soft tooth market back up, kids must reduce baby teeth inventory and stop losing teeth.
Sign Off - Official Flag UpdaterThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen considers the legitimacy of the states in his American flag sampler.
ThreatDown - Fake States, Sharia Weather & MonopolyThe Colbert ReportS7
The state of North Dakota may not exist, subversive weather blows into Arizona, and the classic American game of anti-trust law violation gets a makeover.
Women's Health-Nazi PlanThe Colbert ReportS7
Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites.
Intro - 8/3/11The Colbert ReportS7
An old kids' game gets updated, the government gives women new health guidelines, and Robert Wittman investigates art crime.
Robert WittmanThe Colbert ReportS7
Art crime investigator Robert Wittman recovers stolen paintings around the world and explains the challenges of museum security.
Multiracial Spider-ManThe Colbert ReportS7
A half-black, half-Hispanic Spider-Man replaces a dead Peter Parker, setting a terrible precedent for superhero diversity.
Intro - 8/4/11The Colbert ReportS7
Somebody snuck a vegetable into Wisconsin, baseball's cherished records face a threat, and Anthony Bourdain travels the world in search of great food.
Wisconsin's Recall Election & Americans for Prosperity's Absentee Ballot TyposThe Colbert ReportS7
The Koch brothers-funded Americans for Prosperity PAC sends absentee ballot applications with minor inaccuracies to Wisconsin's Democratic districts.
Anthony BourdainThe Colbert ReportS7
Chef Anthony Bourdain worries about the ballooning of Americans and occasionally eats endangered birds with a hood over his head.
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