The Colbert Report

The Word - Sir, Yes, Sir

Season 2 • 04/18/2006

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06:06

On Notice - Journal of Paleolimnology
The Colbert ReportS2

If scientists had any balls, they would just say what did happen, rather than what may have happened. That's what the Bible does.
04/17/2006
01:25

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fly Glasses
The Colbert ReportS2

German scientists use lasers to put a tiny pair of glasses on a common housefly, and Stephen is angry.
04/17/2006
02:30

Dime Boycott
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen can take a monkey metaphor as far as he needs to.
04/17/2006
06:06

Reza Aslan
The Colbert ReportS2

Religious scholar Reza Aslan promises to say something inflammatory next time.
04/17/2006
03:05

Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer Prize
The Colbert ReportS2

Let's just say Stephen Colbert is a character, and he's retarded, but he doesn't know it.
04/18/2006
00:33

Intro - 4/18/06
The Colbert ReportS2

In this episode, retired generals criticize Donald Rumsfeld's leadership, scholars find the Gospel According to Judas, and Stephen nails ACLU Director Anthony Romero.
04/18/2006
00:15

Baby Monitor
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen plays John Ashcroft's "Let The Eagle Soar" for newly hatched Stephen Jr..
04/18/2006
02:44

Stephen Jr. Hatches!
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen Jr. broke through his egg just like Reagan when he broke down the Berlin Wall.
04/18/2006
04:32

ThreatDown - Pooh
The Colbert ReportS2

A cuddly, non-threatening bear is about as plausible as a tiger with a springy tail.
04/18/2006
06:13

Anthony Romero
The Colbert ReportS2

Even though America isn't a Christian nation, Stephen thinks ACLU Executive Director Anthony Romero should acknowledge that we're almost all Christians.
04/18/2006
02:28

The Word - Sir, Yes, Sir
The Colbert ReportS2

You don't change horses midstream. And we don't even know if Iraq is a stream -- it may be a lake.
04/18/2006
06:02

Caitlin Flanagan
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks author and journalist Caitlin Flanagan, "What's the deal with chicks?"
04/19/2006
03:30

Global Warming TV
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen thinks global warming makes for horrible television.
04/19/2006
00:34

Intro - 4/19/06
The Colbert ReportS2

In tonight's episode, global warming is real, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a baby, and Caitlin Flanagan argues that a woman's place is in the home.
04/19/2006
03:15

The Word - Save It
The Colbert ReportS2

The whole debate basically boils down to, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
04/19/2006
01:22

White House Press Secretary
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Stephen thinks it's about time we got rid of the White House press secretary.
04/19/2006
05:37

Tip/Wag - Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
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Stephen Jr. isn't just Stephen's eagle, he's the nation's eagle.
04/19/2006
06:26

Better Know a District - Maryland's 4th - Albert Wynn
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen thinks that Representative Albert Wynn and his people shouldn't be allowed to vote -- and by "his people," he, of course, means "federal employees."
04/20/2006
03:09

Protecting Kids from Papers
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen doesn't want Stephen Jr. reading the isolationist rants in American newspapers like the USA Today.
04/20/2006
05:52

Ralph Nader
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen and Ralph Nader discuss whether corporations are people too.
04/20/2006
00:31

Intro - 4/20/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Tonight: juvenile delinquents reading Shakespeare, Ralph Nader and the shocking truth about Maryland's 4th District.
04/20/2006
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