The Colbert Report

The Word - Sir, Yes, Sir

Season 2 • 04/18/2006

Now, if you get five stars, it means you get a free cup of coffee.

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06:06

The Colbert ReportS2
On Notice - Journal of Paleolimnology

If scientists had any balls, they would just say what did happen, rather than what may have happened. That's what the Bible does.
04/17/2006
01:25

The Colbert ReportS2
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fly Glasses

German scientists use lasers to put a tiny pair of glasses on a common housefly, and Stephen is angry.
04/17/2006
02:30

The Colbert ReportS2
Dime Boycott

Stephen can take a monkey metaphor as far as he needs to.
04/17/2006
06:06

The Colbert ReportS2
Reza Aslan

Religious scholar Reza Aslan promises to say something inflammatory next time.
04/17/2006
03:05

The Colbert ReportS2
Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer Prize

Let's just say Stephen Colbert is a character, and he's retarded, but he doesn't know it.
04/18/2006
00:33

The Colbert ReportS2
Intro - 4/18/06

In this episode, retired generals criticize Donald Rumsfeld's leadership, scholars find the Gospel According to Judas, and Stephen nails ACLU Director Anthony Romero.
04/18/2006
00:15

The Colbert ReportS2
Baby Monitor

Stephen plays John Ashcroft's "Let The Eagle Soar" for newly hatched Stephen Jr..
04/18/2006
02:44

The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen Jr. Hatches!

Stephen Jr. broke through his egg just like Reagan when he broke down the Berlin Wall.
04/18/2006
04:32

The Colbert ReportS2
ThreatDown - Pooh

A cuddly, non-threatening bear is about as plausible as a tiger with a springy tail.
04/18/2006
06:13

The Colbert ReportS2
Anthony Romero

Even though America isn't a Christian nation, Stephen thinks ACLU Executive Director Anthony Romero should acknowledge that we're almost all Christians.
04/18/2006
02:28

The Colbert ReportS2
The Word - Sir, Yes, Sir

You don't change horses midstream. And we don't even know if Iraq is a stream -- it may be a lake.
04/18/2006
06:02

The Colbert ReportS2
Caitlin Flanagan

Stephen asks author and journalist Caitlin Flanagan, "What's the deal with chicks?"
04/19/2006
03:30

The Colbert ReportS2
Global Warming TV

Stephen thinks global warming makes for horrible television.
04/19/2006
00:34

The Colbert ReportS2
Intro - 4/19/06

In tonight's episode, global warming is real, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a baby, and Caitlin Flanagan argues that a woman's place is in the home.
04/19/2006
03:15

The Colbert ReportS2
The Word - Save It

The whole debate basically boils down to, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
04/19/2006
01:22

The Colbert ReportS2
White House Press Secretary

Stephen thinks it's about time we got rid of the White House press secretary.
04/19/2006
05:37

The Colbert ReportS2
Tip/Wag - Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

Stephen Jr. isn't just Stephen's eagle, he's the nation's eagle.
04/19/2006
06:26

The Colbert ReportS2
Better Know a District - Maryland's 4th - Albert Wynn

Stephen thinks that Representative Albert Wynn and his people shouldn't be allowed to vote -- and by "his people," he, of course, means "federal employees."
04/20/2006
03:09

The Colbert ReportS2
Protecting Kids from Papers

Stephen doesn't want Stephen Jr. reading the isolationist rants in American newspapers like the USA Today.
04/20/2006
05:52

The Colbert ReportS2
Ralph Nader

Stephen and Ralph Nader discuss whether corporations are people too.
04/20/2006
00:31

The Colbert ReportS2
Intro - 4/20/06

Tonight: juvenile delinquents reading Shakespeare, Ralph Nader and the shocking truth about Maryland's 4th District.
04/20/2006
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