The Colbert Report
The Word - Sir, Yes, Sir
Season 2 • 04/18/2006
Now, if you get five stars, it means you get a free cup of coffee.
On Notice - Journal of PaleolimnologyThe Colbert ReportS2
If scientists had any balls, they would just say what did happen, rather than what may have happened. That's what the Bible does.
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fly GlassesThe Colbert ReportS2
German scientists use lasers to put a tiny pair of glasses on a common housefly, and Stephen is angry.
Dime BoycottThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen can take a monkey metaphor as far as he needs to.
Reza AslanThe Colbert ReportS2
Religious scholar Reza Aslan promises to say something inflammatory next time.
Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer PrizeThe Colbert ReportS2
Let's just say Stephen Colbert is a character, and he's retarded, but he doesn't know it.
Intro - 4/18/06The Colbert ReportS2
In this episode, retired generals criticize Donald Rumsfeld's leadership, scholars find the Gospel According to Judas, and Stephen nails ACLU Director Anthony Romero.
Baby MonitorThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen plays John Ashcroft's "Let The Eagle Soar" for newly hatched Stephen Jr..
Stephen Jr. Hatches!The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen Jr. broke through his egg just like Reagan when he broke down the Berlin Wall.
ThreatDown - PoohThe Colbert ReportS2
A cuddly, non-threatening bear is about as plausible as a tiger with a springy tail.
Anthony RomeroThe Colbert ReportS2
Even though America isn't a Christian nation, Stephen thinks ACLU Executive Director Anthony Romero should acknowledge that we're almost all Christians.
The Word - Sir, Yes, SirThe Colbert ReportS2
You don't change horses midstream. And we don't even know if Iraq is a stream -- it may be a lake.
Caitlin FlanaganThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen asks author and journalist Caitlin Flanagan, "What's the deal with chicks?"
Global Warming TVThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen thinks global warming makes for horrible television.
Intro - 4/19/06The Colbert ReportS2
In tonight's episode, global warming is real, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a baby, and Caitlin Flanagan argues that a woman's place is in the home.
The Word - Save ItThe Colbert ReportS2
The whole debate basically boils down to, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
White House Press SecretaryThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen thinks it's about time we got rid of the White House press secretary.
Tip/Wag - Tom Cruise and Katie HolmesThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen Jr. isn't just Stephen's eagle, he's the nation's eagle.
Better Know a District - Maryland's 4th - Albert WynnThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen thinks that Representative Albert Wynn and his people shouldn't be allowed to vote -- and by "his people," he, of course, means "federal employees."
Protecting Kids from PapersThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen doesn't want Stephen Jr. reading the isolationist rants in American newspapers like the USA Today.
Ralph NaderThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen and Ralph Nader discuss whether corporations are people too.
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