The Colbert Report
The Word - Sir, Yes, Sir
Season 2 • 04/18/2006
Now, if you get five stars, it means you get a free cup of coffee.
The Colbert ReportS2 On Notice - Journal of Paleolimnology
If scientists had any balls, they would just say what did happen, rather than what may have happened. That's what the Bible does.
The Colbert ReportS2 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fly Glasses
German scientists use lasers to put a tiny pair of glasses on a common housefly, and Stephen is angry.
The Colbert ReportS2 Dime Boycott
Stephen can take a monkey metaphor as far as he needs to.
The Colbert ReportS2 Reza Aslan
Religious scholar Reza Aslan promises to say something inflammatory next time.
The Colbert ReportS2 Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer Prize
Let's just say Stephen Colbert is a character, and he's retarded, but he doesn't know it.
The Colbert ReportS2 Intro - 4/18/06
In this episode, retired generals criticize Donald Rumsfeld's leadership, scholars find the Gospel According to Judas, and Stephen nails ACLU Director Anthony Romero.
The Colbert ReportS2 Baby Monitor
Stephen plays John Ashcroft's "Let The Eagle Soar" for newly hatched Stephen Jr..
The Colbert ReportS2 Stephen Jr. Hatches!
Stephen Jr. broke through his egg just like Reagan when he broke down the Berlin Wall.
The Colbert ReportS2 ThreatDown - Pooh
A cuddly, non-threatening bear is about as plausible as a tiger with a springy tail.
The Colbert ReportS2 Anthony Romero
Even though America isn't a Christian nation, Stephen thinks ACLU Executive Director Anthony Romero should acknowledge that we're almost all Christians.
The Colbert ReportS2 The Word - Sir, Yes, Sir
You don't change horses midstream. And we don't even know if Iraq is a stream -- it may be a lake.
The Colbert ReportS2 Caitlin Flanagan
Stephen asks author and journalist Caitlin Flanagan, "What's the deal with chicks?"
The Colbert ReportS2 Global Warming TV
Stephen thinks global warming makes for horrible television.
The Colbert ReportS2 Intro - 4/19/06
In tonight's episode, global warming is real, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a baby, and Caitlin Flanagan argues that a woman's place is in the home.
The Colbert ReportS2 The Word - Save It
The whole debate basically boils down to, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
The Colbert ReportS2 White House Press Secretary
Stephen thinks it's about time we got rid of the White House press secretary.
The Colbert ReportS2 Tip/Wag - Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
Stephen Jr. isn't just Stephen's eagle, he's the nation's eagle.
The Colbert ReportS2 Better Know a District - Maryland's 4th - Albert Wynn
Stephen thinks that Representative Albert Wynn and his people shouldn't be allowed to vote -- and by "his people," he, of course, means "federal employees."
The Colbert ReportS2 Protecting Kids from Papers
Stephen doesn't want Stephen Jr. reading the isolationist rants in American newspapers like the USA Today.
The Colbert ReportS2 Ralph Nader
Stephen and Ralph Nader discuss whether corporations are people too.
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